Fucking hell, I just want to be a normal woman :(

[Teaorcoffeewiththat]

Posted before but unfortunately I’m still no further forward.

I have extremely irregular periods. They don’t follow a pattern and seem to come as and when they want to. For example, I had a period at the start of December, then one at the end of February, then nothing since then. It’s been like this since I started it over a decade ago (when I was about 12) and everyone told me it would regulate eventually but it’s not. I probably average at 5 periods a year at the most with anything between 1-5 months between them.

I’m not over or underweight, I’m average and have a healthy BMI. I don’t do excessive exercise or anything like that, and I don’t drink or take drugs or smoke. I’m not stressed or having low mood that could affect it either. I’m also definitely not pregnant!

My hormones were tested as part of a blood test and they said my thyroid is fine and my hormones were normal. I have some facial, neck and stomach hair and was tested for PCOS but it was negative which was a relief, but I’m also left with no idea why my periods are like this, other than it’s just the way my body is.

Why can’t I be a normal fucking women and have periods? Nobody else in my family is like this. I’m fed up of everyday being unsure if it will start and I always have to anticipate it starting because it just starts randomly on its own. I also might want to be a mum one day and presumably this will make it harder to conceive

I just want to be a normal woman😥

Apologies for swearing, I think I just needed a rant.

We're all "normal women" thanks, periods or not!

Go on the pill, get depo, or a mirena. All of which can regulate your cycle. Irregular periods are normal and common.

😀 rant away! That what we're here for.

Do you have children and/or are you TTC? If not then consider the pill which will give you "periods" every month?

Not having periods doesn't mean that you are not ovulating and likewise bleeds don't mean that you are. Women are dismissed. My DD is currently waiting to see endocrinology after pushing for two years. Her thyroid swells and her hormones must be all over the place given her symptoms, but one blood test every now and again isn't enough for diagnostic purposes.

I’m so sorry you feel this way and I don’t have much in the way of useful experience to share, but I just wondered if you’d had more than one blood test? I recently had a blood test for peri menopause and it had to be done on certain days if my cycle (which was really hard to arrange because my cycle’s been all over the place which is part of the problem!).

I would presume, though I’m no expert, that your hormones would seem “normal” sometimes, and you’d need to track them at different points in your cycle to have any clue what was going on. I wonder if ovulation trackers might help?

Do you have a supportive GP or do you feel fobbed off? Is your GP a woman? I have a different female related condition (lichen schlerosus) and I used to literally request to see the female login rather than my assigned male GP. As 50% of the population we shouldn’t have to fight to have our needs met but sadly we do.

That sucks, @Teaorcoffeewiththat . I've had periods of time like that, and it's crap being unable to plan, unable to prepare.

I also understand your concern about what it could mean for your future fertility.

Rant away!

It's slight comfort I know, but lots of women are irregular. Not as irregular as you, but enough to make it hard.
Also, there's the time when you can be 'on' for two weeks, have a week off, then start again. Draining.

Have you tried hormones to regulate things?

No advice, but lots of sympathy and love. Periods are a fucking curse!

The book Period Repair Manual is a good place to start. There are a few "woo" tips but mostly there are great tips.

If the goal is regulating your periods, you want to find out whether you are ovulating or not. You can have a period without ovulating (anovulatory cycle). There is zero point going on the pill to "regulate your cycle" because the bleed you get from the pill is a withdrawal bleed, not a period at the end of a typical hormone cycle. Coming off of the pill can also cause further period irregularities so if I were you, I would avoid the pill at all costs.

Eating well and taking evening primrose oil capsules daily have helped me, as have sleeping plenty, drinking enough water and keeping stress low as possible.

I have had terribly irregular periods for my whole menstruating life and feared I would never conceive naturally. We have a beautiful daughter now. Not to say that you shouldn't do what you can to repair your periods or that you will definitely conceive, but maybe it gives you hope.

You could well have PCOS, my hormones were tested as being normal for years, one minute they could see cysts on my ovaries, the next minute they couldnt. I sport a full tash and beard if Im not compulsively plucking, tweezing, shaving, epilating, Ive had electrolysis, lazer treatment, waxing, the lot, nothing has shifted it

My periods were all over the place. Only in peri menopause have they suddenly become regular but the hair remains. I was told I had PCOS but my hormones were mostly normal apart from very early tests when I was a lot younger.

