Fucking hell, I just want to be a normal woman :(

[Teaorcoffeewiththat]

Posted before but unfortunately I’m still no further forward.

I have extremely irregular periods. They don’t follow a pattern and seem to come as and when they want to. For example, I had a period at the start of December, then one at the end of February, then nothing since then. It’s been like this since I started it over a decade ago (when I was about 12) and everyone told me it would regulate eventually but it’s not. I probably average at 5 periods a year at the most with anything between 1-5 months between them.

I’m not over or underweight, I’m average and have a healthy BMI. I don’t do excessive exercise or anything like that, and I don’t drink or take drugs or smoke. I’m not stressed or having low mood that could affect it either. I’m also definitely not pregnant!

My hormones were tested as part of a blood test and they said my thyroid is fine and my hormones were normal. I have some facial, neck and stomach hair and was tested for PCOS but it was negative which was a relief, but I’m also left with no idea why my periods are like this, other than it’s just the way my body is.

Why can’t I be a normal fucking women and have periods? Nobody else in my family is like this. I’m fed up of everyday being unsure if it will start and I always have to anticipate it starting because it just starts randomly on its own. I also might want to be a mum one day and presumably this will make it harder to conceive

I just want to be a normal woman😥

@Teaorcoffeewiththat To help with not knowing when/if your period will start and the inconvenience of that, I'm at the menopausal end of my menstruating and equally don't always know - but I'm finding period pants an absolute godsend - they don't leak yet are comfy enough to wear all day.

Not sure if someone else has mentioned this but myself and my sister have PCOS. Mine did show on the blood tests, but my sisters didn’t. Hers was picked up on a scan as her issues around cycle etc continued. I would personally ask for a scan to confirm it isn’t PCOS just so it can be fully ruled out.

Nine were like that until I was about 30. Very annoying. Lost count of the number of times I'd be sitting in a meeting completely oblivious. Worst was when the meeting was two hours and the jeans were very pale blue.. .

Both myself and my daughter had terribly irregular periods. We both managed to conceive and after pregnancy our periods became slightly more regular.

It's frustrating I know I've been there, but PCOS can be slow and prolonged to diagnose and it still could be that I'm afraid.
For 5 years I was told that I hadn't got PCOS So when I went private to find out why I couldn't get pregnant after 6 years, lo and behold I had got PCOS after all.
Back in the 90s when I was diagnosed, not much could be done, apart from going on the pill to regulate hormones but now apparently there are better treatments out there.
If I was in your position OP, I would get a private gynae consultation to try and find out more.
Good luck💐

Can PCOS be diagnosed with a blood test? I have PCOS which was diagnosed by displaying a range of symptoms, an erratic menstrual cycle being one of them.

Can you go to see a different gynaecologist?

I had a terrible time with my periods all through teens up to early twenties and never got any answers until I went and saw a private gynaecologist through work health insurance. She diagnosed endometriosis and PCOS and I had surgery but it wasn't until my late twenties that my periods became regular (although still fucking painful). Cheers mother nature! 👍

Hope you are ok, try not to worry. I have no medical background but this was me, took folic acid amd everything started up fairly regular, and conceived fairly easily. My dd was the same, she started taking it and everything regulated too (she was extremely thin and extreme exercisinv for work). I'm not saying it'll work maybe it was a councidence but no harm in trying,

Get referred to a good gynaecologist

Also I now have a mirena coil,best thing I ever did (even if it makes me feel eek!)

Is there a blood test to see if the pituitary gland is functioning properly?

Have you tried taking a vitex supplement? I heard they are supposed to regulate cycles.

My periods were never regular and had massive gaps or came quickly, they tended to be light, just a day or two but sometimes last and last. I controlled them with the pill, which I took for three months straight and then forced a period by stopping. Now I’m on the coil and no periods.

I had the same - I didn't have regular periods til I was about 35 ( I've been pregnant twice and was pregnant within 3 months of trying. I had my first child at 23 and my 2nd at 27.
Don't mess around with hormones. It's not worth it.
Accept that your body is not 'standard' whatever that is supposed to be. I tried the Mirena coil and had a constant yeast infection.
I tried the nuva ring which gave me terrible acne at 33 (I'd never had acne before and it went completely after 3 months of stopping use. But I still have the scars on chin... )
The pill made me depressed.
Im now 51 and regular as clockwork and have started peri menopause.
Your body is unique. Stop comparing yourself to a text book.
My mum was regular as clock work as are both my daughters. Both suffered from depression after starting taking the pill. Lucky we recognized it from my experience and they stopped it quite quickly.
Give your body a chance - you're so young still! Xx

I completely understand how you feel. My periods were ridiculously irregular for many years. The longest I’ve ever gone between periods was about a year, this was nothing to do with being pregnant or breastfeeding.
I worried I’d never have kids, I now have 3 and my periods are much more regular. Though they’re still very heavy, but hey can’t win ‘em all, right?!

Just wanted to let you know my periods are very similar to yours. However mine range from being between 6 weeks and 12 weeks gaps between each. On average mine are 10/11 week gaps. First day is always quite light so I just always have an emergency tampon and pad in my bag.

I too have been blood test checked for all the same issues and not diagnosed with anything. And weirdly enough I've had no trouble getting pregnant the same month I started trying for each of my kids.

