Fed up of Judgy comments to DS

[Fattyandconfused]

DS is 12 weeks.

DP has always been obsessed with clothes. Looking smart, designer gear… the lot.

so when I got pregnant I knew we’d have a very well dressed little boy. He has a lot of high end clothes

but for some reason my friends ALWAYS have something to say about it.

always the “you have more money than sense” or “he’s a baby you are ridiculous” or “oh god” followed by eye rolls or bringing other people over “LOOK WHAT DS NAME IS WEARING NOW”

Most of the stuff is from outlets, so end up being a similar price to next baby clothes. But I cant be arsed to tell people that. People also don’t realise that DS wears clothes from charity shops, hand me downs etc. I feel like if I started justifying it by saying “oh well it only cost xxx and his trousers are charity shop” it makes me seem like I’m embarrassed. Im really not.

who wouldn’t want their DC to have the best of everything?

we aren’t in debt and it’s something DP loves to spend money on. People waste money on drink/drugs…

i dont really care what they think, but just get bored of these stupid comments. WHO CARES?
id love to know some responses that basically shuts it all down without me sounding like I’m getting aggravated by it.

Take the money you would waste on the next set of clothes he'll wear for a matter of weeks and put it into a savings account for university or a house deposit.

“we want the best for our kids”
do you make such crass comments with your friends? I wonder what prompted the “more money than sense” comment. I can see it !

i know someone who makes 500k. Their kids were all dressed in supermarket clothes as babies. The kids have well funded trust accounts, not designer clothes. Class doesn’t come with labels OP.

“I want my child to have the best of everything. Best clothes. Best hobbies. Best life. No exceptions”

hand me downs, charity shop clothes, Ralph Lauren etc are not “best” 🤭It’s just cheap and showy.

Try better brands and preferably new if you want the best. Clean comfortable clothes are the best for babies. Buying cheap second hand branded stuff is seriously so “wanna be” ! I bet you aren’t as wealthy as you are pretending to be and people can see through it.

Uhm - OP ….. is this piece about you?

link to story in mirror about mum buying gold dummies for toddler in designer attire taking milk and honey baths

Lol, what are “best hobbies” op?

wtf !?

I know you’re trying to be funny but what’s subjective is whether spending money on something that makes you happy is a “waste”. You have to dress them in something; if you’d rather spend (and can afford to) 40£ per baby grow than 4£ I don’t understand how that’s a waste or anyone else’s business 🤷🏻‍♀️

Great post by @MangshorJhol at the bottom of P6

so if your child wants something & you can afford said thing. You’ll say no and get them something else? no. Of course you wouldn’t.

As so many other posters have said - of course we would.
One of many things it is important to teach children is the value of things.

You seem very aggressive 🤔

Personally I wouldn't dress my kids in designer stuff because the two of them make a mess and are in at everything especially my youngest and I do think its a waste of money and for me and my family I would rather put money away for holidays and days out to have lots of memories. Once they're older they can decide what they want to spend their money on.

Dress your child however you want to. Everything you do as a parent you will be judged so I think you just need to ignore comments made by others. As long as your family are happy that's all that matters.

Best manners? Because if so, you had better start setting a better example.

The poster said 'I think....' so made it clear it was a subjective view?

That babies grow so fast is a fact.

Surely the best hobby could only be Polo?

Get it? 😁

I think this is where you'll become stuck.
You might have the rational behind why you buy them.but a kid as he grows up won't.he will see money,entitlement,money,better than.
He will want that lifestyle.and flaunt it or resent it depending on piers reaction.
So I thi k teaching him he wears this type of item is waiting for a fall tbh.
You see good items of clothing g.he will see hierarchy and labels

By best hobby I assume you mean an activity your child is passionate about and actually wants to pursue.

Out isn't anyone else's business.

But to imply that you're a better parent because you put your bairn in a Ralph Lauren Polo shirt invites comments.

Ralph Lauren and Gant are not top designer clothes. Well not unless you're a football casual.

