Baby Shower Gift List

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CF'ery or not?

Unbelievable. I did a list as friends asked me, it was stuff like nappies and wipes and I'm grateful for everything I've been given, particularly handmade stuff, it's so lovely. But then we're trying to avoid spending too much money on things anyway, it seems so wasteful when there's perfectly good second hand items that have barely been used as babies don't need a lot of it for long.

I can’t wait for this to end up in the Daily Fail. Also, nice username OP
Oh and yes, absolutely CFery

Just grabby

Tell us what’s on the list. (Rubs thighs with gleeful anticipation)

I didn't have a baby shower as I didn't like the grabby nature of them. If people asked what I wanted for the baby, I gave a few ideas of varying costs and gradually my little list was purchased, but the vast majority gave the usual clothes, muslins, books. Which were very welcome and much used!

I can’t articulate why I loathe baby showers so much. I grew up going to see (family and friends) new mum and baby in hospital and taking a gift and card for them then, or popping in at home when they are home from the hospital. From personal experience, there was no chance I was having a baby shower/gender reveal/grabby gift list nonsense. My nearest and dearest surprised us with beautiful small gifts which they thought we would like, and I loved all of them. There were definitely no multiples of jellycat toys. I think, to me, baby showers seem heavily commercialised and may be part of why I don’t like them.

Aslong as they include a range of prices I don’t think it’s cf at all!
I would much rather get someone a gift they actually want and are going to use and if I was receiving the gifts I would much rather have something I needed. Nothing wrong with that, why would you want to buy someone something they don’t want/need?

I think a list would actually be really useful for this. As someone who just had a child, we had a lot of newborn (which they wear for a couple of weeks if you are lucky - leaving some stuff unworn) and a tonne of 0-3. A few 3-6 things but not that much (we have two day outfits).

I don’t think I would actually prescribe what people should buy because that’s half the fun of the baby shopping. But lists for people to tick to try to help distribute the outfits more along the age groups could be really really good.

Omg that's so rude!

Love your reply

Is it just me who would like nothing more than a room full of jellycat teddies?

Cheeky fuckers!

DD recently had a baby shower - I told DD that it was rude of her to send her aunt a link to the play mat she wanted when aunt asked if she needed anything for baby!

I'd have probably murdered her if she'd suggested having a gift list!!

A gift list is cheeky fuckery. Baby isn't going to give a shit about the brand of changing matt their arse is on.
Baby showers were not even a thing until not so long ago. A friend of mine had a baby shower (so grabby for gifts), then had a "meet & greet" after the birth.. with another gift list.

Calpol and Dr Beckmann carpet cleaner should be the only things on a baby shower gift list. Wild that they exist, tbh (the list, not the most important items a mother can own).

I’m old so I think baby showers are CF in themselves

Yup, me too.
Plus, there is something that makes me feel uncomfortable about giving a baby gift until the baby has arrived safely.
I like to go round and meet the baby after they are born, with a small token for them and usually something small for Mum too.

To satisfy my nosiness, would you be prepared to give us an idea of the price range of the items on the gift grab list?

Regrettably, I am unable to attend.

Is the cheeky fuckery coming directly from the mother-to-be or from the friend throwing the shower for her?

(See how I am assuming (possibly incorrectly) that friend is throwing the shower rather than the mother to be or her relatives? That is because if you have to have a shower, it should be thrown by someone unrelated in a vain attempt to avoid looking like a gift grab. Clearly too late in this case.)

Jesus! I've only been to one baby shower and the friend just said "please don't feel like you have to buy me anything I just think it'll be lovely for us all to be together." And it was!

You'd love my DD's room then! We were gifted 14 jellycat rabbits when she was born 🤣 we didn't mind in the slightest

But they’re not even “all the rage” here. She’s making that up to excuse her cheek.

Ugh god, I hate baby showers! My friends asked if they could host one for me recently and I flat-out said no thankyou!

I was invited to one where the mother-to-be hosted 2 baby showers for herself and had a Mamas and Papas gift list. Just gross.

Ooh I had a baby shower recently and sent a gift list b/c several people had asked what i wanted and before I researched myself id have had no clue what to buy and I always appreciate a gift list. I said no expectation of any presents and anything would be very welcomed including hand me downs but if people wanted ideas here's a list. Items priced from about £5. Was about 50/50 people bought off list v brought something totally different. I was super grateful for all. Two people brought 2nd hand things there children had used, again I was very grateful.

Baby showers are an old tradition in the US

They're not tacky or rude or attention seeking, and they're not bad luck.

They started as a way for the women of a frontier community to band together and welcome a new baby with practical items every baby needs - blankets, clothes, cradle, etc.

As time wore on and consumer goods became widely available, there were more shower gifts to choose from, and in order to prevent duplication and the bother of returning unwanted items, gift lists became a thing.

As with wedding gift lists, they tend to be handy and very practical and in the US a list usually includes items at all price points and also the choice to just send money. One of my penniless student DDs sent a cousin of hers a very inexpensive kitchen timer from her gift list for her wedding. It was paid for online and delivered along with a gift card.

As with many perfectly nice, practical American traditions, crossing the Atlantic eastbound seems to have resulted in many of the civilised and practical elements being lost overboard or misinterpreted - the wide price range that is common in American lists has not happened here, and the registry itself is being sniffed at for no good reason really except that it is considered rude or uncouth or grabby.

It's none of the above. It's time to drop the conceit that a gift is an optional extra and the pleasure of your presence is all that's needed. A shower is an occasion designed specifically to give items that are needed, and two or more guests clubbing together to get a more expensive item isn't at all untoward. Again, it's a matter of practicality.

Gift registries are practical, and if guests want to get someone something they really want, then a registry is the way to go. If guests want to wing it that's fine too, but maybe include a gift receipt sith your surprise gift, and ask yourself why you would feel OK with the waste of resources and impact on the environment your 'principled' stance involves, to say nothing of your time and the time it will take the recipient to return an unwanted item.

And a shower is never thrown by the guest of honour in the US.

It is organised and usually hosted by a friend or relative of the mother to be.

@MrsFionaCharming, your French sister in law is right.

The nose holding about baby showers is indeed ridiculously British.