To not 'get' the weight lifting craze?

[bellaiceberg]

It's only my own opinion, and I accept we are all different, blah blah.
But I don't get the contemporary obsession with building muscle. Keeping toned and fit? Yes. Strong and capable? Yes, sure!
But basically eliminating natural female curves and softness to a large extent makes no sense to me. For those who are into body sculpting, that's great, but for the general population?

It kind of reminds me of Germaine Greer when she asked why is 'equality' now about imitating men, rather than men meeting us in the middle?
We women do seem to be growing more and more towards the masculine whilst pushing the naturally feminine away somewhat. Strength is something that isn't always skin deep, and our natural bodies perform just perfectly without terrifying hip thrusts and being able to lift up a small car.

Im exaggerating, but I do feel that our culture is becoming more and more weird about women's bodies. Building muscle in theory is great, and we do tend to lay more fat down, but there's a point where it all starts getting weird. Just seen images of a woman with a fabulous figure who was slightly overweight. She had soft curves and looked pretty fit. Everyone advised her to get everything built up at the gym, that her curved thighs and soft (flat) stomach were not 'healthy'.

AIBU to think it is all bollox? That it's gone from a healthy fitness thing towards a fear of the feminine? I know many women dont have curves and are still obviously feminine. I also know that what we term 'masc/fem' is pretty fluid anyway. But I am strictly focusing on weight training here, and the idea that this is the optimal way for a woman to get fit and healthy.

If I look at some instagram accounts where people are into this, I would honestly say it's more of a fashion/vanity project that health related, for both men and women. Whilst some are concentrating on having exaggerated 'booty's', others are desperate to eliminate any softness or curve. As if it is wrong to have any soft flesh at all.

I agree that muscle is as much feminine as masculine, but we still live in a society where our culture teaches boys to look down on anything traditionally associated with girls (from colours ~ pink!, emotional expression, nurturing, softness, intuition, etc). IMHO we have had to imitate men to become acceptable as opposed to men gaining more respect for US.

And yes yes i know people will pile on and say weight training saved their life/the third world/their obesity, etc. But I do think it's bonkers when a perfectly healthy woman is told any softness is unhealthy.

It's really difficult for women to fat reduce to the extent that their muscles are as defined as you're suggesting, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to diet and exercise, not just me going to the gym a few times a week.

However, weight bearing exercises for women are hugely important for protecting bone density health, and should absolutely be incorporated into all women's exercise regime (note weight bearing exercise isn't necessarily weight-lifting, it can also include yoga, running, bodyweight exercises like push ups).

So sorry, but I think YABU.

YABU. It's nothing to do with rejecting femininity, it's about health. It's good for your body to have muscle to support it as it ages. And finally it's acceptable for women to lift, rather than it being the sole domain of men. We should have been doing it all along.

Plus, to be honest, it just feels bloody brilliant. I love it.

Do you really think that women have always been 'soft' and weak?

Or is it more likely that the majority did hard, physical labour and the lack of muscle was fetishised because, like being pale skinned and then tanned, it was associated with wealth?

I think it depends on the accounts you're looking at. If it's a female body builder, that will be different from a more moderate account that's looking to produce lean healthy muscle. I do see some women who in my opinion have lost a bit too much body fat, but that's certainly not all. I'm a big Sydney Cummings fan, she lifts reasonably heavy weights for home works and in my opinion doesn't look 'masculine'

So important! Weight training and bearing is very important for women

Isn't it great that women have the choice to be able to though now? Rather than years ago when it wasn't a thing
I'm 5ft 10 and built for lifting weights, I feel like a lumbering awkward man next to my friends who are feminine and petite. Except in the gym where I can be strong and nobody cares if I have muscles

i have not said women are weak. Far from it.

Some important points here to mull over, thanks.

When I am weightlifting (let it slip a bit recently, life, bla bla bla) I look much more feminine, nice nipped in waist, round bottom, shapely arms. It feels great too. I am never going to be ripped as I love wine and crisps too much, but when I lift I can get away with drinking more wine and eating more crisps and still look good(ish) in my jeans.

