My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

What have been the positives of having a child for you?

110 replies

Icantgiveupcarbs · 26/06/2022 21:15

I'm well aware of the downsides, in terms of finances, sleep, free time, work. Etc. And they put me off the thought of having a child.
However there is still a part of me that would love a family, and I think my partner would too eventually.
I am 31 now, and would love to hear how having a child/children has enhanced your life.

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

19 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
21%
You are NOT being unreasonable
79%
GromblesofGrimbledon · 26/06/2022 21:19

My little 9 month old boy was pottering around the living room today dragging his favourite teddy around with him, smiling and shouting "bah bah bah bah" and nothing makes me happier.

Report
MolliciousIntent · 26/06/2022 21:21

My 2yr old is the funniest, most affectionate little gremlin known to man, she is so smart and so sweet and spending time with her is joyous.

My baby smiles whenever she sees me, and has just discovered her own feet, you have never seen anyone so happy, it's the best thing in the world.

Watching my husband become a father was like falling in love with him all over again.

Report
Mememene · 26/06/2022 21:22

There is a huge surge of unconditional love for this little bundle, there is no feeling like it.

The pride of everything they achieve like the first time they come home with 20/20 for their spelling tests, there is no pride like it for the small stuff.

Being a part of the football team mum's cheering them on as they play in the Under 7 8 9 10 etc teams on a Sunday morning.

As they grow, and end up taller than you, when they hug you and tell you they love you without you having to beg them for it.

When they tell you they are proud you're their mum.

The rewards of being a parent are priceless and makes up for the expense, sheer hard work and everything else that goes along with it.

Report
SquigglyOne · 26/06/2022 21:22

You get to experience a love like no other 💙

Report
SnackSizeRaisin · 26/06/2022 21:24

They are cute. You join a sort of in club of parents. You get to do fun things with your children and introduce them to new things. They are mostly really happy and joyful which is uplifting. You learn that everything you thought you knew about raising children was wrong and learn why parents let their kids watch loads of tv, eat snacks constantly etc. You get to buy and play with toys, cute little clothes etc.

You are not wrong about the downsides though. Many people find it extremely hard going in the early years. Relationships often break down. In hindsight I could have had a much more enjoyable life if I hadn't had them but I wouldn't have known that then.

Report
StrangelyAmbitious · 26/06/2022 21:25

My life now has purpose and the love for my child is like no other.

Report
Sienna9522 · 26/06/2022 21:27

The way the love just grows and grows as they get older. It’s indescribable, a love I’ve never felt before. The strong urge to protect. The pride I feel watching them achieve. It’s hard and my life will never be the same as it was before kids, but personally I think it’s worth it.

Report
tiredmumma8696 · 26/06/2022 21:28

Looking at them and thinking, I made those beautiful people

Report
HSKAT · 26/06/2022 21:29

As cheesy as it sounds my son is my best friend.
We have loads of fun, he makes me laugh everyday.
Hearing his good morning mummy everyday always makes my tired self smile.

I have learnt patience, true love (yes I love my partner etc but this is another level and different love) and not to take life too seriously.
Kids are the best at making you realise not to dwell on the small things.

Report
imsoexcitedijustcanthideit · 26/06/2022 21:30

Imagine loving someone so much that you happily give up your sleep, money, body etc for them. It is such a privilege to be their parent and you would do absolutely anything for them ❤️

Report
Sienna9522 · 26/06/2022 21:31

Also, they’re bloody hilarious. My 5 year old is priceless. The one liners and her innocence. I love it. Even my newborn makes me laugh, her little facial expressions. It’s honestly great.

Report
Darbs76 · 26/06/2022 21:32

Having 3 children I love with all my heart. I’d have never known a love like it otherwise. All grown up or almost and now we have a great relationship, go travelling etc. They’ve never caused me any trouble, even as teens. It’s not all awful

Report
Icantgiveupcarbs · 26/06/2022 21:33

These are great replies, thanks!

OP posts:
Report
Skinterior · 26/06/2022 21:33

Brace yourself Grin. I never knew what 'die for you' love felt like until I had my son. I completely respect my non-parent friends and family but secretly I think they are missing out.

Report
HRTQueen · 26/06/2022 21:33

Purpose and direction in life

to be able to give so much love and to feel so loved

no one tells you how much they shall make you laugh 🥰

Report
SnackSizeRaisin · 26/06/2022 21:34

StrangelyAmbitious · 26/06/2022 21:25

My life now has purpose and the love for my child is like no other.

See this depends on whether your life currently has purpose. If it does, having a young child basically stops you doing much else other than work or household chores for several years so your life may end up feeling like it has less purpose. Even work opportunities may be less as you can't really stay late or go away on works trips easily.

Similar with the previous poster who said it was great watching her 6 year old play football every Sunday. Personally I find it more rewarding to do my own hobby than live through my child. I think it all depends on what you enjoy doing, whether you can still do it with a child in tow, how much of a family person you are. If you mainly go shopping and see family in your free time, having a child will be great as they will make that stuff more fun. If you go away a lot and are quite physically active, or have ambitions career wise, having a young child (or especially more than one) is quite claustrophobic.

Report
Fleur405 · 26/06/2022 21:34

When your baby smiles at your for the first time it is pretty much the best thing in the whole world.

Report
TildaRae · 26/06/2022 21:34

Feeling love that is incomparable to anything else. The milestones that fill you with joy and pride, being the whole world to someone. Watching them grow and develop every day, their little personalities coming into their own.

Report
MrsTeaShore · 26/06/2022 21:35

Giving my life a purpose and a motivation . Marvelling in firstly growing a baby inside you and being proud of your body for doing that and then marvelling at the people they become. Giving you the opportunity to be silly and childish again yourself , all over again! Sharing the world with them from little day to day things to showing them different countries and cities. Although it’s definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done I wouldn’t change it. Having kids also helped me deal with work better as it put things into perspective more . And even though they were small and unaware my children massively helped me get through other difficult life events like parents dying . So I really couldn’t imagine life without them.

Report
2020firsttimemum · 26/06/2022 21:35

This is so lovely to see 🤍

There are so many wonderful things. Their laugh is just the best sound in the world. The way they wrap their little arms around you for a cuddle. When they say mummy or daddy for the first time. Making memories and seeing their faces light up at new experiences / sounds and sights
Their unconditional love for YOU.

It's hard work but it really is special

Report
GreenLeavesRustling · 26/06/2022 21:35

My God, everything. I adore my three. Two are teens now - they are kind, helpful, hilarious, brilliant company. My little is seven, still needs me for hand holds and gives the best hugs.

i’ve been really lucky in love and in my career, but my kids are absolutely the most favourite part of my life and the best thing I have ever done.

Report
RedPandaFluff · 26/06/2022 21:35

It's reeeeeeeally hard but my god when they giggle and laugh it's the sweetest sound. When they're happy, you're happy. And you see the world through their eyes - it gives you a newfound wonder for things. Brings back some innocence and optimism. They're just amazing Smile

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

KatieKat88 · 26/06/2022 21:37

That moment when they first say 'I love you Mummy' completely unprompted - genuinely nothing else like it, like your heart will burst! Sharing those moments with DH bonds us so much (and gets you through the snappy, tired, mundane moments you have with each other)

Report
SmellyWellyWoo · 26/06/2022 21:39

Unconditional love.

Report
Onlyforcake · 26/06/2022 21:40

I'm not a positive person. I'm also not in a great place mentally, a huge understatement. BUT I genuinely have my children as a reason to live. It's a connection that is hugely powerful. They've become my core reference for decisions, plans, hopes.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.