What have been the positives of having a child for you?

[Icantgiveupcarbs]

I'm well aware of the downsides, in terms of finances, sleep, free time, work. Etc. And they put me off the thought of having a child.
However there is still a part of me that would love a family, and I think my partner would too eventually.
I am 31 now, and would love to hear how having a child/children has enhanced your life.

Another one who was not maternal but had DC because I was content to and knew DH was very keen. And they have blown me away. I take so much pleasure (90% of the time!) from their company, I am significantly less selfish (both with them and with the wider world where I volunteer more) and the things that used to make me unhappy have become just another thing in life because I have my family. DH more than pulls his weight which means I don’t feel I’ve had to compromise more than he has (and yes, we’ve both made compromises of various kinds) which I think helps enormously.

Everything and nothing, a hug, a joke, when they admit I’m right, random conversations, that they still want to spend time with us, the tears, 6 short texts instead of one, unexpected FaceTime call, giving them a lift, them cooking dinner, teaching them, learning from them. I love it all.

Well just her in herself first of all. Shes this amazing little person who I'm so lucky to have in my life. She's 2 next month and absolutely can be a total tantrumming nightmare too, but she is also incredibly loving, really funny, smart as anything, determined and a born entertainer. It's brilliant watching her interests and personality traits develop, noticing the things that are like either me or DH and the things that are uniquely herself.

The love, the pride, the cuddles are amazing. Her language has just exploded recently and we are starting to be able to have more little chats with her putting more words together- the way she puts things and gets round the words she doesn't know is just brilliant. Being the one who understands what she's on about because I know her best is special too.

It's brought me closer to some extended family members and definitely to neighbours actually. I feel more engaged in the local community and have made some good friends because of dd - not necessarily 'mum friends' but yes those too.

I'm more motivated to take care of myself. We do far more with our weekends now (though less with our evenings it's true). I'm more discerning about how I want to spend my more limited free time, and I've had to learn to be far more organised.

Watching DH become a dad and seeing their own little relationship develop. Have to say parenting has tested our relationship like nothing else but it has also made me appreciate him more too.

Oh and Bluey.

A love like you have never felt before

Pride you can’t imagine

The opportunity to do loads of fun things and go to places and watch them light up

They brighten the little moments up- we sang in the rain on the way to school this morning and they danced with their umbrellas

Yesterday my 5 year-old weed in a cup while in the bath and then tricked me into putting my hand in it. He was so impish and proud of himself that I actually found it funny. You don’t get that sort of life experience without kids!

It like having a house haunted by friendly ghosts (sometimes)

My piano starts to randomly play itself when I'm not in the room and it's the most lovely haunting music.

The sounds of laughter echoing from distant rooms.

Sometimes who walk into the kitchen and someone else has loaded the dishwasher.

The sounds of heated debate about the rules of the sword fighting game they're playing in the garden.

Plus
Cuddling and watching tv
Technical support on how to play video games.
Heated debates about A Level politics
Someone to play board games with

I agree also with the comments about bringing you closer to other family. My relationship with PILs (lovely people) is much more profound since we had our son. On the flip side, it does make the loss of my own parents before he was born a little bit harder to bear, when I think how they never knew him.

I used to be very career oriented but having children has made me realise there are much more important things in life. I guess it's a feeling of a sense of purpose.

When they come up to you and randomly give you a hug and say "I love you". The way they get the biggest smile on their face when they see you come through the door after being at work. Some of the small things they do that you didn't think you could be proud of but when they do it you are - figuring out that a sock goes on your foot, when they learn how to draw something resembling a person for the first time, when they learn how to use a straw to have a drink. It's all silly little things but they make me so proud of them.

The times when they're kind without being prompted - my 3 yo DC will go get a tissue if she sees her brother crying or if he has a snotty nose. She used to sit behind him when he was a baby and learning how to sit up so he wouldn't fall back and hurt himself. That sort of stuff is amazing.

Watching my daughters grow into these amazing adults. Becoming friends as well as mother/daughter. Loving people more fiercely than ever possible. My ds teaching me to be the best version of my self. I assume if you don't want children you wouldn't feel the loss but for me I would feel incomplete without them.

I think having children has made me a nicer person. It’s made me more patient. The whole experience has also taken me down a peg or two and made me a lot more tolerant and less judgmental of others.