I've never been pregnant. If I was in the position at 24 weeks and finding out the fetus was incompatible with life. I don't know what I would do. But I'd appreciate having the option. I'm edging on termination, as I wouldn't want to prolong unnecessary suffering.
People have a habit of romanticising children's lives with disabilities.
Down syndrome the most common one. "My sister has a son with down syndrome and he is the most loving little boy ever, he's starting nursery next week" ...etc. Great, genuinely. In those cases I'm glad the child is alive, happy and doing well. I'm happy people chose to continue with their pregnancy and are able to provide a disabled child a loving, supportive home, I just don't think people should be shamed for not being able to do that.
People don't talk about the opposite end of the spectrum. I worked on a child's inpatient learning disability ward, of the 10 patients 4 were down syndrome. They were incontinent, one was deaf, one was aggressive and mostly had to be kept in isolation, only one of them was verbal, needed supervision when eating as they were choking risks. Of the other children, most of whom had disabilities that were likely detectable in utero, some needed daily restraints as they would try to hurt themselves or others, I remember taking a 12 year old to hospital as he bit a chunk out of his own hand. There was no reasoning with them, most lacked capacity. These children will have a life of care, it wasn't even a case of their parents couldn't cope, they were deemed unsafe to be managed in anything other than a secure facility.
When you have a child with a disability, you might have a child with a few additional needs, but with a bit of support, therapy, etc they go on to leave fulfilling lives.
Or you might have a child that with such severe needs, that as a mum you have to give up work, any career aspirations out of the window, you have to give up social events, perhaps the dreams of having another child. You have to accept that your life will be 24/7 care. When the child gets older, most parents are able to relax, get their time back. But, no, this will be your role till you physically can't manage any longer, then you enter old age with the fear of how your child will be looked after when you are gone.
I once visited a home of an elderly couple in their 80s, who were continously slapped and kicked by their severely disabled 60 year old son. The only time they ever in their life they got any break from care was when he went to a day centre 3 afternoons a week. They occasionally had to physically restrain their 60 year old son as he would hit himself.
If you have a disabled child, you can potentially have a great life with a few extra challenges but still a great life. Or you can have something that I just described above. A woman should be able to chose whether or not she is capable of potentially giving up the rest of her life to be a carer, it really isn't a flippant decision.
This isn't an argument of whether the disabled child's life is less valuable, of course it isn't. It's a case of whether a woman feels able to meet the childs/adults needs in worse case scenario. And she should not be shamed for not being able.