Or am I just old and out of touch?

[snowdropsandcrocuses]

DD 15 has a group of friends consisting of all girls except one male. He's a lovely kid. I guess if I described him I would say good kid, loner, long hair, skinny. He's a nice boy but not particularly sociable.

So we're chatting about her friends and she says her male friend (we will call him Jack) is pansexual. I had to Google this to discover it meant he is attracted to both sexes. She then told me, in all seriousness, he is Aromantic.

I had to pause for a second and confirm she meant he does not like/do romance to which I got another honest, straight faced 'yes'

So wait, there is a 15 year old boy in your friendship group (all girls except him) that is attracted to both (all?) genders and is not interested in romance. In other words, he wants to shag but not date?

I swear I don't get it. She cannot see any irony in the term 'aromantic' for a teenage boy. And I want to stop the train and get off!

Yuuup.

Had my 15 year old niece arguing with me lately when I told her a girl and a “transgirl” could have a baby.

We’re fucking up these children royally.

They're trying to find their way at an incredibly confusing time re sexuality, as if it wasn't hard enough when we were growing up. It's good that she talks with you.

There's far too many labels around these days, l am of the belief that labels are just for clothes, we dont need to label ourselves, it causes nothing but seperation. Forget the labels, this is me, this is who l am, you focus on you and l will focus on me, everyone would be alot happier.

I know you're right. And this did only come out on the back of me spending one to one time with her and chatting.

It just hurts my heart to hear they are accepting terms like aromantic. It means 'no romantic attraction' but apparently sexual attraction not included. It's ludicrous to me. He clearly has a lot of female friends - so he feels friendship - and he feels sexual attraction. Don't the two combined almost equal romantic attraction? What the fuck even is romantic attraction? I don't like roses?

But yes, I'm venting hard here so I can remain 'open and conversational' in the real world

I'm afraid I have no advice. But now I get why my DH has No interest in romance... he's not a lazy DH he's just Aromantic 🤔

I'd just say, there have always been boys who just want sex and don't want a relationship. Say, we used to have a different name for them though.

I read it as he was aromatic and completely missed the point 😂

I read aromatic

At least the boy is being honest I suppose!

Snap @Florencenotflo

I have a friend whose daughter has come out as bisexual, pansexual, polyamorous, asexual and graysexual.
She is finding it a lot to take in!

How can you be bisexual and pansexual? Surely the pansexual trumps the bisexual? Isn't it like saying "I like all flowers and I also like roses"?!

😂😂😂😂

I don't know! I thought bi was liking men and women, and pan was liking anyone (including trans). Having lots of labels seems to be a thing!

I thought pan sexual meant physical looks have no meaning to you, but instead you are only attracted by personality.

But i know nothing obvs 😂😂

Sounds like every other teenage boy in the history of the world to be honest.

Would probably accept a shag if offered.

Does not understand Feelings ™.

I think my friend would have found it easier if her daughter had just said "mum, I like boys, I like girls, I like girls who used to be boys and boys who used to be girls. I am dating several at once. I like them but don't want to sleep with them".
Or something along those lines!

Mt friend told me about an acquaintance's daughter/ son who wears a differently coloured wristband to signal each day to friends and family what gender he/she / it /they feel on the day so that their surroundings can adapt lingo accordingly. Teenagers- bless them, they are so incredibly self centred. I just don't think we should just indulge their whims without questioning

I thought pansexual = not fussy/will shag anything...it I am not very woke
Demisexuals is another one only sexually attracted if have made an emotional connection first (no shag at first sight just for them, oh no).
Makes me yearn for Naomi Klein to write No Label.

Girls who want boys
Who like boys to be girls
Who do boys like they're girls
Who do girls like they're boys
Always should be someone you really luuuuuuuuuv

That was 'Blur' in 1994.

They were way ahead of their time it seems!
(where did those TWENTY EIGHT YEARS go by the way😢?!?!?)

THIS has made my head hurt 😳😂

It might be ludicrous to you, but that’s likely because you’ve never heard it before and you can’t identify with it.

I think it’s great that kids and teens have so much awareness and open dialogue around different sexualities and gender identities now. I didn’t come out as bisexual until I was in my 30s because when I was a teenager, and a young adult, I didn’t even know it was genuinely a thing (because everyone just laughed at it). It would have made a difference if people were accepting of it when I was 15.

Gentle support costs nothing and can mean everything to a kid of that age. You could just be accepting and not grumble about it. What are you afraid of? What difference does it make to you if someone can describe themselves in a way that makes them feel comfortable in their own skin?

I think pan sexual means you'd shag males, female, non binary, transmen, transwomen, gender fluid, etc. Bi-sexual but spe-shull. But I always think aromatic means you've lost your sense of smell.

It'd be funny if the consequences for some of these children and young people weren't so serious. Unexpected baby in the "uterus haver" being the least of it.

Three years ago dd had an argument with a friend that a woman and a TW could have a baby - the friend insisted that the hormones mean they literally change sex, so TW grow a uterus and vagina.

She was an A* student studying biology for A level and is now a second year medical student.

He’s probably gay but doesn’t want to admit it.