Or am I just old and out of touch?

[snowdropsandcrocuses]

DD 15 has a group of friends consisting of all girls except one male. He's a lovely kid. I guess if I described him I would say good kid, loner, long hair, skinny. He's a nice boy but not particularly sociable.

So we're chatting about her friends and she says her male friend (we will call him Jack) is pansexual. I had to Google this to discover it meant he is attracted to both sexes. She then told me, in all seriousness, he is Aromantic.

I had to pause for a second and confirm she meant he does not like/do romance to which I got another honest, straight faced 'yes'

So wait, there is a 15 year old boy in your friendship group (all girls except him) that is attracted to both (all?) genders and is not interested in romance. In other words, he wants to shag but not date?

I swear I don't get it. She cannot see any irony in the term 'aromantic' for a teenage boy. And I want to stop the train and get off!

Pansexual is not the same as BI. Pansexual = attraction to a person based on their personality.

Aromantic - I don't think that's so weird, I'd take it as not interested in pursuing relationships. Sexuality is confusing, maybe he's gay, or asexual, or just overall unsure and sometimes it's hard to put labels on things.

You say wiser but you don't understand a pretty simple concept: pansexual = your sexual attraction is formed based on someone's personality.

A bisexual person might be sexually attracted to someone good looking but who they don't actually like. Someone who's pansexual wouldn't feel sexually attracted if they didn't know the person and like them on a personal level.

It's not just liking "cock or fanny" and it's not that hard to grasp really to be fair.

WTF is graysexual. I daren't google

I identify as demisexual. I spent my teenage years very confused and upset as to why I didn't feel sexual attraction like "normal people". I thought I was asexual, until I met my DH and fell in love and discovered I was sexually attracted to him.
If this knowledge and understanding had been around when I was younger it would have been life changing.

sometimes it's hard to put labels on things

So why bother?. I wish people could just be themselves, without the need to 'identify' as anything other than the person they are.

He's 15. 15 year olds are allowed to be like this. it is part of their development and figuring out of their sexuality imo. nothing to do with the gender woo stuff going on at the moment.

I did think he was aromatic though and thought that would be lovely.

this 😂😂😂

@nahnothanks because rather conveniently this young teenage boy has found an attention seeking & cool identity that validates him having sex but not a relationship 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm enjoying my Horlicks right now...

Must confess I initially read "aromatic" for "aromantic" and had a split second of "oh he must smell nice" before I got a grip.

I get what you're saying..

Back in my day (I'm late thirties) the crazy things the older generations couldn't understand were: being gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Most of my friends were gay or bi, I remember so many adults commenting with various things such as 'more bloody labels', 'most of you kids will end up straight' etc.
My friends are all very much exactly what they said they were.

The labels, and especially all the transgender arguments, from the youths of today, feels exactly the same as that to me.

Just as my generation finally felt proud to speak of their sexuality, this generation is speaking their own truths.. And I've taken a table with the old folks that tut and complain and don't really understand what's going on 🤣

No one is being ‘triggered’ by anything.
Its funny how some people having a chat about stuff can be taken as being ‘triggered’.

There's probably 50 shades of it.

What I don't get is, why does anyone need to know? As long as it's legal who cares what sexual interests other people have? Why this need for everyone to be 'Proud' about it and share loudly and ad nauseum with all and sundry?! That's the oddest part to me.

Ahem.. I give you queer non-binary demi-woman:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4575947-green-party-non-binary-demi-woman

Yes, why wear any sort of sexuality/gender etc sort of badge and identity? What happened to talking to someone, getting to know them and finding out that way.

And girls too ?!

Actually rather than being all about no strings shagging, in my experience aromanticism often goes hand in hand with neurodivergence… I think sometimes the descriptor is useful for someone who finds other people’s emotional reactions overwhelming or unfathomable.

it can be useful but I also think it can end up shutting someone off from emotional attachments and prevent them from seeing ways they can make fulfilling human connections

It's madness. Half my daughters friends are transitioning or non binary, have changed their names etc.

I recently came across someone who was "pan romantic demi-sexual" 🤯

oh this thread has made me chuckle while I’m having to stay awake to do a late night pick up of my bisexual DD who is 23

I too am going to ask my young adult DCs if they know some of these terms. Aromantic = player 😁

Am wholly unsurprised at this nonsense when on any given day there is at least one or two stories in the news about trans folk. Who knows where it will all end.

You're not alone! All I could picture was a tub of stock powder!

And when it all goes wrong they'll be looking at the NHS to sort them out, no wonder the NHS can't manage financially.

‘Demisexual’ - I’ve heard it all now 🤣