Boyfriends daughter and nits

[Wowowowowow]

My boyfriends daughter who is 6 is covered in nits. My boyfriend is in denial that she has them yet I can clearly see them on top of her head. I've tried showing him and he's like where I can't see them. He won't let me comb her hair. My daughter who is 8 had two massive lice in her hair after we saw them at the park but no eggs. I treated her hair and my hair in case there was anymore. She didn't have them the day before. This is really putting me off the relationship but everything else is so lovely. How can someone not know their kids have so many nits? He doesn't treat them properly as I've seen him treat it before and doesn't thoroughly comb and doesn't section her hair. I've tried showing him but he won't have it. The mother isn't around she lost custody of the kids in case anyone was wondering what the Mum did about the nits. Would you leave someone for not treating nits properly? I kinda class it as slight neglect. I don't know. I haven't seen them since because I don't want my daughter to get them again. This was start of the week. I made an excuse not to see them this weekend. He moaned at me yesterday on the phone because someone else pointed out the nits too to him and he was like she doesn't have any yet I know she does.

What are you saying back when he argues with you about it? What did you say back when he was moaning on the phone?

This is neglect. Someone needs to stand up for this poor little girl. I understand it is no way your fault, but you're aware of the situation and she needs you to stand up for her.

I would be telling him that what he is doing is neglect. You've told him, and now someone else has to. To pretend it's not happening is not fair on the poor child and he is being incredibly selfish.

I'd then dump him. Selfish git.

That's neglect that he refuses to treat her bits! Why would you want to be with someone like that?!

Nits not bits!!!

How have school staff not noticed?

And I agree with others, how can you bear to be with a man who is lying to your face about his daughter having nits and therefore neglecting her health, comfort and dignity?

I cannot fathom remaining in a relationship with someone who neglects his child. That would repulse me.

He is lazy and it is neglect. Poor kid.

I’d report it to her school so that I’d done something for the poor kid.

But I’d dump him immediately. For being an arsehole thar would neglect a child, primarily. But also for arguing with you. Someone mentioned sight problems… one comb through and you can see the dead lice on a tissue, and on the off chance his sight is so bad that he can’t pick out a contrast between white tissue and black nits 🙄 you still have the issue that he doesn’t need to see them to believe you. What an arsehole.

Hedrin Once will get rid of them with no need to further combing. Do you have a spare half an hour with her where you can treat her?
Id also tell school and let them follow up.

If his daughter has nits and presumably lives wih him thn he must have nits too ...horrendous
Why did he deny seeing them when you pointed them out to him?
I couldnt be with someone like that. Does he work> Is he scruffy? Unkempt? I really feel sorry for this poor child.

Thank you. I really wanted to do something. I am going to contact the NSPCC, the phone line is closed now so I will do it Monday when they open.

Before I commented I did think about leaving him over this, and I will be leaving him after something is put in place about the neglect.

Thank you everyone.

I will also post updates.

Sit her down and comb her hair, rinse the comb in a bowl of soapy water between strokes and the. Show him the lice floating in the water. Then treat her hair with a lice killing shampoo and tell him that from now on if you say she has bits she has them and he needs to treat her for them.

He won't let me. He says he doesn't want me to parent her, which is why I'm going to take it further.

Red flag. The nits and the neglect obviously but also the fact he won't take on board what you're saying. He's not the one.

It’s weird that he doesn’t want to admit his dd has nits. Is he worried that it makes him look like a bad parent?

I'd also have a wider concern about his general approach to hygiene and health. Does he shower regularly? Wash hands after toilet?

Is he taking it as an accusation and criticism rather than helpful?
Tell him that all children get nits at some point, and thats normal, but if hes refusing to treat it then thats neglect and youre not impressed

This poor girl, I could cry for her. He is being so cruel.

No point in phoning school, I'm sure they're already aware.

Report, and walk away. There no way you can stay with someone who won't even try and help his DD or have a word with her DM.

You're a good person OP.

My DD had nits from school in reception and it was awful we used hedrin which really helped clear it up. She is now in year 1 and we regular get letters to say children in her class have it, I find it really stressful and keep checking her hair but thankfully havent found any. I don't understand why the school can't directly tell the parents of those children they have seen it on with

Definitely worth calling the school to disclose to the safeguarding lead. This helps join the dots with relevant authorities as part of a wider picture to ensure it's taken seriously.

School nurses aren’t usually based in schools, they are centrally based and will visit for health and safeguarding reasons.

They will not physically treat the lice. That is a parents job, but they can call him and discuss treatment with him.

No way would I date someone like this OP.

Please, PLEASE do this - this sort of thing is SO helpful when schools are desperately trying to get those further up the chain to take these cases seriously. One little thing at a time can add up to a huge mess.The school website will have details of, and almost certainly an email address for, their named person for safeguarding. If not, call the school and ask to speak to the safeguarding lead. Safeguarding issues should take priority over everything.