I love having such long gaps between my periods. When they do come they are usually extremely heavy (I mean seriously heavy) and last for ages, but I wouldnt have it any other way, I consider myself very lucky!
Life is hectic enough with work and kids that it's so nice not having to deal with periods as often as everyone else!
If you are cleared as all healthy otherwise, try to see the silver lining and enjoy the long breaks!

Don’t go on the pill. It will mask whatever is going on and not solve the underlying problem.
my advice would be to Go and see an acupuncturist. They are brilliant for Gynae/fertility related problems. I went to a 5-element acupuncturist and I swear I had never had a regular 28-30 day period the whole 15yra I had had periods. I was 33. I went to her for 1 month (4 sessions) and I went to a 28-30 day cycle the next period and I have had that since (I am now 44).

Sorry I need to add tbag i didn’t stop seeing her after 1 month. I continued for a year or so. I loved it.
I also forgot to say I had been diagnosed with PCOS when I was younger and my Gynae basically told me I had to live with irregular periods because of it, or go on the pill, and or go on v strong medication that could have terrible side effects (including liver failure) and she also told me in no uncertain terms I probably wouldn’t ever get pregnant ir would have to have IVF.

i ignored her, saw my acupuncturist, I had regular periods within a month, for the next 11 years and I have 2 beautiful boys who were fabulous and very welcome surprises. No help needed. Please consider acupuncture before you take the pill or go on other drugs.

I was the same as a teen until I went on the pill. Clockwork on the pill from about age 15 regulated my stupidly heavy periods, helped me plan them for dance comps (running pill on) and also sorted my severe acne out. Every time I tried coming off the pill they went back to being irregular and I ended up with bad cystic acne. I was also tested for PCOS which turned out negative on bloods and was also told that because I was underweight and not overly hairy that was another reason not to suspect PCOS. However when I came off the pill to try and get pregnant it took me 2-3 years. I barely had any periods, acne also refined (aged 30 by then). So after over a year of trying to conceive we went for investigations at the fertility clinic. Lots of internal scans, bloods, Jim being tested as well. Then eventually I fell pregnant without finding out the results. Fast forward to trying to conceive second time and same issue. Went back to GP to ask if they every for a reason for all my tests and the fertility clinic had diagnosed PCOS. So basically all the GP run tests and assumptions based on weight and lack of hair were wrong. PCOS also explains my bad acne. I tried the mini pill and the injection at various points too before trying for pregnancy and reacted badly to those with the acne returning. So combined pill only seems to work for me. Im
now in my mid 40s and still take it.

So definitely try the various contraceptive pills as they might help. And then you light need to think more when you do decide you want kids. I joined a PCOS group and there’s loads of thing that can help with getting pregnant should that be the issue.

Hi Op, just wanted to reply as I also had very irregular periods in my 20s/early 30s - could go up to 7 or 8 months between them. Like you I also had tests that came back fine for hormones (but never any scans) so never knew why I was like this.

I tried for a baby for 2 years & as someone else said the way we ended up conceiving was sex every 2-3 days. Since the birth of my dd (10 years ago now) periods have been mostly regular in comparison (25-40 days) but I have resolutely avoided any hormonal birth control (condoms all the way despite DH's protestation!).

Best of luck for the future xx

@Teaorcoffeewiththat I can understand how you're feeling. My periods sound the same and I've had all the tests done and everything is "normal". I also have PMDD which is extremely severe pms which is debilitating and with how irregular my periods are it can be long and drawn out, I am now on antidepressants for it.

But I did just want to say, I have always had irregular periods like this but easily conceived 2 children, which I am beyond grateful to have been able to, so the irregular periods themselves may not be a factor in stopping you having children.

I have also heard that acupuncture is amazing in regulating periods, that may be worth a try.

I can fully sympathise with you. I went on the pill at 21 because I was having irregular and extremely heavy periods. It solved the problem. I came off the pill and had 2 children (the first took 18 months to conceive). Then I went back on the pill. Still on it at nearly 49 as it seems to be holding off some meno symptoms (apart from brain fog and aching joints). I’d definitely recommend going on the pill just for some respite.

Did you actually read her post? She says one day she want to have children.

How old are you? It could make conception hard but it may not

try the pill ?

I have PCOS without having excess male hormones. You can have it even with normal blood results.

‘The 3 main features of PCOS are:

irregular periods – which means your ovaries do not regularly release eggs (ovulation)
excess androgen – high levels of "male" hormones in your body, which may cause physical signs such as excess facial or body hair
polycystic ovaries – your ovaries become enlarged and contain many fluid-filled sacs (follicles) that surround the eggs (but despite the name, you do not actually have cysts if you have PCOS)
If you have at least 2 of these features, you may be diagnosed with PCOS.’

Push for an ultrasound.

Although they won’t do anything until you are trying to ttc but it’s worth knowing so it can factor into your ttc plans. Not everyone will struggle but I think the number of women on this thread who conceived one first cycle/ with pcos are in the minority.
During my first year of ttc I had 4 periods with wildly different lengths of time between them so it was difficult. Your chances of conceiving are greatly reduced just on a numbers basis alone.
When you get an official pcos diagnosis you can go back to the gp for fertility options at 6 months rather than a year as a ‘normal’ couple.

YANBU! I was like this until I had kids and yes, it was bloody annoying.🙄Luckily, it didn't affect my ability to conceive as I got pregnant very quickly both times and afterwards my periods became much more regular. Good luck x