I think the big writing was absolutely perfect, and my condolences about your wee boy.
I feel it It important to remember that the fetal anomaly scan is not foolproof. Here is what I am seeing in my professional work:
-a rise in obese women which makes it very VERY difficult for us to visualise fetal anatomy on ultrasound.
-a lack of understanding that, for example, only 50% of cardiac anomalies are detected as the FAS (20 week fetal anomaly scan), meaning that in turn we have…
-a rise in late term anomalies identified due to increased fetal surveillance thanks to care bundles such as smoking cessation, low PAPP-A, diabetes, prev SFGA baby, rainbow clinics meaning women who have had pregnancy losses have more scans
etc.
you get the idea. So now, we see the ventricularmegaly that’s wasn’t visible on the FAS at the 28 week growth scan - it’s massive, woman was low risk on her screening so now it’s time for invasive testing or best case a cell free fetal DNA test. Let’s say that’s inconclusive, now we have to run the karotype… meanwhile WEEKS are ticking away.
No woman makes these decisions likely. When we do a very late TFMR it’s a tragedy for everyone, including the practioners. We go home and we think about you and your baby and we feel very very sad.
Choice for women is essential. No one should be forced to give birth or parent.