Fucking hell, I just want to be a normal woman :(

[Teaorcoffeewiththat]

Posted before but unfortunately I’m still no further forward.

I have extremely irregular periods. They don’t follow a pattern and seem to come as and when they want to. For example, I had a period at the start of December, then one at the end of February, then nothing since then. It’s been like this since I started it over a decade ago (when I was about 12) and everyone told me it would regulate eventually but it’s not. I probably average at 5 periods a year at the most with anything between 1-5 months between them.

I’m not over or underweight, I’m average and have a healthy BMI. I don’t do excessive exercise or anything like that, and I don’t drink or take drugs or smoke. I’m not stressed or having low mood that could affect it either. I’m also definitely not pregnant!

My hormones were tested as part of a blood test and they said my thyroid is fine and my hormones were normal. I have some facial, neck and stomach hair and was tested for PCOS but it was negative which was a relief, but I’m also left with no idea why my periods are like this, other than it’s just the way my body is.

Why can’t I be a normal fucking women and have periods? Nobody else in my family is like this. I’m fed up of everyday being unsure if it will start and I always have to anticipate it starting because it just starts randomly on its own. I also might want to be a mum one day and presumably this will make it harder to conceive

I just want to be a normal woman😥

I used to have irregular periods sometimes I'd have only have two periods a year but zero pms. It was very frustrating and annoying . However since I've had my son I'm in crippling agony for two weeks of every month, cramping, headaches, vomiting, nausea and crippling anxiety. I have to take regular medication to deal with the pain. Just a different perspective I also thought irregular cycles were a huge issue I'd now kill to go to what I was before.

Our body chemistry and biorhythms are unique to each of us so this may not help you but, I've had similar issues since puberty (I'm now 51) and found that the Mirena coil didn't help at all and various contraceptive pills had horrible side effects, so I started taking Fenugreek, and it worked. It kept me regular and astonishingly PMT free !
Things to note: You have to take it every day, it takes a few weeks to take effect, start on a low dose and see if you need to build up (I take one 610mg capsule every day), you may get an upset tum when you first start on it, it can increase fertility in some women.
I hope you find a solution soon x
P.S. my mum had a friend who used to average one period every 6 months and she had no trouble conceiving her 3 children, so try not to worry about it :-)

I was the same until well into my thirties. In my teens and twenties I sometimes only had 2 or 3 periods a year. I went to the doctors but was just dismissed because I was young and slim. It wasn’t until I was ttc in my thirties, and happened to have a great gp who specialised in fertility, that I had a whole load of tests that diagnosed me with PCOS. There is no one ‘PCOS test’. I had an ultrasound, and blood tests at different points of my cycle, and further bloods to measure other hormone levels.

And now in my 40s, and many stone heavier than ten years ago, I’m finding that I have monthly periods. And , oh my god, it’s a pain. I’m actually thankful that i haven’t had to endure this for the past 25 years !

So, while I wouldn’t wish for monthly periods, if I were you I would
push harder for a diagnosis. In my experience female GPs are less dismissive of these sorts of issues.

Please don’t get Depo.

Worse thing to happen to my friends dd.
She was fine pre the shot and then bled constantly for 4 months (ended up anaemic) and her periods haven’t regulated they are worse

The thing with periods is that what you have is normal for you.

If you have dark facial hair plus the cycle issue I would get yourself a private appointment with an endocrinologist, it does sound that there is something amiss with your hormones or gynae that your GP is missing

I had this. Apparently mine is genetic. When I was given the results (many years ago when dna discoveries were just starting) The consultant was very excited. He told me how my genetics were only found in women who were from a certain tribe who came from one place and settled in another continent and had I any connection to 2 particular countries (which I had)

Could he do anything about my irregular periods or furry chin?

No. It was my genetics. But he thought it was so exciting.

Start taking Inositol, equivalent of 5g/1tsp measure a day.

You may be someone who's body processes it too quickly/poorly from food.

See if it helps ❤

Absolutely awful outdated advice.

I'd continue pushing for help if you're uncomfortable. It took 3 separate lots of tests for my PCOS diagnosis, at 17, 19 and 23. Hormones kept coming back normal. No cysts found first 2 scans. Just excess hair. Turns out my ovaries just so happened to behave at the first 2 scans. Third one the cysts were obvious. PCOS diagnosis came fairly quickly after that. Although that may well not be the case. But it definitely feels like women are fobbed off at times. Was told the odds of me ever conceiving naturally were low to nothing after some other tests. And now I wake up to 2 beautiful kids demanding my attention every day! You are normal. I know very few women on a nice regular 28 day cycle. Everyone's normal is different

Have you been checked for polycystic ovaries (PCOS). I have this and the only symptom I have is a very irregular cycle.

You sound like me & it totally could be PCOS.

