Fed up of Judgy comments to DS

[Fattyandconfused]

DS is 12 weeks.

DP has always been obsessed with clothes. Looking smart, designer gear… the lot.

so when I got pregnant I knew we’d have a very well dressed little boy. He has a lot of high end clothes

but for some reason my friends ALWAYS have something to say about it.

always the “you have more money than sense” or “he’s a baby you are ridiculous” or “oh god” followed by eye rolls or bringing other people over “LOOK WHAT DS NAME IS WEARING NOW”

Most of the stuff is from outlets, so end up being a similar price to next baby clothes. But I cant be arsed to tell people that. People also don’t realise that DS wears clothes from charity shops, hand me downs etc. I feel like if I started justifying it by saying “oh well it only cost xxx and his trousers are charity shop” it makes me seem like I’m embarrassed. Im really not.

who wouldn’t want their DC to have the best of everything?

we aren’t in debt and it’s something DP loves to spend money on. People waste money on drink/drugs…

i dont really care what they think, but just get bored of these stupid comments. WHO CARES?
id love to know some responses that basically shuts it all down without me sounding like I’m getting aggravated by it.

OP, as someone who also came from nothing and also grew in a household where my sibling and I were often unsure whether we'd be fed, I understand why you'd want to dress your child in what you consider to be the 'best'.
A lot of my circle who came from similarly deprived backgrounds put their kids in 'designer' stuff as a push back against their own childhoods, where they were bullied about the clothes they wore etc (I was bullied the shit out for wearing hand me downs etc).
I guess that a lot of people might not understand that.
I don't dress my children in 'designer' stuff, as it's not to my taste. However, they are a lot better turned out than my sibling and I were.
Judging by your responses on here, you can hold your own.
People making catty/snide comments are entitled to their opinion, but that doesn't they need to share it.
Some of your friends sound like dicks.

Couldn't care less what people waste their money on. However I would judge if it results in you being really precious about getting stuff dirty. Especially in his toddler years.

Read a story called the emperors new clothes

This

YANBU BUT your comment about best of everything is ridiculous. Its not better just because its branded. Its just more expensive (usually new) and a branded name, doesn't mean it wasn't still made by little slaves in a poor country.

In fact i used to work somewhere that created clothing for 2 highstreet stores. 1 top would cost £10 from one shop and another shop £50 .. same material different tags.

Babies are only aware of what is comfortable to them; brands and logos are of no benefit to them. At 12 weeks, if your baby is wearing anything but a soft vest, sleepsuit and cardigan, yabvu. I assume he is, because you've made a point that you intend to sell his outfits on, and used sleepsuits have no resale value.

You'll be judged negatively if you make any concessions to your baby's comfort to appease his father, and any retort will be interpreted as further evidence of your lack of perspective.

I suppose the point is, that an item with a recognisable designer logo doesn’t necessarily equal ‘ the best’.

I often think of someone a colleague told me about - a grandmother friend of hers was shopping with a little Gdd when she offered to buy her a chain store pink jumper she thought she’d love.,

The child turned her nose up. ‘I only wear designer.’ She was three!

Equally I well remember a magazine interview with a famous footballer’s son, of maybe 10 or 12. He said, in all seriousness, ‘I have to wear designer clothes or people would just think I’m a horrible little boy.’

These are the sort of attitudes that make people 😱.

“Best” is subjective though isn’t it? Best doesn’t necessarily equate to expensive/designer. There are plenty of people out there who reject that conspicuous “look” with logos and brands. It’s a bit lacking in class and in your face.

Personally I would hate to dress my kids in “labels” wherever they’re bought from.

Op if you're still reading this, ignore the snooty, sanctimonious replies on here. If you'd said you dress your child in expensive organic cotton not Gant they would no doubt be all falling over themselves to offer witty responses to your friends. In a world where some kids are treated like dirt by their parents, it's really unfair that your being piled on for trying to do your best.

