Fucking hell, I just want to be a normal woman :(

[Teaorcoffeewiththat]

Posted before but unfortunately I’m still no further forward.

I have extremely irregular periods. They don’t follow a pattern and seem to come as and when they want to. For example, I had a period at the start of December, then one at the end of February, then nothing since then. It’s been like this since I started it over a decade ago (when I was about 12) and everyone told me it would regulate eventually but it’s not. I probably average at 5 periods a year at the most with anything between 1-5 months between them.

I’m not over or underweight, I’m average and have a healthy BMI. I don’t do excessive exercise or anything like that, and I don’t drink or take drugs or smoke. I’m not stressed or having low mood that could affect it either. I’m also definitely not pregnant!

My hormones were tested as part of a blood test and they said my thyroid is fine and my hormones were normal. I have some facial, neck and stomach hair and was tested for PCOS but it was negative which was a relief, but I’m also left with no idea why my periods are like this, other than it’s just the way my body is.

Why can’t I be a normal fucking women and have periods? Nobody else in my family is like this. I’m fed up of everyday being unsure if it will start and I always have to anticipate it starting because it just starts randomly on its own. I also might want to be a mum one day and presumably this will make it harder to conceive

I just want to be a normal woman😥

Hi OP! My periods were like this until I was about 31. They did get a bit more regular just around the time we started trying for kids (30/31), but it doesn't impact conception! With trying to conceive, you just have to have sex alot! Every couple of days for the month or two you want to conceive, and there should be no prob! Having irregular periods won't impact that! It's more a prob for baby 2 or 3 when you are too knackered for sex! And need to time when to have your one and only sex of the month/two months!

Having irregular periods doesn't mean you are not a normal woman. It's fine, and perfectly normal not to be regular. Stop stressing about it and accept it is what it is. You are still young, they might get more regular in you mid to late 30s, or 40s. Maybe they never will. Other than it being a bit of a faff and having to worry about coming on at any time (which I still do anyway as although they are more regular, they can be quite rogue at times!!), there seems to be no other issues. It doesn't effect your womanhood OP

Yes we are all normal women periods or not however going on the pill will not resolve the issue. The pill and other similar medication merely force our bodies to have periods when our bodies are designed to do this naturally. The contraceptive pill deals with the leaf but not the root. If OP wants to conceive now or in the future she would have to stop taking the pill and would be back to square one.

I'm no expert but just speaking from my own experience. OP I say go back to your G.P demand to be referred for further investigations, get them to run your bloods again get them to tell you exactly what your results are and what is considered a "normal range" range.

You are not to blame for this but often if no immediate reason for these things are found you will be left to just manage. I would advise you take the approach that it doesn't matter to your G.P but it matters to you and you need to push push push for a referral to get to the root. Don't let them fob you off.

Don't let them suggest that if you are TTC then it's not a real issue as some may say. This is nonsense.

I had a similar issue. I kept pushing for blood tests and scans etc, it took over a year but it turned out my prolactin was very high I was given medication to reduce my prolactin levels. My levels are now normal and periods are back, further pushing led them to find out other things which are now in the process of being sorted.

I also found that by doing my own research it allowed me to ask the right questions along the way.

Good luck with getting it sorted. I am sure you will.

My periods could be very irregular, but they became more regular (35-42 day cycles generally, sometimes would miss one). I got pregnant first month of trying and after pregnancy they became very regular (30 day cycles). After second pregnancy went to 28 day cycles! Hormones are weird.

I have not had a period in years, since I first got the implant! Even now I've switched to the depo injections it still hasn't returned. I keep being told it's normal for some women to stop on certain birth control but seems a bit alarming doesn't it? YANBU.

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply, thank you so much everyone who offered advice and help. I read every message and I really appreciate it.

im not TTC or planning on getting pregnant at the moment, but it’s something I will probably want in the future and I was just worried that my period situation will make TTC harder. It’s a relief to hear that other people with similar period cycles have managed to conceive! I know I’m still a normal woman but it just feels so frustrating sometimes. It’s a relief that there’s nothing wrong with me medically as the blood tests were all fine and my hormones were normal, so it’s obviously just the way my body is.

I know on the surface it seems like I’m lucky not to get periods but it’s frustrating when people say that because I don’t bloody feel lucky. I have to spend everyday expecting it as it could come at any moment- I don’t get any warning signs before it happens. I haven’t had a period since February and havent been able to wear anything light coloured since then as I don’t know when it will next happen. I know most people are slightly irregular but at least it’s possible to roughly predict when it will come, whereas everytime I go to the toilet it’s a lottery of ‘has my period started?!’

It actually started again last week out of the blue when I was at work. Obviously I’m grateful not to get cramps and it’s nice not having to have periods every month, but the unpredictability is a nightmare. It only lasted 3 days so I’m grateful that it wasn’t bad, but now I get to spend everyday of the next 2-3 months unsure if it will come today or not.

I considered birth control but the risk of it making it even more irregular put me off, aswell as the other side affects.

Sorry for the even bigger rant. Being a girl is so stressful sometimes isn’t it! thanks again to everyone that helped and it’s really reassuring that other people’s cycles are like this too x

I find that people who claim they're "regular as clockwork" are very happy to tell you about it, but people like you (and me, pre-Mirena) don't really talk about it (and why on earth would you). So, like social media, you can get a skewed view of what is "normal". The rise of these tracking apps hasn't helped either as it makes it sound like all periods are measurable and predictable.

There was a risk when I got my first Mirena 7 years ago of things going even more haywire, but I figured it was unlikely to be any different than the irregular heavy periods I was having. And after a couple of months, my periods stopped and haven't been back since, which is a lot more restful and predictable!!

Good luck and glad you feel reassured.

OP, you can use a menstrual cup when you're not bleeding.
I do that a lot - when I exercise as it helps with pelvic floor issues (which I am addressing in other ways) and when getting caught short would be a problem.

Just don't forget about it!

Op I feel you. I had irregular periods last year thanks to perimenopause but at least my breasts gave me a clue. Every morning I would be poking them to check for tenderness!
When I was younger I also had erratic periods. I went on the combined pill for contraception but hated it so came off it and found myself with clockwork, every four week periods. Amazing!

On a more practical note. I have invested in loads of period pants. I wear when I think I might possibly maybe come on. In the end its more comfortable, eco friendly and cheaper than constantly wearing pads just in case.

Have you had your prolactin tested? I had a similar back story to you, and it turned out I had extremely high high levels ( a benign pituitary tumour). A few months of meds and I became a first time mum a month shy of my 43rd birthday!