To let my 10yr old go on a day out with a friends family?

[MavisMonkey]

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or DH is.

Last week my 10 yr old DS was invited to a birthday day out for one of his best friends. DS friend's family will be taking the birthday boy, my son and one other friend along on a day out- think something like a theme park, visiting a tourist attraction kind of thing. We are not invited as the parents, just the kids. The venue is around a 50 minute drive from where we live and they will be out all day- DS is getting picked up at 11 and likely dropped back at around 7pm.

For context the kids have been friends for the last few years so I only know the other family in so much as that our kids are friends, the parents don't stay when the kids come round to each other's houses and we don't socialise together - so I guess they are friendly acquaintances to us more than anything.

When my DS was invited I thought it sounded like a lovely day, DS was super keen to go and so I agreed, sorted all the arrangements etc. All good until last night when my DH got wind of the exact details of the day out and he had a major problem with our DS going.

He is super uncomfortable with our DS being driven on a long journey and then being under the care / supervised all day by "strangers". He says how do we know these people will watch him properly? How do we know they won't drink drive etc? He doesn't want me to cancel it but has basically said he will be worried sick and anxious all day until DS returns home.
I think he's being ridiculously OTT and this is part of growing up and something we have to deal with as parents. He thinks I should never have agreed this as our DS is too young.

So basically the AIBU is:
YABU: I am too lax in my parenting and should not have allowed my DS to join this day out.
YANBU: DH is overreacting and it is reasonable to let a 10 yr old to join his friends family on a day out.

I think he’s over reacting; unless there was any reason not to trust the parent and I’m guessing you know them at least vaguely

YANBU. your dh is over reacting

I can’t see the vote thing but YANBU

He's being daft. It's quite normal especially for only children to 'take a friend' for company on family days out.

Should just add I've taken my friends kids up to London. Much younger thats a day trip and lots of stuff could have gone wrong. But it's always been fun enjoyable days.

Also taken them to theme parks from age 8 and upward.

This is a perfectly normal activity for a 10year old .Days out with friends are normal for birthdays, I am surprised this hasn’t come up already . I understand it’s hard if your dh is anxious but His anxiety should not be allowed to curtail your sons independence.

We all have irrational things in our heads when it comes to our kids but this seems a bit extreme of him. Is your DH normally so uptight? I think you did the right thing allowing him to go if he wanted to.

He is completely over reacting. It’s part of growing up and your dh better come to terms with it because once your ds goes to secondary it’s likely he will be sleeping over at friends houses and you won’t even know who their parents are.

Your DH is being utterly ridiculous. Tbh I’m surprised you haven’t come across this earlier - your DS will be at secondary school soon! Going somewhere with a friend’s family at 10 is a perfectly normal activity.

Completely normal thing to do. Your DH is being very unreasonable.

Complete overreaction on DHs part. He is 10, not 5 yrs old. I'd have no issue with it. Even for my 8yrs old. I'd be more tentative with my 5yrs old.

Absolutely usual, my 10yo dd was taken to the Harry Potter experience by one of her friends for his 10th birthday. I just provided a booster seat as they didn’t have a spare, and enjoyed a quiet day!

YANBU sounds like a lovely day out.

2 parents, 3 kids (who I assume are all 10) . I really cannot see a problem?

Is your DH this over reactive and OTT in general?

Your son needs to start the journey to being an independent adult. How does your DH envisage this happening if he’s not allowed out of your sight? This is normal.

YANBU. This is the age were they should be gaining more independence and relying to an extent on their own initiative. Build this over the year before he goes to high school. You can't let your DH's anxiety get in the way.

Yanbu and your dh is really being a twitwe used to do this kind of thing for our dds birthdays I'd be offended if the other parents thought I cocouldn't look after their kid !

I thought this was normal. We drove ds amd three friends 50 miles to a paintballing day out when he was 10. Never occurred to me that other parents might be uncomfortable with it!

YANBU. DH is being a twat.

Lots of children do this. My DD went on holiday with her friend and their family at that age. What's he so worried about?

Your DH is being unreasonable.

Feeling a bit anxious about it is one thing (up to a point). I'm sure many of us experience fleeting anxiety at the thought of our kids being driven by other people, for example. It's normal, we are wired to protect our kids. Wanting to act on that anxiety when there is no rational basis for it is not OK.

This is a perfectly normal part of childhood.
Your dh is being absurd.

Unless he knows the parents drink-drive he needs to relax. Perhaps he should spend more time at the school gate/Saturday morning football etc which is where you meet other parents and get to know them!

He’s really being ott.
I’ve taken my dc’s mates all over the place and barely know the parents and vice versa from a younger age.

Total overreaction! Mine have been doing this with friends since 6/7, one especially brave mum took 7 10 year olds to a theme park the other week 😳-that would be a stretch even for me.

Does he never go anywhere without you or DH?

Sounds great. It's more fun when your child is with a friend. Yes he's overreacting. Do you know the friend/parents?