Fucking hell, I just want to be a normal woman :(

[Teaorcoffeewiththat]

Posted before but unfortunately I’m still no further forward.

I have extremely irregular periods. They don’t follow a pattern and seem to come as and when they want to. For example, I had a period at the start of December, then one at the end of February, then nothing since then. It’s been like this since I started it over a decade ago (when I was about 12) and everyone told me it would regulate eventually but it’s not. I probably average at 5 periods a year at the most with anything between 1-5 months between them.

I’m not over or underweight, I’m average and have a healthy BMI. I don’t do excessive exercise or anything like that, and I don’t drink or take drugs or smoke. I’m not stressed or having low mood that could affect it either. I’m also definitely not pregnant!

My hormones were tested as part of a blood test and they said my thyroid is fine and my hormones were normal. I have some facial, neck and stomach hair and was tested for PCOS but it was negative which was a relief, but I’m also left with no idea why my periods are like this, other than it’s just the way my body is.

Why can’t I be a normal fucking women and have periods? Nobody else in my family is like this. I’m fed up of everyday being unsure if it will start and I always have to anticipate it starting because it just starts randomly on its own. I also might want to be a mum one day and presumably this will make it harder to conceive

I just want to be a normal woman😥

OP I was the same as you. Mine only got "regular" in my early twenties as I was on the pill.
They were regularlish by my thirties, they're still not clockwork but within a more expected range now.

Don’t go on the pill, those are just withdrawal bleeds - not periods. And it really is not good for you. Your body needs to ovulate on a regular basis to create the hormones you need for bone health and other vital things.

Read this. It’s amazing. I’ve learnt so much about my period and now know what my body is doing at each part of the cycle, and how to deal with stuff like anovulation (not ovulating) and irregular periods.

www.amazon.co.uk/Period-Repair-Manual-Second-Treatment-ebook/dp/B075NDJC2J

This is so common! Not abnormal. I have PCOS and never know when I’ll have a period or ovulate either. It’s just not talked about and there’s been lack of investment and research into womens reproductive health.

As a previous poster has put, the Period Repair Book is a very good read. She covers all types of period issues with solutions. I have painful periods and so does my sisters friend. After taking magnesium daily and cutting back on gluten and dairy like suggested my pain diminished a lot, so did the friends pain. We were both shocked. I suggested the book to my friend who has irregular periods like you and when she does get one she vomits with the pain and has a migraine. Since taking magnesium she no longer has migraines and has become a little more regular. Definitely worth a buy from Amazon. I tell every woman about the book as it really helped us 3 women. I hope it can help you too x

I was always very irregular, it's not that bad. One time I went for a year without a period, what's not to love about that? Regular periods are dead handy for not being caught out, but otherwise...

No ide, I'm kind of similar. Period arrives every 2-8 weeks. Sometimes have two in a month and then skip two and then bleed for a month. Fucking kills our sex drive.

Also don't have PCOS or any big issues apparently. Got my period at 10 and am now 27 and they haven't evened up!

Also I've been on the implant for 8 years - still irregular. Was on the combined and mini pill before that and didn't even up. On the pill that stops them completely? Well mine never stopped!

I could have written this!

Drs didn't want to know when I was a teenager and stuck me on the pill (caused me to bleed randomly), changed to implant when I became sexually active, (no bleeding on that at all).

Now in my early 30s and been TTC for just under a year, only had two periods in that time.
Still finding that drs don't really want to know. The lack of care/support around womens health is shocking!

I was diagnosed with PCOS at 17 and was the same for most of my adult life. Some years there were no periods at all. Other years 1-4. Usually lasting 10-14 days. There was even one year I had one at the start of Sept, then another at the end of Sept which didn't stop until the following Feb (couldn't get a GP appointment to discuss it, so just had to suffer it) felt like I was dying! They just came and went randomly.

Then, for some reason, mid-30s, it changed. Now they come every 33 days. It's actually a pain in the ass. The bloating and mood swings come so often now. Feels like there's barely any break in between, but that's just because I'm not use to it.

Have you had an ultrasound and had your hormones checked at the right time?

Are you me? I’m a year younger than you, but I have the same. No idea when I will bleed and when I do it’s super heavy and painful. Sometimes have 2 periods a month. Sometimes skip 2-3 cycles. Also started at 10. Doctors continue to fob me off even though my cycles should’ve evened out about 10 years ago and I stopped the pill 2 years ago. They blame it on stress. I’m not stressed (apart from the dr not caring)😒

You sound like me when I was your age. Blood tests suggested I didn't have PCOS despite having many of the symptoms... However when the bloods were repeated a couple of years later and accompanied by an ultrasound, I was easily disgnosed with it. You could try treating yourself for PCOS even without a diagnosis and see if it helps your symptoms. Try a myo-inositol supplement (it's a vitamin supplement which my fertility consultant strongly recommended for PCOS - a bit pricey but I found it worked well), low GI diet, contraceptive pill.... I also find metformin (a pill mainly used for diabetes but also PCOS) very helpful but you would obviously need a diagnosis to be prescribed that. Keep going back to the doctor as it does sound like you do have an issue. Good luck!

