Page 6 | Baby Shower Gift List

StupidUsernameUnavailable · 2022-06-28T19:53:44+00:00

[INSERT SUBJECT] CF'ery or not?

SteamingHind · 01/07/2022 16:15

StupidUsernameUnavailable · 28/06/2022 21:03

I said no, and that I wasn't aware gift lists for baby showers were a thing.

I got back "Well they are all the rage in America"

I replied "but we are in the SE of England"

No reply as yet! 🤣🤣

"As is shooting classrooms of kids, so you probably don't want to have a child if you want everything to be like America"

NumberTheory · 02/07/2022 03:29

SteamingHind · 01/07/2022 16:15

"As is shooting classrooms of kids, so you probably don't want to have a child if you want everything to be like America"

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That is a really crass comment.

Lunarpsychobitch · 02/07/2022 03:57

WTAF @cricketwidoww
I bet she got a life supply of nipped cream and perineum gel, lol

Mellowyellow222 · 02/07/2022 03:59

I dislike the concept of showers - they are only about gifts. Many people here are uncomfortable buying gifts until the baby is born. So feel they then need to buy another gift when they visit the new baby.

but the people who claim they are simply doing it the American way rarely adopt the etiquette correctly.

baby showers shouldn’t be throw by the expectant mother or her family. That is grabby. They should the thrown by a friend.

GaryLurcher19 · 02/07/2022 04:00

I'd ask 'how much did you spend for my baby showers?'

And when they answer 'nowt because there were no baby showers back then' just wink.

CarburyChocolateRules · 02/07/2022 04:00

Im currently ‘hosting’ one for someone soon

There is no gift list tho, no mention of buying anything at all

caringcarer · 02/07/2022 04:08

@zenobitch, just wow, that is unbelievably cheeky. They expected more gifts.

Momtotwokids · 02/07/2022 04:17

mathanxiety love your post.

Caspianberg · 02/07/2022 04:49

I have no idea about baby showers, but I like gift lists.
means you can actually get something they need or want, rather than them doubling up or needing to still buy essentials

my brother and sil are due soon. Amazon list is far easier as we don’t live in the same country. Things like reusable nappies, teether, different board books, night light, bedding for the size crib they have, hat etc. ranging from £3-40 ish.
They have said they don’t really need much clothing due to friends with toddlers passing lots on

NumberTheory · 02/07/2022 06:07

NewNamePrivacyneeded · 01/07/2022 15:43

I think I've read it all - co-hosts for baby showers - where the fuck do these women exist? Surely there are at the selfish, entitled, greedy, CF, end of the scale.

Is this following hen night now hen weekends in foreign locations.

Bridezilla with the wedding demands.

Baby showers with the greedy fuckers list.

Yuck surely most people aren't like this are they?

Why on earth is having a co-host terrible?

rainbowmilk · 02/07/2022 12:08

@NumberTheory Because it’s a party for a pregnant woman, not the Oscars.

NumberTheory · 02/07/2022 14:43

rainbowmilk · 02/07/2022 12:08

@NumberTheory Because it’s a party for a pregnant woman, not the Oscars.

If you are planning a party for a friend, doing it with someone else (which is all co-hosting is, facetious comparison notwithstanding) is more fun and spreads the work out. Facetious comparisons don't actually change the nature of what hosts or co-hosts do.

This epitomizes one of the nasty sides of British culture.

Showers are supposed to be fun and generous parties thrown by friends for someone they like who they want to help out. Attended by other people who like the idea of helping out a mum-to-be. Yet so many Brits dismiss them as grabby ways for someone to take, take, take because they are resentful of the idea of being asked if they want to be nice to someone else.

Libre55 · 02/07/2022 14:53

I would just buy a pack of bibs or baby muslins. You can never have too many.

elp30 · 02/07/2022 15:24

mathanxiety · 29/06/2022 04:34

Baby showers are an old tradition in the US

They're not tacky or rude or attention seeking, and they're not bad luck.

They started as a way for the women of a frontier community to band together and welcome a new baby with practical items every baby needs - blankets, clothes, cradle, etc.

As time wore on and consumer goods became widely available, there were more shower gifts to choose from, and in order to prevent duplication and the bother of returning unwanted items, gift lists became a thing.

As with wedding gift lists, they tend to be handy and very practical and in the US a list usually includes items at all price points and also the choice to just send money. One of my penniless student DDs sent a cousin of hers a very inexpensive kitchen timer from her gift list for her wedding. It was paid for online and delivered along with a gift card.

As with many perfectly nice, practical American traditions, crossing the Atlantic eastbound seems to have resulted in many of the civilised and practical elements being lost overboard or misinterpreted - the wide price range that is common in American lists has not happened here, and the registry itself is being sniffed at for no good reason really except that it is considered rude or uncouth or grabby.

It's none of the above. It's time to drop the conceit that a gift is an optional extra and the pleasure of your presence is all that's needed. A shower is an occasion designed specifically to give items that are needed, and two or more guests clubbing together to get a more expensive item isn't at all untoward. Again, it's a matter of practicality.

