Please tell me your positive stories of kids being split up in new classes

[Scottishmum1984]

Please help calm my anxiety by telling me some positive stories of your kids coping in new classes.

Child has been split up from her three best friends are all in class together for the last three years of primary school and by DD is by hersed She is beside herself and I am putting on a positive face in front of her, but feeling very worried myself. She is shy and lacks confidence. She does some out of school activities with the girls though. I can't do anything about it, school not interested. Does anyone have stories of your kids managing to maintain friendships despite being split up? I'm so worried about how lonely and isolated she will feel (she is 9 for context).

When my daughter was at primary school they often mixed up the classes and she wasn't with her friends. I did worry about it at the time but she was always fine. I actually think it did her good to sit next to different people. She is in year 10 now. I hope this helps.

Afraid not. 😞 This happened to my DS going into year 3. He never clicked properly with anyone in his new class, and his old friends carried on without him. Really wish I had made more of a fuss to the school.

Please only positive stories if possible, so sorry also for your DS but need to hear something good to stop my anxiety 😟

Happened to my dd in year 3/4. She quickly made friends with other girls and diversified her friendship group a lot. Stayed friends with original friends through out of school and whole year setting for maths and MFL

Happened to my son, he was moved into the higher class with 3 other children from his class. Work wise working with the older ones was great as it kept him challenged and interested, socially it was fine too, he still had playtime and lunch with his old class and maintained friendships even now with the boys from his usual class.

My DCs very good primary school do this regularly, it means they then know lots of people when they move up to secondary. I have 3DC (two at secondary now) and it's always been a positive experience and meant they have made more friends. The kids are always asked for a 2 or 3 friends they'd like to be with which helps with the transition, they always have at least 1 good friend with them.

Happened to my daughter going into Year 6 - she still remained friends with the other 3 out of school and made new friends very easily.

I was very worried about it at the time though.

Is there a reason they have split them up?

Thanks all, she’s ended up with no one, nice to hear stories of friendships remaining despite the split and they are such nice girls. Keep the positive stories coming please, all helps 🙏

My child’s class was mixed up several times. Teaching them resilience is good for them. I’d be worried she’s picking up
on your anxiety, not helpful..

@toomuchlaundry they said no reason, just the way the classes split by gender / ability etc. Massive school, 100 kids in the year. Bad luck the other pals are all together

Tell the school your daughter is anxious and you want her with her friends.
DS6 was moved away from his friends last September. He was streamed for phonics so did have a couple of friends in his group. The only positive is he is going to juniors in September and will definitely be with 1 or more friends in year 3 and I don’t think they mix the classes again.

@SafelySoftly im being really positive in front of her and saving my fears for when she’s asleep

My DD's class were split last year for the first time (Y5). She still often plays with girls from her old class and has made some new friends too. Good luck to your DD.

@Notwashingup I tried, I even cried on the phone (woops), they were not interested, classes all full and sorted now

It is a good thing.she needs to learn how to make new friends

Oh OP I have been there with my DC.

They were put in a different class to their 2 BFF when they were 7 & now, 2yrs on, the original class dynamic is disrupted and everyone is in new friendship groups. They are still friends and still go to parties together and ply at break etc, but it’s not the same - and it’s okay. Really.

By all means go to the school about it. You have nothing to loose. Seriously.

my DC also regularly sees 4 friends who moved on to new schools 4/5 yrs ago. It’s lovely when they have friendships outside of school & is something we work hard on maintaining because god knows they will need one another when high schools starts!

Oh and there are 150 per year, so even in a big school they still see their friends in the playground.

My very shy, very prone to having a single best friend dd has been separated from friends at the end of Y2, 3, 4 and I’m assuming they’ll mix up again at the end of Y5 this year. It’s always taken a few weeks to settle but has overall been a really good thing. She now actually has lots of friends and it will be helpful for going up to secondary. She’s going on a trip with only a selected bunch of children tomorrow and is friendly with all the ones from her year and confident about going. That wouldn’t have happened if she’d been allowed to stick with her original friend.

My dd went to a three form entry school and when she went into year three she was the only one from her class that was going to be in her new class. On transition day they went to registration in their current rooms and then they all went to the classes for next year and she had to walk over there alone.

Anyway, it was about fine. She settled right in and made lots of friends and of course she still had all her friends from her last class too who she saw in all the breaks. It ended up being a really good experience for her and when she went into,year four she was not even slightly concerned about who she was going to be with.

I don’t know why they do this these days, in my day you just had your class throughout primary school. Poor kid, and you, no wonder you are worried. I think it’s ok to let her grieve a bit, it’s likely she will make new friends but for now she understandably feels shit about it.

It happened to my 8yr old this year - she was separated from her 2 best friends. The teachers did it on purpose because they used to distract each other in class. Have you asked the school if there is a reason for the split?
I was really pleased with the outcome - my daughter has been more focused in class, still plays with the other two girls outside school, but has broadened her friendship group within school.

Not my DC but I still remember me and my best friend being separated at a similar time and how upset I was. It was actually fine in the end- we did go in slightly different directions and there was a rocky patch when she made some ‘cool’ new friends but I ended up making a lovely new friendship group. In our case I think it was actually a blessing in disguise as we had a very intense friendship and probably needed to branch out. We’re still friends (about 25 years later!) but only loosely.

so all is not lost!

We had a lot of upset last week after a big shake up re new classes (they'd been in the same class for 3 years as well), but its a good resilience builder + prepares them for further possible swaps in p7 and s1....where they may very well end up in a class that has absolutely no one from their primary school in it

@tall1234 that’s a shame. DS is in a class with 5 more girls than boys. As a result he got a few party invites and I’ve met some lovely parents I probably wouldn’t have, had he been with his old crowd. Maybe get a play date in the holidays with a few kids so your DD feels less shy in September. Good luck.