This did not stop me conceiving first cycle every time.

This was me! I would go three months at a time without periods sometimes. Weirdly when we decided to TTC they started being more regular. The only thing that changed was that I was the heaviest I'd been 🤷‍♀️ After I had DD they were like clockwork when they returned! My mum was exactly the same.

I used to have really irregular, heavy periods and I got pregnant on our first unprotected 'go' at 36 (too tired to think of how to put that properly sorry lol) Even though we weren't trying. So there is hope,.don't worry.
In hindsight I should have gone on the pill years ago to regulate them, even if it was just to know when to expect it.

I had the same OP but was bleeding ALL THE TIME. I basically had a week off, two at best. No PCOS, but hair which I’ve had to have lasered. I hate to say it because I would have punched me in the face but mine did suddenly just become normal around 30. I came off all contraception (all I can have is progesterone only stuff and progesterone seems to make me bleed) and I don’t know if that was a factor. I have so much sympathy for you and wish I had a magic answer.

Mine aren't as infrequent as OP's but they are still highly unpredictable.
I conceived 4 kids (3 unintended) so can't say had trouble TTC.
Sorry you feel bad. I don't mind mine being unpredictable. Never caused me much problem.

I feel your pain. I have irregular periods and it’s so annoying, although I don’t have a thyroid gland so it’s quite easy to pin point why!

Have you had kids? Sometimes irregular periods stop once someone has had a baby.

What tests did you undergo for PCOS? If you were not given an ultrasound I’d be suspicious that would might have PCOS and for some reason the blood tests were within normal range.

Other things to look out for is to check you aren’t experiencing early menopause, something that happened to my friend in the mid-20s.

Certain contraceptives can cause irregular periods. You could ask your doctor for the pill to regulate them?

Lurking incase you get an answer. My daughter is very irregular (can go several months without) but gp isn't interested until she wants to conceive.

Mine were irregular until after I had kids. It took over two years to conceive the first time around but it was quite quick with the second. I wasn't very bothered about the long gaps normally but it did make it difficult to date my pregnancies before the scan. They now seem too close together!

My GP said this to me when I was 18 as well. It'd taken all my courage to go and talk to her, and she sat there heavily pregnant telling me to come back when. I wanted children. It's awful. What I should have done is requested to see.someone else. Please dont let your daughter be fobbed off.

I've been diagnosed with PCOS even though my hormone levels are always 'normal' according to blood tests.
I have cystic acne, hirsutism, cysts on my ovaries and slightly irregular periods.
Medical science is no where near as advanced as drs would like us all to believe, it's still a game of blind men feeling the elephant and getting it wrong as a consequence.
Try eating a Low GI diet, my periods went to a very regular 28 day cycle when I did, but it did nothing for my acne so gave up after two to three years ..

If you have dark facial hair plus the cycle issue I would get yourself a private appointment with an endocrinologist, it does sound that there is something amiss with your hormones or gynae that your GP is missing.

I have incredibly irregular periods too. My cycles range from 40 - 100 days. It’s frustrating but I have conceived twice on the first month of trying and had 2 perfectly healthy pregnancies and now children. I was obsessing about cycles and PCOS and infertility for years before ttc, I wish I had just chilled out! I did see my GP who couldn’t have been less interested.
Have sex every other day throughout the cycle (yes, that could be a lot of sex 😂) and relax. Don’t worry about something that might not even be a problem.

I was the same, maybe 3 periods a year. Had two kids and now regular as clockwork.

Have you tried acupuncture? Also, if you can afford it only eat organic meat, eggs and dairy products. They pump meat with all sorts of shit.

You are normal, we are not robots, and the idea that most of us are tidily one week on three weeks off is a myth

I have a huge fibroid and get my period regularly every bloody month, it's so painful I can't function for 3 days. Don't even get me started with my roller coaster hormonal changes that make me sink into a two day full blown depression. I loose a lot of blood (10 full menstrual cups which equals a cup of tea).

You are so lucky my dear. I really really envy you.