Fed up of Judgy comments to DS

[Fattyandconfused]

DS is 12 weeks.

DP has always been obsessed with clothes. Looking smart, designer gear… the lot.

so when I got pregnant I knew we’d have a very well dressed little boy. He has a lot of high end clothes

but for some reason my friends ALWAYS have something to say about it.

always the “you have more money than sense” or “he’s a baby you are ridiculous” or “oh god” followed by eye rolls or bringing other people over “LOOK WHAT DS NAME IS WEARING NOW”

Most of the stuff is from outlets, so end up being a similar price to next baby clothes. But I cant be arsed to tell people that. People also don’t realise that DS wears clothes from charity shops, hand me downs etc. I feel like if I started justifying it by saying “oh well it only cost xxx and his trousers are charity shop” it makes me seem like I’m embarrassed. Im really not.

who wouldn’t want their DC to have the best of everything?

we aren’t in debt and it’s something DP loves to spend money on. People waste money on drink/drugs…

i dont really care what they think, but just get bored of these stupid comments. WHO CARES?
id love to know some responses that basically shuts it all down without me sounding like I’m getting aggravated by it.

It sounds like you are not into fashion at all but are into designer brands and believe the worth of an Item of clothing is based on a logo.

I have the odd Joules and Boden item for my dd. The difference I think is that I pick them simply because I think they're super cute and heavily reduced in the sales not because their logo is plastered all over their clothes or to make any sort of statement. I do see your point though. IME they're no softer or kinder to baby's skin or hard wearing than other highstreet brands which therefore means they're also not much more environmentally friendly. All of the above are very commercial though whatever you want to tell yourself. One thing I vow to do if I have another is to not be as swallowed in by this consumerism as I think this is what is most unhelpful for the environment. I bought far too many clothes for her and my advice to any environmentally conscious parent is be realistic about what you need, stop buying when you have enough and most important tip; learn how to get stains out of clothes so your baby doesn'g render it useless after one use 🤣

Not to be rude, but who cares...Well obviously you and your DP do. Your DS doesn't benefit in the least that his clothes are designer rather than high street as long as he's comfortable. So you're not giving him 'the best of everything' you're just using him to make a statement that his parents like designer labels. Which is absolutely fine. But you have to accept that when you make a statement it won't always get the reaction you hope. So while you want people to judge you as trendy, able to afford designer clothes, or whatever the intention is, you run the risk that people will make entirely different judgements instead.

People who wear obviously designer clothing or dress their children in it, are doing it to be judged. They just assume the judgement will be positive. If you go out of your way to impress those who share your taste, you have to accept that you will not impress those who don't.

Just as ridiculous as dressing babies as elves or pumpkins, designer nurseries or any party under 5- not for kids benefit, just parents and adults. Babies do not care.

“who wouldn’t want their DC to have the best of everything?“

what makes you think the high end designer stuff is the best? It screams tacky on little kids.

people go broke trying to look rich.

My friend calls them ten bob millionnaires
(This won't mean anything to anyone under the age of 60 )

Just ignore them. It's none of their business. If that is what you want to spend your money on that is your business. I think wasting money on smoking, boozing, gambling is terrible.

I think that as long as your baby is also getting everything a baby needs - and I'm going to assume he is - then it's upto you what he wears as long as your family can afford it. No idea how to stop the comments coming though!

My sister did the same for her baby. Isn't my thing but some people choose this for their children and exactly this, it is their choice.
Don't respond to her, you don't have to justify your choices.
Personally I waited till my child was a bit older so she got more wear out of things. And I always pass clothes on so they get maximum wear.
Try not to listen to others, if she ant e happy with your choices, that isnher issue but maybe tell her that you don't appreciate her constant remarks.

They're all made in China, Sri Lanka or anywhere but the UK, so the label is just free advertising.
I bought a Ralph Lauren silk dress that I saw Zara Philips wearing when we were both at a race meeting (not together) earlier this year.
When it arrived, after receiving emails ostensibly from their HQ in Italy, I saw that it was made in China.
Rigby&Peller who make underwear for HM as well as the hoi-polloi, have their manufacturing base in Sri Lanka. I have bought (and paid through the nose) for lingerie made in the same factories that Primark and M&S among many many other companies use.
It's all a con. Just like food labelling.
Only snobby people place huge store on labels.

