Boyfriends daughter and nits

[Wowowowowow]

My boyfriends daughter who is 6 is covered in nits. My boyfriend is in denial that she has them yet I can clearly see them on top of her head. I've tried showing him and he's like where I can't see them. He won't let me comb her hair. My daughter who is 8 had two massive lice in her hair after we saw them at the park but no eggs. I treated her hair and my hair in case there was anymore. She didn't have them the day before. This is really putting me off the relationship but everything else is so lovely. How can someone not know their kids have so many nits? He doesn't treat them properly as I've seen him treat it before and doesn't thoroughly comb and doesn't section her hair. I've tried showing him but he won't have it. The mother isn't around she lost custody of the kids in case anyone was wondering what the Mum did about the nits. Would you leave someone for not treating nits properly? I kinda class it as slight neglect. I don't know. I haven't seen them since because I don't want my daughter to get them again. This was start of the week. I made an excuse not to see them this weekend. He moaned at me yesterday on the phone because someone else pointed out the nits too to him and he was like she doesn't have any yet I know she does.

Why are you with him? He sounds grim

Def phone school as safeguarding.

I don't understand what parent would ignore this. I know it's unpleasant and I know it makes you itch just thinking about it but it's even worse for the poor kid who has them, it's so uncomfortable. As someone said, it's so easily treated too if you're prepared to put a few hours in. Lazy neglectful bastard.

Not true.

Just to add to my earlier post, I have a GD now, she's 4, she's had nits already, she was treated straight away and now every morning before doing her hair its sprayed with Hedrin Protect & Go, it cost about £4, lasts forever and we've not seen a nit since, it might be something those worried about their own children could use xx

Good luck with the little one @Wowowowowow

It's so strange that he's so firmly in denial about her having nits, but then also doesn't want you to treat them either. It can't just be laziness or he would let you get on and sort it. Maybe he just can't be fucked dealing with it but knows he's in the wrong so you offering to sort it is triggering some kind of guilt for him? I really can't fathom it.

It’s neglect.
That poor child.
Why won’t he treat them?

My SD came over once when she was very little, covered in them, her mother had just ignored them.

The state of her poor scalp.

Took me ages to sort - words were had.

Neglect - pure and simple.

My dd’s school ring any parent to come and get them if they have nits.
I would contact SS, if he is ignoring this what else is he ignoring?
I would also break up up with him, he’s proven himself to be a belligerent arse and a shit parent.

Phone the school. Let them know what you know, they’ll pass it on to the right places.

As you’re leaving him anyway I’d also be extremely blunt with him.

His refusal to accept that his DD has nits is turning a very minor, normal, childhood thing into a massive deal, whereby he’s neglecting her care and risking her being a child that other people avoid through fear of catching them.

Nits can be sorted very quickly. His neglect could have a very long lasting effect on his child.

What a twat.

I think people sometimes dont realise how common these things are. It sounds bizarre that hes acting like its an insult rather than sonething that happens to all kids.

Nits are a grim fact of life once in nursery and school. As are things like threadworms. Its gross but you sort it out quickly and sensitively.
It sounds like this man is impossible to communicate with

Just to let you all know I have contacted professionals today and they are doing something about it.

I also left him due to something he said, which isn't related to my post in anyway. I feel fine.

Thank you for all of your comments.

Oh bless you. Well done for helping her by reporting this. Glad you’re ok - sounds like you’re best off without him.

My dd had nits every single day (not in the holidays) for a year
id comb her hair at least 4 times a day,we’d get rid and the next day she’d be riddled with them again
i finally figured out that it was because of two kids (boy and a girl) in her class-they’d get put next to her as they where the ‘naughty’ kids and she was meant to have a calming influence on them
they where both riddled with head lice-you could see them moving around
i went ape shit and told the teachers that it wasn’t her job to calm anyone down-oh and these kids had nits and she kept catching them
the teacher denied that the kids had them (their hair moved) but did rotate all the kids so they sat next to different kids each week
i always knew when she was next to these two as she’d catch nits again-this went on for 6 years
and the parents denied it was their kids with the problem-one mother was heard ‘I don’t have the time to deal with nits-I work full time’!
I had 6 kids and worked-she had one child and couldn’t be bothered
some people just boil my piss-it takes time and effort but why wouldn’t you to make sure your child isn’t a health hazard?
poor kid-I caught them once and it was hell-my head was on fire

You’ve made the right decision OP. Thank you for looking after that little girl.
If he can deny something as obvious as that I’m sure he is capable of lots more bad behaviour. Hope you are okay 💐

Thank you. It was a difficult decision, I admit I did cry at the start of the phone call.

That is one of the reasons why I left him, if he can deny that what else can he deny, not just as a Father but towards me too. I've definitely dodged a bullet.

Show him this
www.sciencetimes.com/articles/27609/20201007/12-year-old-girl-dies-untreated-head-lice-infection.htm

And this
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-gran-girl-9-charged-27213032

You did the right thing. I hope the girl gets the help she needs.
I was abused and neglected as a child and part of that was untreated lice and worms. I still remember how awful it felt.
It's definitely a huge red flag, especially the fact that he wouldn't let you help her. He sounds like an abuser.

Thank you OP. There are people in this world who help these children. The ones without mums. We hear all the stories about the bad stepparents and BFs and GFs. But there are lots who try to help.

It does take a village and bear in mind that these children grow up and remember the adult that cared about them.

This is so incredibly sad. That poor girl. I was her once and I wish I'd met someone like you. Thank you for being so kind.

That is absolutely horrific. I am in tears thinking about that poor girl.

OP you absolutely did the right thing. Don't feel remotely bad. That little girl needed someone to help her and you did.

I couldn’t be with someone who neglects their child. Poor kid, I hope her dad comes to his senses soon and treats her head lice.

It’s neglect. Call the school and social services on him. Do not just walk away and leave that child to suffer as if she were invisible. Neglect is a deadly form of child abuse.

I’m glad you made the call OP. It must have been terrifying, but you did the right thing for the poor child.

That poor girl.