Gift registries are practical, and if guests want to get someone something they really want, then a registry is the way to go. If guests want to wing it that's fine too, but maybe include a gift receipt sith your surprise gift, and ask yourself why you would feel OK with the waste of resources and impact on the environment your 'principled' stance involves, to say nothing of your time and the time it will take the recipient to return an unwanted item.

Thank you! That was very well-said!

I'm American and I'm used to the baby shower concept.

My English SIL loved the concept of a baby shower but didn't hold a party but made a list and TOLD PEOPLE what to buy her! That's definitely not how it's done. She called to inform me that she put me on the list to buy her something ridiculously impractical and for £50. £50 in 1996 was a lot of money.
THAT is the behavior I found absurdly "grabby" and probably why there's such a negative connotation for a "baby shower".

rainbowmilk · 02/07/2022 15:30

NumberTheory · 02/07/2022 14:43

If you are planning a party for a friend, doing it with someone else (which is all co-hosting is, facetious comparison notwithstanding) is more fun and spreads the work out. Facetious comparisons don't actually change the nature of what hosts or co-hosts do.

This epitomizes one of the nasty sides of British culture.

Showers are supposed to be fun and generous parties thrown by friends for someone they like who they want to help out. Attended by other people who like the idea of helping out a mum-to-be. Yet so many Brits dismiss them as grabby ways for someone to take, take, take because they are resentful of the idea of being asked if they want to be nice to someone else.

Show quote history

It’s probably because in the UK, there are too many mums organising their own showers and emphasising the need to be showered with gifts. We’ve clearly altered the tradition and if British people are negative about it then that’s why.

I’ve never seen anyone in this country complaining about a shower organised by a friend and a clear message that people being there is a sufficient present.

Beautiful3 · 02/07/2022 15:53

I'd gift a card with money. Only give what you can and want to. £10 would be fine. Last time I went to a baby shower, gave a £10 note with a pack of nappies.

mathanxiety · 03/07/2022 06:18

I’ve never seen anyone in this country complaining about a shower organised by a friend and a clear message that people being there is a sufficient present.

But that's not what a shower is!

It's hosted by family or friends of the mother to be. It is designed specifically to 'shower' her with gifts. It's not a get together, gifts optional.

And it's not grabby either, for all of the reasons explained by many posters here who know what they're talking about.

mathanxiety · 03/07/2022 06:28

Mathanxiety - baby showers have nothing to do with 'community spirit', they are private groups of people

Oh sweetest Jesus come and squeeze us...

@Momicrone
Community spirit can exist without a post code. A community is any group of people. I'm not talking about the welfare state here. A group of friends is a community.

rainbowmilk · 03/07/2022 09:54

mathanxiety · 03/07/2022 06:18

I’ve never seen anyone in this country complaining about a shower organised by a friend and a clear message that people being there is a sufficient present.

But that's not what a shower is!

It's hosted by family or friends of the mother to be. It is designed specifically to 'shower' her with gifts. It's not a get together, gifts optional.

And it's not grabby either, for all of the reasons explained by many posters here who know what they're talking about.

When it’s organised by the person wanting to receive the shower of gifts, it absolutely is. Things can be interpreted differently in different cultures. It’s not as simple as saying that it’s a good tradition in America and any other country is wrong to object to it as they clearly don’t understand it.

Redbone · 03/07/2022 10:04

Absolute CF. Oh boy do I hate baby showers for this reason.

Purple52 · 03/07/2022 23:12

Depends on the list!!
if it’s all practical and affordable. Then great!
might it’s all mega bucks gimmicks that parents soon discover are a complete waste of time & money, then no!!

saying that though , I still have tubs of sudocrem from my baby showers and they were 12 & 14 YEARS ago !!
now being used on teenage spots! 😂

i was given all useful consumables.

don’t think I ever bought baby shampoo/Vaseline/sudocrem or cotton wool !

mathanxiety · 04/07/2022 04:30

When it’s organised by the person wanting to receive the shower of gifts, it absolutely is.
...and in that case it is not a baby shower. It's a party in anticipation of a baby's birth. But it is not a baby shower.

Things can be interpreted differently in different cultures. It’s not as simple as saying that it’s a good tradition in America and any other country is wrong to object to it as they clearly don’t understand it

That's not what I said. That is not my criticism of the British approach to baby showers.

I said it seems that the British have failed to notice a vital element of the baby shower, namely, that the mother to be is the guest of honour, not the bloody hostess.

This isn't a matter of a different but acceptable interpretation, like Santa Claus (or should that be Father Christmas?) surfing onto the beach in Australia.

This is a case of changing the tradition completely and turning it ugly by so doing.

StoppinBy · 04/07/2022 04:52

JenniferWooley · 28/06/2022 23:55

Cheeky fuckers!

DD recently had a baby shower - I told DD that it was rude of her to send her aunt a link to the play mat she wanted when aunt asked if she needed anything for baby!

I'd have probably murdered her if she'd suggested having a gift list!!

That's not rude, it's helpful...........the Aunt asked, your daughter gave her an answer.

HeloiseM · 23/11/2022 17:12

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