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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fed up of Judgy comments to DS

526 replies

Fattyandconfused · 01/07/2022 23:35

DS is 12 weeks.

DP has always been obsessed with clothes. Looking smart, designer gear… the lot.

so when I got pregnant I knew we’d have a very well dressed little boy. He has a lot of high end clothes

but for some reason my friends ALWAYS have something to say about it.

always the “you have more money than sense” or “he’s a baby you are ridiculous” or “oh god” followed by eye rolls or bringing other people over “LOOK WHAT DS NAME IS WEARING NOW”

Most of the stuff is from outlets, so end up being a similar price to next baby clothes. But I cant be arsed to tell people that. People also don’t realise that DS wears clothes from charity shops, hand me downs etc. I feel like if I started justifying it by saying “oh well it only cost xxx and his trousers are charity shop” it makes me seem like I’m embarrassed. Im really not.

who wouldn’t want their DC to have the best of everything?

we aren’t in debt and it’s something DP loves to spend money on. People waste money on drink/drugs…

i dont really care what they think, but just get bored of these stupid comments. WHO CARES?
id love to know some responses that basically shuts it all down without me sounding like I’m getting aggravated by it.

OP posts:
Lemonsandlemonade · 02/07/2022 06:58

Parents judge parents/children every day. If it’s not clothes it’s something else.

put your child in whatever you like people will always comment about something.

your reaction to other posters though is very OTT and quite frankly rude.

SaltySalad · 02/07/2022 07:00

coffeecupsandfairylights · 02/07/2022 06:56

Why is almost everyone slating OP here, when all she wants is what is best for her baby?

Because buying designer clothes for a 12 week old baby isn't doing what's best. Babies don't care what you dress them in as long as they're comfortable, well-fed and loved.

Buying designer clothes is all for the parents - which is of course absolutely fine if you can afford it - but don't dress it up as "doing what's best" for the child when it's got absolutely nothing to do with their comfort or happiness.

Oh c’mon, dressing your baby in beautiful clothes is just that. OP herself says she wants the best for her baby in every way, not just clothing.

Great if you are happy dressing your baby in whatever but no need to be unkind to someone who does it differently.

ElbowGreaseLightning · 02/07/2022 07:05

OP, it's OK so long as you are fine with your DC getting those clothes wrecked. So long as you are not stopping your DC doing things when they are older because they are wearing a Moncler puffer jacket and you don't want it ruined.

Your DC will at some point in the next 18 months; projectile vomit, cover themselves in snot, turn their tops orange from carrot puree, be in sand pits and discover playdough. Make sure your stuff washes at at least 60 degrees to get rid of all the above. If you pull your child back because of their clothing then that is not good for their socialisation with others and development.

TheKeatingFive · 02/07/2022 07:06

I don't know many people who would consider Ralph Lauren to be 'the best' clothes they could dress their baby in.

But no matter OP. You do you. Tackle the comments head on if they are annoying you.

Stag82 · 02/07/2022 07:06

I’m pregnant with baby number 3.

i consider next too expensive for the baby years as in my experience they grow so quick. DS never fit newborn and went into 3-6 months at 6 weeks!

I’ve bought most my stuff from
vinted, Facebook market place and the odd supermarket buy. I’m sure at the other end of the spectrum I cud get called cheap…
don’t care! If a friend kept doing it and it bothered me I’d pull them aside and tell them (altho my friendship circle is small by choice) and if it wasn’t a friend I’d ignore them cos don’t care.

lolaspinola · 02/07/2022 07:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

GetThatHelmetOn · 02/07/2022 07:07

I think you may be getting a bit over sensitive, or your friends competitive, it happens when you get a baby, people become more critical or sensitive (and nasty!) about what is perceived to be “best care” for a baby.

Ignore them and ignore yourself, it really doesn’t matter.

fyn · 02/07/2022 07:08

I was anticipating the best of everything to be head to toe Bonpoint cashmere, not Gant from the outlet!

LakieLady · 02/07/2022 07:10

Christinatheastonishing · 02/07/2022 00:18

Isn't the whole point of branded clothing to make people notice it?

Yes, but only if people notice it in the right way, it seems.

Imo, things with desginer logos on are no more than free advertising for the manufacturer.

SaltySalad · 02/07/2022 07:11

ElbowGreaseLightning · 02/07/2022 07:05

OP, it's OK so long as you are fine with your DC getting those clothes wrecked. So long as you are not stopping your DC doing things when they are older because they are wearing a Moncler puffer jacket and you don't want it ruined.

Your DC will at some point in the next 18 months; projectile vomit, cover themselves in snot, turn their tops orange from carrot puree, be in sand pits and discover playdough. Make sure your stuff washes at at least 60 degrees to get rid of all the above. If you pull your child back because of their clothing then that is not good for their socialisation with others and development.

