Boyfriends daughter and nits

[Wowowowowow]

My boyfriends daughter who is 6 is covered in nits. My boyfriend is in denial that she has them yet I can clearly see them on top of her head. I've tried showing him and he's like where I can't see them. He won't let me comb her hair. My daughter who is 8 had two massive lice in her hair after we saw them at the park but no eggs. I treated her hair and my hair in case there was anymore. She didn't have them the day before. This is really putting me off the relationship but everything else is so lovely. How can someone not know their kids have so many nits? He doesn't treat them properly as I've seen him treat it before and doesn't thoroughly comb and doesn't section her hair. I've tried showing him but he won't have it. The mother isn't around she lost custody of the kids in case anyone was wondering what the Mum did about the nits. Would you leave someone for not treating nits properly? I kinda class it as slight neglect. I don't know. I haven't seen them since because I don't want my daughter to get them again. This was start of the week. I made an excuse not to see them this weekend. He moaned at me yesterday on the phone because someone else pointed out the nits too to him and he was like she doesn't have any yet I know she does.

It is neglect. I'd walk away

Also does anyone know if there's anything I can do about it? I feel sorry for his daughter.

If she is 6 and in school, please call the school. The school nurse can examine her and they can insist on treatment. If he can't see them, I would recommend an eye exam for him.

This is appalling. The poor child. Can you offer to treat her yourself (not that you should have to) to prove to him they are there?

In my city a 10 year old recently died from neglect and was found covered in lice. Tucson AZ if anyone wants to Google. In no way shape or form am I saying your dp would do this. I just hate to think of a child being uncomfortable and not treated.

That is so sad. Sounds like he can't be bothered to sort it out and that is neglectful. Poor little girl. Personally, I'd be blunt with him and say "I've told you she has nits, so has someone else. It's not right that you're ignoring the problem. You need to deal with it properly as it's not fair on your DD. We won't be seeing you until it's been fully treated." If you don't get a good answer I'd highlight your concerns to her school - it's a safeguarding concern, lack of support with hygiene.

He's not a keeper.
You don't want to be around someone who cares so little for his DDs comfort that he can't be bothered to nit comb Nor respond when another parent says they can see an infestation of nite in his child's hair. She must be so uncomfortable & itchy

Personally, I'd be blunt with him and say "I've told you she has nits, so has someone else. It's not right that you're ignoring the problem. You need to deal with it properly as it's not fair on your DD. We won't be seeing you until it's been fully treated."

This ^^

Tbh I would cut ties with him as well as he will be neglectful in other ways too and I wouldn't want that around my child nor my life.

And I'd call school and tell them and that her dad is ignoring it. They'll notice soon enough in the classroom. There will be a nit outbreak

Many years ago my when my DD was about 12 she kept getting nits, as fast as I got rid of them she got them again. Then one day when she was at my house I noticed her best friend was absolutely riddled with them, I asked her if she wanted me to go through her head with my 'special comb' (nitty gritty had just been invented) for literally hours she sat there and let me go through her head, when we were done she gave me a hug and cried, I asked her why she was crying, she replied she has her mum, dad, sisters etc and I was the first person to ever care enough about her to go through her hair for her. She knew she had them, she'd tried to get them out herself and had asked for help but got none.

I took her home and told her mum what I had done, thankfully I didn't get slated for overstepping but if I had I'd have let rip, kids gets nits, it happens, kids being riddled constantly imo is neglect

I hope your bfs little one isn't going to be crying in someone else's lounge in years to come.

Please don't give up on her, keep on at him, speak to the school, health visitor, or social services, maybe now someone else has spoken to him he might let you show him how to comb her hair, Thank you for caring about her 💐

you need to show him the article of the girl who died from having nits, They can cause severe iron deficiency. Nits are very simple to sort out so no point leaving them in there, she will get severely bullied if people find out as well as it being dangerous.

His daughter, his problem.
dump his sorry arse.

School nurse?

I don't understand. Is he mentally OK? How can he deny it if you are showing him they are there? And if someone else has pointed them out? What's his reasoning?

What do you think is happening here....

Is he neglectful?
Does he have poor eyesight?
Does he have mental health issues?
Is he scruffy?

Tbh this would put me off because even if I couldn't see the nits if people were telling me about them I would believe them.

It isn't "slight" neglect, it is a definition of neglect. Sustained headline cause genuine medical problems, the poor child. Your bf needs to pull his finger out and be a responsible parent.

If he won't even let you comb her hair I would have to have a serious think about saying goodbye. He wouldn't have to lift a finger, what does he gain by preferring his daughter stay infested? That's weird behaviour from him, I would lose all respect.

Him denying that they are they even when you show him and him not letting you treat them is really really weird behaviour.

Get rid of him and report it to school.

Yes it's neglect.

Even if he couldn't see them' what harm would it be to let his girlfriend comb her hair and pop some treatment on?

I'd not see him again and I'd tell him why. You don't want to be constantly passing nits onto your child.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-gran-girl-9-charged-27213032.amp

In the news a few days ago.

Of course it's neglect.

I couldn't be with someone who didn't listen when I said look I know you think you've treated the nits but you haven't they are still there. Nits can be resistant but I don't know why he is. I wouldn't see him again and say his attitude towards his daughter is disgusting. And if you can email the school.

Yes its really odd!

Yep. Call social services.

It's not slight neglect it's neglect plain and simple. He is allowing his daughter to walk around with a full infestation which will be painful, itchy and humiliating. Severe infestations can lead to serious health problems including infections and anaemia, both of which can prove fatal if untreated. Personally, for the sake of the daughter, I would sit down with him and make it clear this is your last conversation about it; either he allows you to show him how to do it, books her in to a clinic for them to do it (Google nit clinic in your area), or the relationship is over. In which case I would also suggest a referral to child social care.

Ignoring a lice infection is neglect. It is so, so uncomfortable to have a headlice infestation, it affects self esteem as other kids notice lice and keep thier distance from or bully the child with lice. Not to mention it's a health hazard!

He's an utter bastard for ignoring the problem, what's it to him if you comb her hair? Definately have a serious think about whether you want to stay in the relationship OP.