What have been the positives of having a child for you?

[Icantgiveupcarbs]

I'm well aware of the downsides, in terms of finances, sleep, free time, work. Etc. And they put me off the thought of having a child.
However there is still a part of me that would love a family, and I think my partner would too eventually.
I am 31 now, and would love to hear how having a child/children has enhanced your life.

Mine are 11 and 9. The main positive is the love I have for them and being so loved by them in return. Another huge thing for me is having this focus in life now. I know my priority is to raise them and care for them. Everything else in my life is secondary. Before I had children I was a bit of an aimless drifter so it's a real positive to have this sense of purpose now. Each stage so far has had its own challenges but also its own rewards. I just enjoy having my own little family. I have this sense that we're a team and we're going through life together sharing some amazing times, and of course some difficult times.

Was never ever a maternal type OP and stumbled into parenthood at age 28 - it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never really "liked" kids or other people's offspring so thought it would be an awful struggle. Seriously though every single day DC has been in my life has been a day that I count as a blessing. You cannot describe the freedom of unconditional love that you have for another being unless you have experienced it. You become less self-centred, worry less (about your own life, dreams and foibles) and embrace something that is truly beyond your expectations. It is very very weird freedom that has drawbacks -financial, emotional and social - but in my opinion it is unique to anything ever felt before. Not that it comes immediately - it builds and builds and over the days, months and years. That said it's not for everyone and I wold never say it is better than anything that exists (pre-child) - it is just phenomenally different to how you experience life pre-child.

I love being a parent (I have 3) for many many reasons. It’s basically like having really wonderful friends who live with you and love you intensely. My kids are so funny and kind and smart and beautiful. I’m in awe of them and love spending time with them.

It’s also been an experience full of personal growth. You get such a sense of purpose and fulfilment. They shine a light on all the bits of you you weren’t aware of. Some of these can be tricky to process or hard to accept but it’s made me a better person to recognise them. Other bits have been lovely to discover the silliness and joyful enthusiasm, the extreme selflessness I didn’t know I was capable of. They have made me a better person and I have years of growing along side them ahead of me.

But mostly they’re just really fun. Grown up life can get so boring and predictable. I love the chaos my kids have brought and the way they’ve forced me to really connect with the wider world around me.

The sleeplessness at the start totally sucks though. It is really really hard. But then it passes. 🙂

Nothing else in the world compares. It's a love like no other - instinctive, overwhelming, unconditional and the deepest connection you will ever feel with another human being. Human race would not have survived otherwise. It can be undeniably hard and relentless but I would choose my children over all the riches and amazing experiences in the world (also, I am cringing as I typing this but it is true ).

When you love them so much you want to laugh and cry at the same time.

When I'm with mine I'm either pulling my hair out or I'll catch myself and realise I've been walking around/sitting with the biggest smile on my face because I love them so much,find them so adorable and hilarious, and am so proud of them.

Sitting here with a little tear running down my cheek. Half an hour ago I was in the midst of the bedtime battle and was tearing my hair out...

When they say day mama for the first time or run to you smiling when you get home from work or put their little arms up in the air to be picked up for a cuddle or when they rest their heads on your shoulder. The delight they take in things around them that as adults we take for granted. The list is endless. I never knew how much I wanted children until I lost several. Now I'd have a 100 more if I could. It's the most life affirming and amazing thing I'll ever do. Being a mother is a gift, a privilege. Yes I have no sleep, no time, no money. But I wouldn't go back in time for anything

What everyone else said . I am not maternal. But when my 8 month old daughter sits in my lap and looks up at me expectantly because she knows I’ll give her lots of little kisses… there’s nothing like it. I have a four year old and twins, it’s hard sometimes but there is so much love.

Lots of ways can't count but it's been hugely fun doing childish things again! Christmas became magical again.
Theme parks!.
Dolls houses,water guns.... keeping renewed..

I get to hang out with two of the funniest most interesting adults I ever met, get to go to places I'd never go otherwise and hear opinions and perspectives I'd never have thought of. I learn so much and experience even more.
I go on holidays to places I'd never have thought to visit, am introduced to bands I'd not have discovered and am surrounded by youth and energy and fun. I'm loved and valued and respected, and full of happiness and pride.
The last 30 years have not always been easy, I worked hard and made some sacrifices, but I'm getting immeasurably more back than I put in.