People exercise for reasons other than to change the shape of their body. I strength train because I enjoy it, I like the challenge of improving and working on Olympic lifting skills, it's helped me out massively in terms of everyday life with improved mobility, lifting things properly etc. It's not in the least bit about what I look like and that's such a liberating thing.

Also it's surprisingly difficult to gain muscle and 'look muscley' unless you're on a really strict regime and/or it's your job. You don't just get bulky by picking up some weights.

To use you're own language, I'm 'soft' as fuck to look at but strong as fuck too.

YABU

of course., i agree with this.

I would still prefer men to join us and not minimise our place in society/interests, etc. I do not believe we have true equality.

"you throw like a girl" still going strong amongst boys. Anything effeminate is gay, gay is still an insult, it's not great. Even if we have more choices, we are not accepted.

I started doing some resistance training including weights recently... and, to be honest, most of female trainers at the place I am going to don't have instagram bodies, despite being incredibly fit and active. A good amount of curves on many, and even some quite visible fat here and there. It was a relief in a sense as I was wondering if I will be harshly judged for being sausage shaped, and doing it for health rather than any visuals.

It doesn't eliminate curves. Most women don't lift to look like Hulk Hogan ffs.

Are you basing these observations on social media?

Women are weaker than men! It's a biological fact.

As others have said, it's incredibly difficult to have a very muscular physique as a woman. "Body building" is different to weightlifting. One is about looks, the other is about strength.

Very muscular women and men are usually on unhealthy regimes and potentially steroids. A normal weightlifting program won't give you that physique.

I think it's great that DD19 lifts, as do I.
I like having my muscles defined esp on arms and abs.
I have zero natural roundness to start off with anyway. Small boobs, small hips and no waist to speak of but I'm still a woman without that
I have found that weight training is amazing for self confidence and has improved my posture no end.
It's so important to keep muscle with aging to protect the joints and for bone density.

Extremely unreasonable. Strength training is good for everyone and is of particular benefit to women as they get older. Also, nothing about doing weights makes me feel any less feminine!! 😂

I don't want abs, and do like some softness at my thigh and upper arms. I do yoga and pilates and I am strong enough. I think my issue in the OP is how this is called unhealthy now. It's sad. I hope that makes sense?

I don't get your point. Weight have become popular because they're incredibly good for your health, good for preventing osteoporosis and many people find them enjoyable. They're not just for men, and they don't get rid of curves . Even female body builders have curves - they don't look like men! Do you think women doing manual labour over the millennia looked 'soft'?

This has nothing to do with men minimising traditionally women's activities (though that happens, and it's shit). It's about women choosing to do things which never had any reason to be the preserve of men in the first place!

I don't do weights to imitate men, I do weights to maintain muscle mass as I age and prevent osteoporosis. I don't naturally build a lot of muscle so I certainly don't look less feminine or curvy for it.
You're always going to see the extreme end on social media.

You don't know what you're talking about here. You can have incredibly muscular quads but they don't appear or look that way unless tensed.

I find it has just enhanced my feminine shape- I'm an hourglass and weight lifting has just enhanced this. It has firmed up my post baby wobbly bit but I still have a good about of fat on me. I hasn't made me look masculine only time I've seen women look like that when lifting is due to them being body builders and really restricting diet

OP I think you’re mistaking weightlifting with body building. Two totally different things.

Do you actually see a lot of ripped masculine women with real abs at the place where you do yoga and pilates (assuming it also has a gym?)

Weightlifting is incredibly good for women. I know it is heavily recommended for younger women as it helps with fine density. Keeping weights up also helps against osteoporosis.

I have found Pilates to be getting a resurgence either way tbh. Weightlifting is just a good form of exercise that women used to shy away from due to comments from other people about how ‘manly’ they look. They don’t look manly, they look like women with muscle, it’s quite easy to tell the difference.

The only way you'll get visible abs as through diet as well as exercise. Those ripped abs you see are a result of temporary food restriction to lower body fat.
I have a strong core but you definitely can't see any actual abs.