I don’t think that’s quite right. I bought my baby almost exclusively organic cotton or merino clothing and sold everything on. Nothing was trashed. Babies don’t get very dirty. Toddlers yes 😂

beenaroundtheblox · 02/07/2022 07:11

There's nothing more 'cheap' than seeing kids in designer clothes.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 02/07/2022 07:11

Oh c’mon, dressing your baby in beautiful clothes is just that. OP herself says she wants the best for her baby in every way, not just clothing.

How is buying a designer baby outfit doing "what's best for the baby", though?

Great if you are happy dressing your baby in whatever but no need to be unkind to someone who does it differently.

I haven't been unkind! I've said that dressing babies in designer gear is absolutely fine - but let's not pretend it's for anyone but the parents 🤷🏻‍♀️

JoieDeLivres · 02/07/2022 07:14

*Oh c’mon, dressing your baby in beautiful clothes is just that. OP herself says she wants the best for her baby in every way, not just clothing.

Great if you are happy dressing your baby in whatever but no need to be unkind to someone who does it differently.*

Couldn't agree more. Chin up and ignore the haters, OP! I love seeing kids’ faces when they feel good in a snazzy outfit and no reason why that shouldn’t start from day one - tbh I think it’s as important a part of building self-esteem as anything else. Some people will buy fancy designer outfits, some people will buy fancy non-designer outfits. You do you and enjoy your baby. As for your friends, I’d just explain that your DP loves designer clothes with a totally straight face, go completely silent and let them take it from there.

Aussiegirl88 · 02/07/2022 07:15

You seem to have no qualms in your replies here? so I'd think advice is not needed I think you likely just posted this so people know your baby dresses in designer clothes and you want to battle people on what their idea of what "IS BEST" for babys/children. Nobody really cares what you dress your kid in they're likely just pointing out how ridiculous you are in a way not so direct! much like comments on this thread.
just reply to your friends in the same manner you are here. Hope your son enjoys his "best hobbies" and by best clothing I wouldn't look twice at designer I'd look at Pure cotton, bamboo etc quality products not a logo

kagerou · 02/07/2022 07:15

@Fattyandconfused I dress DD in a lot of designer baby stuff (though all second hand as that suits my budget better). Most people have been complimentary especially when i say i got the things on ebay or vinted etc. but if anyone was negative i would just argue that i need to dress her in something so it might as well be something i like and find extra cute.

I'm under no illusion the clothes are better and also have plenty of things from Next etc but i just like the style of certain brands and love how they look on her

Plus there is only a limited window if time where i can wholly decide what she wears before she has her own opinions so I want to make the most of it!

Carpy88999 · 02/07/2022 07:15

The standard of trolling is going way down hill.

Cervinia · 02/07/2022 07:16

And another midnight post …

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 02/07/2022 07:18

I want my child to have the best of everything. Best clothes. Best hobbies. Best life. No exceptions.

😂😂😂

Lalosalamanca · 02/07/2022 07:21

When I see babies in "designer" clothing I will automatically judge you like most other people. Its ultra chavvy. However, I wouldn't openly air my thoughts with you and so you would be none the wiser.
I totally believe its your choice how you dress your little one and I think it's mean that your mates are being so openly rude.

DuarPorte · 02/07/2022 07:24

Ah I see hairy hands arrived at midnight and sounds people up! 🤣

DuarPorte · 02/07/2022 07:24

Wound* not sounds!

Skodacool · 02/07/2022 07:27

butterflied · 01/07/2022 23:51

What do you mean, best hobbies?!

I thought that too. I suspect DS is going to have to do the hobbies which are approved by DPs rather than those of his choosing.

TheKeatingFive · 02/07/2022 07:29

What do you mean, best hobbies

I'm thinking polo

OldGreyAppleFence · 02/07/2022 07:29

Designer clothes are not 'the best of everything'! Comfort, sustainability, and living within your means are far more valuable to a baby than logos.

SausageAndCash · 02/07/2022 07:30

Just tell them the truth.

”Haha, like father like son: you know DP likes his clothes. Luckily we can pick bits up in Sales and outlet shops etc”

And make sure you compliment your friends babies that are not dressed in ‘the best’.

Whatever you think about it, the truth is that dressing babies in designer gear (and adults, if it is all the time) can be seen as shallow or vain or ostentatious etc. You and your DP may or may not be any of these things but that’s how it is widely seen.

It’s not logical: some spend a fortune on Boden or Joules or Jojo Maman etc and the whole ‘oh they wear well / hold their value / look good second hand’ trope is well known.

Just laugh and say ‘it’s our thing, we like it’.