Having children gives a deeper meaning to my life. I like being part of the thread of life and knowing it moves forwards.
They are both wonderful people, they bring light, humour and a different perspective to my life. My eldest has literally saved my life a couple of times.

You know there isn’t a right or wrong answer to this, OP. All I can say is that while I’d still be happy child-free, being a Mum has hugely enhanced my life. So for me, it was the right choice.

My two are teenagers now and interesting people to spend time with. One thing to consider is that those early years are the shortest part of parenting, you’ll know them as adults for the majority of your life!

I’ve sometimes felt grumpy about the demands on my time, but most of that is in the past now.

Could

Same here. It is a gift and a privalige but I'm my family there are fertility issues and I was told I would struggle..
I can't understand how some people take it so much for granted?

Why it's not respected either.
Unfortunately When I fell accidently pregnant with dd although I was 90% sure i was keeping her we still discuss abortion.
We could have gone down that route, that would have been the cheeper easier route for sure.

I don't know or understand what's happening to the whole ideas of motherhood or being a mother.

The overwhelming sense of love and pride that I get every single day just from looking at my son. He’s nearly 6. Every evening at around this time I get the urge just to climb into bed with him and snuggle him. He has SEN and parenting him is not easy (he’s a delight but every day is a seemingly endless mountain of paperwork and beaurocracy) but he is the best and most wonderful thing in the world.

I have a 4 year old and twins too! It's simultaneously the hardest and best thing I've ever done!

I am very very very busy, no time to get bored. I have 3!! Very busy

What a wonderful thread. Thanks, OP.

So many positive, life affirming stories. Many of them have bought a tear to my eye (although I am v v emotional at the moment!)

I’m pregnant with my first in my forties and never wanted children before now. Decided to have one with DH and although v v excited about being a mother, some of the posts about how hard motherhood is on MN are terrifying! I’m a positive person but I have warned DH that we have to brace ourselves for a shitstorm 😬

I’m going to keep coming back to this thread because fundamentally, all of this lovely stuff is what being a mother is all about ❤️

Just love really. I just love him. I can hold him to me and just feel a massive rush of love, it blows my mind.

and I was on the fence about having children and am the least soppy person in the world.

I don't get what you're trying to say here? Abortion is a valid choice for any pregnancy and obviously if it was unplanned it was up for discussion! Not a fan of the low-key shaming here.

I have 2 children who are now 18 and 16.
Each phase in their lives has had it's good bits and bad bits but I honestly can't imagine my life without them.

I now look at these young adults that I've helped to mould and I marvel at them. They're kind, loyal, strong-willed, hard-working and basically a joy to be with.

Of course they drive me crazy sometimes (my daughter's room is always a mess and my son is really disorganised) but they're just brilliant.

I can't wait to see what their futures will hold.

For me it's watching this tiny human that relies solely on you feeding loving and caring for it and seeing all that hard work pay off as they give you their first smile, roll, crawl, walk, words and come into their own little personalities. My life is different now my priority is my child which makes me have amazing experiences and even become a kid myself again by reliving some of my positive childhood memories with my own children. I cannot imagine life without my children now they are my absolute world.

i also know that I’m a much nicer person since having children! Being a Mum seemed to unlock a capacity for love and positivity in me that was only reserved for a few people before. It’s helped me both friendship and even work-wise…I think I give off nicer vibes.😂

The fact that two years in we can already share humour and spent half an hour in stitches giggling hysterically at each other before his bedtime tonight.

Watching him develop empathy, and stroke my face and tell me it's okay and kiss me if I (pretend) to be upset that he's knocked my tower down .

It's so hard, hardest thing I've ever done, but I wouldn't trade it. Ever.

I get to see a cute little cuddle monster call me mummy and give me cuddles.

I can't really describe the love. But love is the answer.

My21 year old is the most amazing, kind, intelligent and funny man child.Ive been a single parent most of his life. Hes given me the strength to fight and he has been there every step of the way. He is the pillar that keeps me standing

I used to suffer really badly with anxiety and depression but since having my DS I have this real sense of complete calm and harmony that I've never felt before. And a new best friend who loves me like no one else and makes me laugh and smile all the time. He is our angel 😇