What have been the positives of having a child for you?

[Icantgiveupcarbs]

I'm well aware of the downsides, in terms of finances, sleep, free time, work. Etc. And they put me off the thought of having a child.
However there is still a part of me that would love a family, and I think my partner would too eventually.
I am 31 now, and would love to hear how having a child/children has enhanced your life.

Maybe a strange thing to say. I had a bad childhood myself, having kids has helped me heal.

all the love I wanted when I was little, I found somewhere to have that now, to give it to them.

I love my little ones more than I ever believed I could love anything, more than I knew love could exist.

my oldest (3) is big enough to have conversations with and talk to about stuff she likes, and it fills me with so much joy. I love putting her into bed and hearing about stuff she is thinking about (elsa from frozen, picking the raspberries, going on the bus etc). I’m so optimistic about all the lovely things we will do together. It keeps getting better and better as they get bigger.

im so glad I had babies. It’s such hard work at times, but it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Good luck, I was very similar to you. The newborn stage was hard but there was joy there too. DH went back to work when the baby was just two weeks and from that day I made a big effort to get out at least to the coffee shop or something, and he’s now a very smiley happy baby who loves seeing new things and new people and I was lucky because I never felt ‘trapped’ at home with him. That first three months was a bit relentless and of course exhausting but when they smile and engage with you it starts to give you back your mojo for it, and that doesn’t take too long to reach. Mine is ten months now and had his first day at nursery tomorrow 😭😭 but he’s an absolute little gem of a person and I feel so lucky to have him.

never felt a love like it. My daughter said “mummy you’re the best!” And it made me cry today. They can be exhausting but I would not be without them.

That's such a lovely post. You have the son you deserve.

My DC are a lifelong dream come true. The love I have for them is like no other. They are my wee best friends - so funny, so clever and so cute. Doesn't mean that it isn't bloody hard work sometimes but it's so worth it. They really are my reason for getting up in the morning - literally too!

This is a lovely thread to read. I feel like my 9mo DS is pure magic, his giggle is the sweetest sound. When he smiles and reaches out for me I feel like I could burst with love ❤️

Thank you 😊

All the best for your son’s first day at nursery tomorrow!!

This is soooo lovely and has made me well up again!

Because in 25 years time you get grandchildren telling you they love you the most ever too.

I have never loved someone so completely. He drives be absolutely insane most of time 😂but I wouldn’t be without him for one single second. Hearing him say mama and learning new words (he’s 2) and exploring/learning new things each day is amazing to watch/participate in. He was singing in the car today and I turned the music down carefully so I could just listen to him. I could of cried which is silly I know. I’m proud and honoured that I get to be his mama. X

The main positive is that I've created a completely new person who is totally awesome, who I love and who loves me.

They have given me everything, more than I could have ever imagined. I always say to my other half if I died tomorrow I'd die happy knowing that I bought these 2 amazing girls into the world. They have made me a better person and forced me to change myself into a better person which I didn't even think I needed to be! I'll be forever grateful for them.

Mine are 10 and 17 now. I'm so proud of them. They are the best thing I've ever done, hands down.

Life becomes hard, unpredictable but lived in technicolour. It would have been too comfortable if I did not have dcs and I would have retired early. Now I work till I drop but it is for a bigger cause. i have had to push myself and find resources within me even when running on empty. Dcs are my life's work. It is as if 30 years of my life goes by in a flash. It is a privilege.

Don’t always believe the ‘bad press’ of the newborn on here. You will be exhausted and you will cry but they are still beautiful little bundles and you will miss how you used to marvel at their teeny little features.
And for a lot of the worst bits you will be too tired to form real lasting memories anyway, that takes some brain function 🤣

Was talking to a friend about this earlier & we agreed that once you have a child it's like all the minor stresses of life seem to pale to some extent.

Examples I have are things like feeling stressed/anxious at work - I just think what's the worst that can happen, is my DD alive and healthy - if the answer is yes in the grand scheme of things nothing else matters.

That's not to say that things aren't stressful at times but the main thing is that I have her and she's ok, so everything else, no matter how bad it may seem can be sorted some way or another.

The love that I feel for my DC is indescribable.

My toddler is hilarious at times and makes laugh so much. Their faces when they see you. You are their world. It's amazing.

Watching my DH become a fantastic dad and the bond he has with our child is incredible. It's made me love him even more.

