That alcoholism can be cured in certain people?

[teenagehurtbag]

I'm a 30 year old woman. Have drank since I was around 12, it was always problematic for me since my first sip. I had never been able to say no, if I had one drink then I needed 100 more, my personality and behaviour would change completely. I binged most weekends from the age of 14 to 24.

At age 24 my binges turned daily, I would drink at a minimum 1.5 bottles every single night come rain or shine. I would promise myself every morning that I wouldn't drink that night but I always ended up doing it anyways. I functioned find from 24 - 27. Was able to keep being a mum and go to work/university and keep on top of everything and whilst everyone knew I liked a wine, no one knew the extent.

Summer 2019 when I was 27 my drinking got to an unmanageable level. I would drink from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. I would sleep in between and get up and drink more as soon as I woke. My daughter (5 at the time) had to go and live with her dad. All I cared about was alcohol. I was so ill, lost so much weight.

In September 2019 I got help, started counselling. In October 2019 I stopped drinking for 6 months. I really really enjoyed this break from alcohol. It changed everything for me. I got my daughter back in the December 2019.

I started drinking again in March 2020 when lockdown hit. It was a conscious decision and I set myself rules. No drinking when my daughter was with me/coming home, no drinking 2 nights in a row and no drinking in the day.

At first I thought I was doomed as the fact I had to set those rules were enough of a concern. However, 2 years later and I have stuck to each of my rules, have managed to graduate uni, start my masters in September. I can actually drink like a normal person now. For instance the other day I went out with my friends and had two cocktails and went home and didn't drink for the rest of the day.

So many people say drinking in moderation isn't possible and at first I'd of agreed, but two years on and alcohol has about the same grip on me as a McDonalds Big Mac burger

Maybe I wasn't a true alcoholic. Maybe I was drinking to mask depression etc. but every professional I met with during that time claimed I was an alcoholic and on the fast track to lolling myself.

AIBU to think some people can be cured?

I agree with recent PP that by drinking again, at all, an alcoholic is actively choosing the risk of relapse over the security of their recovery.

In OP's case she has chosen the risk of relapse over the absolute knowledge (that she's worked bloody hard to get) that she won't lose her daughter.

"All I cared about was alcohol" was how she felt then, she says in her first post. Drinking at all is IMO risking relapse and potentially returning to that headspace, which is painful and exhausting.

@rainbowmilk Where did I say anything about how you should feel? I said alcoholism is a disease, which is a fact. You can feel however you want but a lot of people on MN Don't understand that a disease isn't a choice.

Where did I say you did? I suggested you not tell people how to feel about being raised by alcoholics.

People know it’s a disease. That doesn’t mean that they’re required to have sympathy for their parent(s).

I agree with you.

I too used to have a problematic relationship with alcohol and quit entirely.

However, quitting entirely made alcohol still a big part of my life - it still controlled me in a way. I had to avoid events and fely anxious and sad if i had to be around alcohol.

I went on a bit of a spiritual journey and long story short, through it, alcohol lost it's control on my life. These days i can drink normally. I can have an occasional drink when others are, and not need a second, third, fourth, like i used to. I never overdrink, I just don't have the desire. I'm just as happy with a coffee! When i quit entirely, alcohol still had a control over my life, these days it just doesn't matter to me at all, but allowing myself an occasional drink at appropriate times is an important part of that!

These days it's not an addiction, not something I crave, and not something I'm afraid of and need to avoid entirely. It's just something that I like occasionally but doesn't really matter to me.

I think you're down that big river in Egypt, OP.

What you seem to be saying is that you're different, the normal rules don't apply for you.Is that not what all addicts believe?

Exactly. It's a running joke in AA that when people come in at first they think they're different and special compared to everyone else.

Exactly. It's a running joke in AA that when people come in at first they think they're different and special compared to everyone else.

Exactly. It was always amusing to get the odd newcomer who would loudly insist that they were not an alcoholic, but had just had a spot of bad luck while drinking. 😊

I haven't read the thread but have some family experience attitudes in the UK (at least amongst professionals) and US seem very different.

Here we (as family) were taught to think of it as abusing alcohol, rather than "being" an alcoholic and a cross between abusing drugs, self medicating for other trauma and self harming. Absolutely nothing to say because you did it you can never ever get better. Goals in treatment and counselling were to work for moderation, self acceptance and healing from the traumas that caused the behaviours rather than you're just addicted to hurting yourself you can never have a glass of wine again under any circumstances.

Goals in treatment and counselling were to work for moderation, self acceptance and healing from the traumas that caused the behaviours rather than you're just addicted to hurting yourself you can never have a glass of wine again under any circumstances.

The problem with this approach is that it ignores the biochemical changes in the brain that result from prolonged alcohol exposure.

Molecular basis of alcoholism

Withdrawal from alcohol for people who have undergone these changes is commonly done in an inpatient setting as it can actually kill you and requires medical management.

Nailed it. Absolutely this is the addict in denial.

I was an alcoholic in my early 20s. Stopped drinking altogether for 15 years. I started again a few years ago and have been drunk a few times but have had no inclination to return to problem drinking and have seen no creep up in terms of quantity or frequency.

Alcoholism being an incurable disease is not my own personal experience.

I wish you well on your journey but you still can’t say no to alcohol.

The very common experience of recovering alcoholics that I know, myself included is that we tried organisations that advocate moderation. This is by no means a proven evidence but anecdotally. We'd attend self moderating organisations which allowed us to drink, then lie to the counsellors that we had successfully moderated. I would be told to keep a drink diary, I was too drunk to remember what I'd had. I shall be eternally grateful to have gone though as they got me into rehab where we were taught about not drinking again, one day at a time. Then I got sober in 2015 and i'll be eternally grateful for that.

If someone is a heavy drinker self moderating but if someone is an alcoholic and by that I mean, where the first drink triggers a craving and we can't stop until we reach somewhere near or actual black out, then it just doesn't work.

I would love to drink normally again but I have to accept that its the first drink that does the damage for me. There is no stopping after that one.

Hi OP, you feel seem to feel posters gave been harsh and were hoping for a more balanced discussion about the possibility of drinking in moderation.

Having been a fairly heavy drinker for over 20 years I have now been a moderate drinker for over 10/ nearer 15 years ( 10 to 14 units, or often less , per week )

I do not agree that all heavy drinkers can never moderate their intake but from your description of your drinking you couldnt stop when it affected your family significantly and needed it rather than simply enjoyed it and although you have been drinking moderately for a couple years the risk of returning to that place isnt one I would be willing to take .

Relative was dry for 14 years before deciding they could just have the occasional drink in moderation. They could…for a while.

within 5 years they were drinking for breakfast and now have such bad cognitive impairment due to drinking they are in a home.

Just realised this is quite an old thread . Hope you are doing okay OP.

Alcohol stops the antidepressants working as well btw, it could be why you’ve had to up them recently.

You've posted numerous times before? If you're so certain you no longer have an issue you wouldn't be posting to get reassurance.

Just saw someone bought up old thread. Why?!

@mercurial123 , because I didnt check the date of the last post , and almost immediately posted again to say I realised it was old .
You also added to it , What's your excuse ?? .
Aside from that anyone can post on any thread they wish to without your permission .