Actually after a quick google around myo-inositol supplements, they seem to be recommended for use in women who have PCOS so maybe that's only one to try if you actually get a PCOS diagnosis down the line... Definitely keep going back to the doctor though, and all the best!

It sounds like you could have polycystic ovaries, but not necessarily PCOS (they are different, who knew?!)
I was the same and whilst all my hormones are fine, I ended up having fertility treatment and through an ultrasound they could see my ovaries were really polycystic! xxx

A one-off blood test rarely shows PCOS. All your symptoms sound like my experience of PCOS.
My blood tests were always 'within the normal ranges' (whatever those are) but a scan showed up multiple cysts. I also have several small fibroids.
As others have said, the 'periods' you get on the Pill are not real periods.
Wouldn't touch Mirena with a bargepole - I had one, bled profusely for months, practically non-stop. Then it embedded itself in my upper uterine wall & I needed an operation under GA to remove it. Local radiographer said that my experience is relatively common, as she was constantly scanning women to locate their coils.

I have PCOS and you're symptoms sound really similar to how mine were when I was younger. I had one doctor that took bloods which came back as negative so he said I didn't have it. A few years after my symptoms were worse and a female doctor said bloods alone couldn't determine a negative PCOS result. It has to be bloods, an ultrasound and a visual analysis to see if you have excess hair/ weight problems/ acne. If you have 2 out of 3 then it's a positive PCOS diagnosis. My ultrasound showed I had PCOS along with a positive virtual analysis. To finally get a positive diagnosis was a relief but there isn't a lot they can do until you are trying for a family. I went on the pill to give me a period each month. When we were ttc ( and for a while before) I eliminated sugar from my diet, had a low GI diet and cut out dairy( as it contains hormones).
Excercise has been a godsend for me and strength training helps me mentally. After having my kids my cycle is now a regular, but long cycle and I don't take the pill either.
Hope this helps, sorry for the long post.

I was exactly like this. I started my periods at 13 later than all my friends and they were very sporadic. Once a year some years. I did have PCOS though but non of the normal symptoms, it was only a internal scan for something else that they saw the cysts.
When I was about 22 I went on Dianette for 6 months and that regulated my periods. And had my son at 24. And after him my periods have been regular like clock work apart from when I have been on a contraceptive.
Still have cysts but I'm regular.

Sorry for digressing but probably try a contraceptive pill or other or Dianette and see if that regulates you.

Also agree it sounds like PCOS. Did they do any scans? What blood tests did they do?

I'm like this! I used to worry I'd have trouble having kids, but have conceived very quickly each time. I haven't figured out the underlying cause behind it though.

Have you considered coeliac disease?

I have PCOS and am coming up to a year without a period now, which is pretty normal for me. How did they test for PCOS? Did they do scans, as that's the best way to know.

Also, I know its been recommended a lot but please research hormonal contraception before taking advice from strangers on the Internet. I blindly followed the advice of GPs who would give me contraceptives (pill, coil, depo) to 'help'. As a result I now have a liver full of tumours known as hepatic adenomas which are caused by hormones and fed by contraceptives. I can never take any kind of hormone treatment again as there is a huge risk they could grow, rupture or turn malignant. They aren't the magical answer that everyone seems to think they are, sadly.

We’re in much the same position with two that have moved out but possibly not forever. We want to move, but are looking for property with ample space. They have no hold over our home, but as our children we want to have space for them. If they were settled with homes of their own I might not feel the same way.

I used to feel the same as you OP although I do have PCOS. I was told I likely wouldn’t conceive naturally and I now have two kids both conceived naturally (and, to my utter shock, without taking months/years) so I suppose I must have been ovulating fairly regularly despite having periods that were all over the place.

You could ask your GP to be referred to a womans health consultant...rather than an obs/gyny consultant. Endometriosis is possible so is uterine fibroids. The NHS may not get to the cause as frankly we are all aware that they are fire fighting and dealing with the emergencies but not a lot else..you may end up going privately....but you could get lucky. Irregular periods...(anything with a gap of 38 days or more between periods) doesnt necessarily mean you would have any problems becoming pregnant...but good to find out any problems now rather than deciding you want children in your late 30s early 40s and facing a long period of tests.

Sorry, when you say you have been tested for PCOS do you mean blood tests or scans?

My blood tests are always clear but I have repeatedly had many cysts and so many other symptoms I have officially been diagnosed with PCOS.

Other than that I am here to say I sympathise completely. I would love to be able to plan things ahead around my period dates but I cant. I'm in my 40s now and hoping the menopause comes quickly (and as painlessly as possible but what are the chances of that)

What does your gynae say? You can have PCOS with normal bloods.

Have you had an ultrasound or even a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy?

I've had exactly the same experience - had extremely irregular periods since starting as a teenager - maybe 4 or 5 a year max. I'm now 44 and have had 2 kids with absolutely no probs conceiving (my eldest was actually a wee surprise pregnancy!). Have been investigated for PCOS or other gynae issues but nothing identified. Decided just to consider myself lucky for not having to put up with periods every month!