I don’t think it’s jealousy.

Many people view this kind of on your face consumerism and addiction to aspirations brands as tacky and a bit sad.

think the house full of crushed grey velvet sofas.

just because people gently mock something doesn’t make them jealous.

although it is rude.

A 12 week old in designer clothes?😂

You don’t seem to be struggling to defend yourself on here so why not just say ‘we bought it because we like it’ and leave it at that. If you keep giving them the same answer I’m sure they’ll stop mentioning it

It’s a common thing to do though. In one of the big shopping centres in Glasgow there is a whole big store selling high end designer brands for Pete schoolers. And people who are DESPERATE to prove how well they’re doing and how much money they have flock there. People who are more secure in their own skin don’t bother

Many people view this kind of on your face consumerism and addiction to aspirations brands as tacky and a bit sad

I agree it lacks class.

Really, I don't think you'd be posting this, if you didn't realise - deep down even - that it IS a bit silly and wasteful to dress a tiny baby in designer clobber.

I know a few parents like this, all the children are terrified of being dirty because mommy needs to resell the clothes to justify the cost.

They then aren’t exposed to germs, because looking good trumps play.

Then they wonder why their kids are I’ll all the time.

If your husband wants to dress him in designer clothes then let him take him out for the comments - stick to your primark choices when you meet friends - you say you don’t notice, but clearly you do!

Save your pennie’s for his university education and a house deposit, something with more longevity. You may not earn well forever, you could end up divorced, or sick etc - plan longer term and he’ll appreciate it more.

Your baby is only 12 weeks you have a lifetime of being judged by others whether it’s, if you are working full time, part time or a sahm. You will be judged by some for giving your baby a dummy and judged by some for not. You will be judged if you are too strict or not strict enough and on it goes . All humans are self righteous we all think our way is the right way😂 So just do what’s best for you and your family. And try and ignore the comments.

I'm not a fan of designer labels at the best of times, so on a baby seems a little ott, but not sure it's something I would notice

Honestly as long as your baby is happy and comfy who gives a shite. Theres such an inverse snobbery around kids clothing, I swear some people think if your child isn't dressed in 4th hand rags covered in mud then they aren't having a good childhood.

I'd be direct rather than trying any sort of passive aggressive comment. "Listen ladies, I know you think it's funny to make comments about DSs outfits but its wearing a bit thin now, can we stop?' Job done.

PFB - I suspect standards might slide with a sibling or two!!

Chav is its own legitimate culture and style - like preppy, punk, hipster etc... its quite polorising 'marmite' style (same way hippy was in the 60s and punk in the 70s and glam in the 80s and grunge in the 90s) but if you think it should be banned then you are trying to irradicate a whole group of people and remove people choice, pretty intolerant of you.

If OP said she only dressed baby in black and someone said that sounds 'goth' would you claim its hate speach? honestly ridiculous people trying to be so offended.

This

Don’t take it personally, DD was still in babygrows at 12 weeks (mothercares winter collection 😬). I couldn’t care less what other people think. I think designer anything for a kid is a bit silly, but perhaps you would think having my 3 month old in babygrows is a bit rubbish. Who cares.

However if you make it a big deal your kid will suffer from feeling inadequate when they can’t have “the best” as you put it.

Those who are saying designer clothes with logos invite attention. How about live and let live. I don't wear clothes with logos but another person, especially a baby wearing it does not cause any harm.

If friends really care about discomfort of the child, they can say so without eye rolling or calling another person for reaction. This bit sounds very odd.

However, I agree with some pps that organic cotton, better quality material would be better choice than clothes with the logos.

@mam0918 that reminds me of idiots who claim that it’s OK to use the P word because ‘well we call Americans yanks’

It's jealousy. Motherhood seems to bring out the worst in women till their kids are teens and then we all calm the fuck again and stop judging each other. It's a mystery but it's very real.