I don't mean this to patronise OP but does this maybe stem from our own highschool days where kids were (I think) much more brand aware. I can remember when I was at school (in the 90's/naughties) the poor kid who bought netto products to do their food technology class being laughed at. And I can remember begging for a pair of those Kappa jogging bottoms 🤣 Nowadays we're actually proud to say we got that lovely dress from Primark and talk about the latest bargain meal we got from Aldi. However I can imagine if you were that kid who maybe even got bullied at school for not having the right brands that it sticks with you :-(

You do realise designer clothes aren’t “the best”, right? 😅

so if your child wants something & you can afford said thing. You’ll say no and get them something else? no. Of course you wouldn’t.

Be careful op, you are in danger of creating a monster, albeit out of love.

Its important that kids don’t get everything they want, even if those things are free. You don’t want to create an entitled spoilt child who wants their own way in the playground, thus being an unpopular child.

You are aiming for the polar opposite to your childhood, but there is a middle ground. Of course we want to see our children happy, and of course they get what they want Sometimes! But it’s important that they are said no too.

It’s important they learn the value of things and it’s important that they learn deferred gratification. It’s important that they learn they can’t always get what they want and how to deal with that disappointment. You can’t protect them from all of life’s disappointment and if they don’t learn to be at peace with that from an early age, you are going to have very unhappy young people who have behaviour issues at school and work, where everything doesn’t revolve round them.

Don’t create monsters through showing them love the wrong way. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Just say something along the lines of , 'we can afford it'. You don't need to justify buying them, just say it on repeat. My dd2 is wearing a lot of her big sister's clothes, some of her brother's too but when I do buy her clothes I go for handmade stuff from small businesses. I can afford it, I'm not in debt, like you I don't drink (so not spending money there) so I don't see what the issue is? My dh likes designer clothes, I have a thing for handbags instead, he does like to buy them some branded pieces and as we can afford it I don't sweat it.

I feel a bit sorry for you, really.

You seem to believe that you have it nailed in terms of what is "best" for your child.

The truth is, as they grow, and possibly as you have more children, if that is what you want (assuming this is your first child), your idea of what is "best" for them will change and evolve. And it won't be about the material stuff.

You'll probably look back on this thread one day and cringe a bit.

By all means, continue to do what you current believe is "best" for your children. It's your money. But just be prepared for comments from some parents who have a better understanding that life isn't about the 'stuff.'

You could do 'the best' for your baby by buying cheaper, but no doubt more comfortable clothes for him, and putting the money you've saved in an account for him, for the future.

As an adult, would you rather be able to say your parents dressed you in designer gear when you were too young to remember it, or that you have enough money saved by them for a house deposit?

Designer labels are what poor people wear because they think it makes them look rich.
For babies and children x 100
It is CRINGE

Well, we're all different, aren't we? I find your ignorant snobbery pretty cringe, though I mostly feel sad for you. It's so depressing seeing all the class-hatred on here - the people posting it must have so little to be proud of that they need to sneer at others to make themselves feel better.

It's astounding to me that Boden, White Stuff and Joules are all fawned over on here but Ralph Lauren is not. It's all branding is it not? Does it really matter? The child is clean and dressed in what the parent can afford and likes. The snobbery on this thread is really about ignorance and a lack of intelligence. Nothing wrong with Adsa, Boden or Ralph Lauren as long as it's clean, comfortable and you can afford it. Judging people is idiotic.

I agree with other PPs who suggest that it's most likely not your choice of clothing for your son which is provoking people to be 'judgemental'. Possibly some of your rationale as explained here might be what is irritating them. I'm sure you are a perfectly nice and level-headed person IRL, but if you voice a view that 'designer' items and labels are to be admired or aspired to, then I can understand why that will wind people up.

It's one thing which I do judge people for - those who really do swallow the marketing hype about brands and labels. Surely anyone with a bit of common sense and experience can see how manipulative these brands are, and how daft it is to attach status and value to a label? Like many other PPs, I would only wear a logo if the company were paying me handsomely to do so. You and your DP might be coming over as gullible and snobbish - rather than anyone really caring about what your son is wearing.