Yes it's bloody hard at times but the best bits outweigh that massively.

Routine and stability - I'm not saying I was "unstable" or anything before, but I mean I just generally now have a very organised life now because I have to, for my child.

I have a very settled sleep / wake pattern because I need to go to bed early to be up with my child in the morning, and I think in general I sleep much better now because every day is kind of the same - I'm not having long lie ins or crazy late nights anymore that would get me out of sync pre child. I have a good, healthy routine now. I keep on top of all the household jobs because I have to. Because someone needs me to. When I was single and lived alone it was like..."well I won't bother doing the washing up tonight I'll do it tomorrow, or I'll do the laundry when I have zero clothes left". And I guess I was lazy, and that led to feeling a bit rubbish and unorganised sometimes pre-child. I feel a lot more like I'm living a useful, organised life now. I have to, for my child. It kind of gave me a kick up the bum to organise my shit. I feel happier because my life is more organised and my days have good structure. I enjoy all the little outings we go on together and days out. I get more sunshine and fresh air I think. I eat healthily because I'm cooking healthily for her. I sing. I dance about every day. I find the joy in small things, because she does. I take very much joy from seeing her having a nice time. I love showing her things. I love hearing her opinions on the world, because they are so pure and wonderful. She makes me laugh a lot. She looks to me for her answers; it gives me purpose and makes me feel like I can pass on all the knowledge I've learned over the years to someone else. I love the friends I have made through us both having children. They really are dear, true friends that I've made, and the support network of being part of the local community has been brilliant. Life transforming.

Their feet, absolutely adore their feet and could eat them. Just love their cheesy toes!

6yr old DD gave me the biggest cuddle tonight as I put her to bed, and announced that she loves every single bit of me, "even the bogeys".

2yr old DS has a smile that literally breaks his face in half and has recently learnt sharing makes me happy so will shove his half eaten food in my face to "share". Gross, but the cutest.

It's the small things that make it all worth it

My middle child is just starting to suddenly 'get' reading and sounding things out. Today she filled a page with
'I love mummy'
'I love beef'
She's never had beef. She just figured it out and it made me happy to see her happy.
This type of anecdote is seriously dull unless it's your own child and you can appreciate the giddy silly joy from the most bizarre things.
Thats one of the best things, random joy about almost nothing

So obviously there’s all the love like you’ve never felt before stuff, which has been widely covered on this thread. But for me I found it hard to visualise that before having kids, so I’ll
tell you about the other positive stuff kids have brought to my life.

I have a whole new friendship group, of wonderful women who support each other and share the highs and lows of life. Some of them have moved away now but we still meet up and when we do our children go off and play together and we catch up and it’s golden.

I’ve changed my whole career because being on maternity leave made me realise I’m not really suited to an office job. So now I work in a special needs primary school and love it. Thinking about PGCE or training to be a speech therapist.

I have soooo much respect and admiration for my body and appreciate it so much after giving birth and nourishing 3 kids. I feel so much more strong and hardcore and capable and confident than before I had kids. I look back at things like how I couldn’t sleep if I hadn’t put lip balm on and laugh so much at how high maintenance I used to be.

I do sometimes look back on life prechildren wistfully (like when I’m ill and have to keep going) but I never regret my choice to have them. Ever.

To have my two little people say to me "mummy i love you the most in the whole wide world" is my greatest achievement. Everything else is secondary

Everything!

To feel the love so strong for them it's amazing! No other feeling like it. I would die for my children no hesitation and that is an amazing love.
To hear them say 'i love you mummy'
To watch them grow, and learn and becoming wonderful people

My children give me more joy than I could have ever imagined. I love them from the bottom of my heart and they give my life meaning. They are wonderful human beings and I love watching them grow.

I love sitting by the fire with them watching a movie. I love reading with them at bedtime. I love going for bike rides and seeing them smile. I love hearing about their day at school, their friends, their developing interests. I love being a family (my 2 DC and my lovely DH) and going to the seaside, or walking a hill, or going to the cinema and just 'being' with people I love.

It's amazing being a mum. I love (nearly) every second of it. Wouldn't change it for the world

What this op says about her husband is so true. Obviously I loved my husband but seeing him be a dad to our 1 year old son makes me love and appreciate him so much more

Also when my son sees me he gets so excited and his gorgeous smile makes my heart melt