Just say: "Yes we think he looks cute. And your (commenters childs name) looks nice/cute/sweet in that too!" pointing at whatever their child is wearing. Maybe comment on the nice colour or something. In other words don't react to their apparent snidiness. just comment kindly on their kids etc!

I often wonder why people dress children in clothing that is expensive and covered in logos. Reading the comments by the OP I now realise it's because they think the clothing is 'the best' and they want everyone to know that they can afford to spend that money. I suspect your friends are laughing at you OP. Maybe find new friends who share your enthusiasm for being flashy.

I'm more interested in what washing powder you use, if boke and poop stains all come out in your washing machine?

Well if your “not bothered” & “over it” why post asking opinions.

But they don't look rich. Really rich people will buy very expensive clothing for themselves and their children but the difference is it's not covered in brand names or logos.

My almost 3 year old is obsessed with birthdays and parties, the cake, balloons, opening presents and so on.

I wouldn’t take the “judgey comments” as being directed to your DS as he’s a baby and not choosing how he dresses. I wouldn’t bother to respond to their comments at all or would just play along and say “ha ha he’s wearing Ralph Lauren today”. Are they being ‘judgey’ or just making conversation. It’s up to you what you spend your money on, some people work hard for not necessarily a high income and not everyone can or does spend money on alcohol or smoking either, those justifications are irrelevant.

Can you just use a stock phrase to shut your friends down? Like “well I think he looks adorable and lovely, just like your child does.” It is possible your friends want to bring you back down to earth, or feel a bit jealous, but just make sure you shower their children with compliments and all should be well.

When DS was born my DP spend loads in Ralph Lauren buying basically miniature versions of what he wears. He too is really into designer brands etc. but it got to a point where he was wearing things a couple of times then growing out of them, that he decided not to bother any more. DS is now in primary school and couldn’t care less about wearing designer brands - he would in fact rather wear is among hoodie than anything designer. He’s got a couple of bits I picked up from TK Maxx but he very rarely wears them.

I have friends who still dresses their DCs in expensive clothes and I do think it’s a waste of money when they grow so fast but it’s their money and I’d never comment on it. The fact your friends do seems a bit mean. I’d just ignore the comments and they’ll tire of it eventually.

*Among Us hoody that should read!

Ignore them! I spend hours and hours looking for baby clothes for my son! Some designer, mostly Ralph Lauren (just because that always seemed to be the best fit as it was wider). But I love the French designers like Bonpoint because the clothes are soooo soft. I always get complimented on how well dressed my son is and how cute he looks.
They are just jealous they can't afford them, everybody wants the best for their baby. My friends all ask if they can have my hand me downs already! They aren't even pregnant. Babies are new to the world and so precious, they deserve to be dressed beautifully in soft clothes! Also I am making the most of it before he gets to a toddler and ruins everything at which point I might not buy so much!
Honestly screw anybody who is that judgemental.. their babies are probably in bobbly clothes that aren't very comfortable. I hate that mentality.. I think my son deserves the very best I can give him.

I was just the same, bought my daughter everything designer!
but after spending a fortune on baby grows and outfits. One puck and they were stained! Crisp white baby grows from Tesco/Asda was my go to in the end! Added pretty cardigan etc but seriously looking back wasn’t worth spending all that money. She is 12 now and likes the odd designer thing!
The fashion now at that age is Riverisland, Nike and Adidas now! Not Ralph Lauren, boss or Hilfiger that’s for us oldies!

But is he comfortable? Children dressed up in shirts and trousers at 12 weeks is not what babies are about. Their podgy little bellies and nappies need space to wriggle in baby grows. Just because your DP ‘loves fashion’ doesn’t mean you can get on your soap box when people roll their eyes at your ridiculousness.