You should be having a menstrual bleed every 3 -4 months (either natural or induced with medroxyprogesterone) to make sure the uterine lining sheds. There is a condition called hypothalamic amenorrhoea which is commonly mistaken for PCOS. It's difficult to diagnose and is usually a diagnosis of exclusion. This is a link to a paper that was published last year. It means that even with a "normal" BMI, your periods can be irregular. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34323305/

Perhaps your GP can refer you to a Endocrinologist who will be able to investigate it further.

This was my experience too. I’d have about 4 or 5 periods a year. I went to the doctors in my early twenties and they diagnosed me with….irregular periods. I think I already knew that.

I worried a lot about conceiving but was pregnant within 6 months of trying for both my children.

I think I prob had/have PCOS but don’t obviously present with it. I have more hair than most but I’m olive skinned so not too unusual.

Now I’m heading to peri menopause my periods are like clockwork.

Maybe there’s more of us like this than we realise and we just don’t talk about it enough?

I don’t think this is particularly kind or sensitive.

Seeking out something to be offending by in a post by a young woman who is struggling, is petty. Especially when it is clear that no offence was intended.

Ask you actively sort to minimise the OP’s problems. Why post at all if you’re going to do that?

I have maybe 3 - 4 a year. I’m a healthy weight, fit and active. I much prefer it this way though. I was regular in my teens and it was such a pain in the ass every month

Wow - anything between 1 - 5 months between them?? Have you been to see a gynaecologist?

Hi! I was in the same boat as you for years -cycle generally 40-60 days. When I was trying to conceive I watched for the obvious changes in discharge like a hawk - managed 3dc so it worked…just less opportunities per year than the norm!! Last child born when I was 32. Periods regulated to monthly when I was 40🙄……can’t tell you how irritating it is to have them every month! Start noting the signs you might be about to come on - sore boobs, miserable mood, odd cramps - to help you gauge timings. Don’t panic - just one of those things!

I was the same and was told at 21 that I had "mildly polycystic ovaries". When I did have periods, they were so heavy that I could barely leave the house without risking bleeding through the most absorbent tampon + pad.

I went on the pill and it made a huge difference to my quality of life. I conceived first cycle both times I came off the pill by tracking my temperature.

I got a coil after DC2 and don't really ever bleed now (early 40s).

I echo what others have said - push for more tests. I was dismissed by three GPs between 16 and 21. Then, when I was at uni, my friend who was studying medicine did some research and said I should ask about PCOS. I think the main reason I was sent for a scan was that the GP at the uni practice didn't want to look stupid if he dismissed me and a medical student turned out to be right (which she was).

I recognise your feelings. I was so conscious of everyone around me having normal periods. Or so I thought. But look at the responses here. You're not alone.

I wouldn't rule out the pill or coil, because you don't want to be constantly stressed about whether you might be pregnant if you don't want to conceive yet. Personally I got on with the both and like them. They may not be right for you, but I wouldn't just dismiss them out of hand.

Irregular periods don't automatically mean you won't be able to get pregnant. Though I know it is far easier to say "don't panic" than not to panic.

Good luck with pushing for more investigation.

You've saved me writing this post. It's PCOS to my mind. I had clomid to conceive things improved post birth.

I agree with @Whatever00 and removing all unnecessary chemicals from your home life. Also reduce risk of mould in your home and spend as much time as you can in early morning sun.

My PCOS was only picked up after I fell pregnant after trying to conceive for 2 years even after several tests, they wouldn’t scan me internally so never saw anything, went to a 6 week pregnancy scan and was told I had cysts on my ovaries and if I knew I had pcos (it was internal) and then everything made sense, I didn’t have excess hair just really irregular periods, low mood etc, funny enough now I’ve had my daughter who is 7 month old my periods returned after 2 months and have been regular every month on the dot since 😁

I could have written this.
My periods were all over the place from when I started at 15 to...I don't know actually, probably until my 40s? There are many years of both combined and mini pill taking in there though.
The only time they've been regular is in the last few years and now they're all over the shop again with perimenopause.

They were never irregular enough and I didn't have any health concerns to warrant investigation and I have been pregnant 3 times. I did take my temp and observe my cervical mucous during my late 20s and 30s which reassured me I was ovulating and also enabled me to know when I was likely to get a period.

I think it was just normal for me. I often thought it was because I am quite highly strung.

I am not minimising your concerns, just sharing my experience.

Wow, so many of us have become more regular as we've got older!
What's that all about then?!

How did they test for PCOS? If it was a blood test they might have missed it. My GP sent me for a scan after my blood test came back normal. Took the doctor less than a minute to confirm PCOS. No idea why my blood test was normal.

I have excess facial and body hair, hair loss on my head and acne. I've never struggled with my weight the way most people with PCOS do so the first Gp didn't even want a blood test.

As I was reading this I was thinking PCOS - definitely! Then I got to the part where you said it wasn’t that!
I have pcos so really irregular periods. But I found acupuncture helped getting me more regular.
good luck op.

My dd could have written this. The doctors put her on the pill after saying no to pcos.