Inappropriate messages to colleague

[effinghellg]

I've just woken up, was drinking last night. Have a colleague I work with in my part time job who I am definitely attracted to but he is quite a bit younger than me and has a girlfriend and I've never mixed business with pleasure (assuming I even could).

I had a lot of drinks last night and ended up messaging him. I am actually mortified, I can't go into the messages but I remember sending him some really inappropriate ones over several different social medias. WhatsApp was more professional messages but on Facebook I sent him a more inappropriate one in which he responded, 'I don't know what you mean'.

I haven't been able to fully go into the messages due to fear but I am absolutely mortified, I don't know how to style this out or how I'll even show my face again. The poor guy. I feel horrendous. I honestly don't know what to do other than quit.

Should I quit??

Say that the ‘I offended you’ one was meant for someone else but because you’d just whatsapped him (and had had a drink) you’d sent it to him by accident. I’d just Facebook message now and say ‘sorry, that wasn’t meant for you. I’d had a drink and must have gotten confused after just having whatsapped you. See you in work’ and leave it at that

I'd say "I'm so sorry. I think I sent you a message on Facebook about offending you. It was meant for my friend. Sorry about that!" And laugh it off.
They're not bad messages. I was expecting you'd said something so much worse from your OP. Don't worry. And don't quit your job!! 😂

I've used xxx a few times just as a sort of "virtual hug" to show someone support or just being a bit human about stuff to a very select few female colleagues who I get along with and have a high level of trust going on. Never for male colleagues so it can't be misconstrued .

I would say nothing about the message, @effinghellg youve done nothing inappropriate- however I'd resolve from now on not to send texts with xxx on to male colleagues esp when you've had a skin full. Consider it a lucky escape, but don't do it any more, it isn't worth the stress.

Is that it?

I thought this had sexual harassment case written all over it from your OP!

Just laugh it off with a 'ooops had way too much to drink, no idea what I was on about either!''

Honestly you have nothing to worry about, just say sorry it was, meant for someone else! Jez from your OP we all assumed you'd sent sexually explicit messages or declared love. I don't think you need to worry at all it's certainly not a reason to consider resigning!

‘Oops, I had a couple of drinks yesterday and wasn’t thinking’ would cover this.

Style it out with a breezy message later this morning

"Hey just realised I got my messages to a friend mixed up and sent some to you, must be the wine!" Sorry about that, see you at work"

Then back off and say absolutely nothing in future

Honestly, it's not that bad.

Blimey they're nothing. Lewd??? Nope.

If you need to say something I agree with saying you'd had a few and move on. Honestly you're sweating over nothing.

The WhatsApp messages were fine. The Facebook messages were meant for someone else.

The main issue here though is making sure it doesn’t happen again.

Nothing to worry about.
Do not chase it.
Do not message or he will think it is creepy .
If you don't worry nor will he.

Just say in passing, oh god, I'm always putting xxx on work messages, just a silly habit from messaging my friends.

What am i like? Laugh and then move on

Why even bother having that drink?
Say you're not drinking tonight and start to leave or only buy yourself one

I've used xxx a few times just as a sort of "virtual hug" to show someone support or just being a bit human about stuff to a very select few female colleagues who I get along with and have a high level of trust going on. Never for male colleagues so it can't be misconstrued .

Exactly - most people realise this astoundingly obviously distinction.

Oh dear. Have a look at everything, you need to. Then if you need to send him a message to apologise and say you had a bit too much to drink and had no idea what you were doing

They are not bad at all!
Just say the Facebook message was meant for someone else and the don’t even think any more about the whatsapp ones, it’s fine.

Unless there's a big chunk of messages you are missing out i really wouldn't give this much head space its not really what i would class as inappropriate. I would however leave it be and if he mentions is then just laugh it off as one to many wines. Sending weird messages about it not being meant for him is not necessary.

Are you always this dramatic?

Jeez. I thought you'd messaged him asking to sit on his face

They're fine. Just pretend it never happened.

This. It’s all fine.

Right- its very clear that you have the beer fear or hangxiety. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant so your brain produces stimulant chemicals to counteract this. Once the alcohol wears off, your brain is still flooded with stimulant chemicals making your feel anxious, paranoid and scared.

Its very hard to judge things rationally in this state but if that is all you did, you have NOTHING to worry about. I would go to work as normal and not even mention it- you didnt say or do anything rude at all.

IF he mentions it, eg "why on earth did you think you'd offended me?" simply shrug it off and say "oh ignore me- I was being silly wasnt I?" then leave it at that. You dont need to mention being drunk because what you said wasnt bad at all.

He will react to this scenario in accordance with you so go in being totally normal and it will be fine.

I would perhaps look at your drinking as its really not worth getting hammered if its going to make you feel so anxious the next day.

Drama queen and you were going to quit over that.

“Hey (colleague) I’m so sorry for the garbled messages last night, I can barely decipher what I was going on about! I’d had one too many! Sorry again”

I wouldn’t mention liking his photos. If he brings it up I’d feign ignorance or say something like “ah yeah a couple of people have told me I was liking all their pics last night too! Sorry”

The silver lining is at least you know he’s not interested in you in that way without making a complete fool of yourself.

I would apologise and say you were drinking and texting so
else at the same time.

Then I’d just act completely normal.

They're not embarrassing at all. I thought you'd told him you wanted to suck his cock in the stationery cupboard or something!

Fb message was for someone else, you were just pissed. Job done, move on.

So fucking sanctimonious!

Typical MN, who have half a glass of sweet sherry at Christmas!

You're fine OP, those are fine and the xxx are fine,