To not 'get' the weight lifting craze?

[bellaiceberg]

It's only my own opinion, and I accept we are all different, blah blah.
But I don't get the contemporary obsession with building muscle. Keeping toned and fit? Yes. Strong and capable? Yes, sure!
But basically eliminating natural female curves and softness to a large extent makes no sense to me. For those who are into body sculpting, that's great, but for the general population?

It kind of reminds me of Germaine Greer when she asked why is 'equality' now about imitating men, rather than men meeting us in the middle?
We women do seem to be growing more and more towards the masculine whilst pushing the naturally feminine away somewhat. Strength is something that isn't always skin deep, and our natural bodies perform just perfectly without terrifying hip thrusts and being able to lift up a small car.

Im exaggerating, but I do feel that our culture is becoming more and more weird about women's bodies. Building muscle in theory is great, and we do tend to lay more fat down, but there's a point where it all starts getting weird. Just seen images of a woman with a fabulous figure who was slightly overweight. She had soft curves and looked pretty fit. Everyone advised her to get everything built up at the gym, that her curved thighs and soft (flat) stomach were not 'healthy'.

AIBU to think it is all bollox? That it's gone from a healthy fitness thing towards a fear of the feminine? I know many women dont have curves and are still obviously feminine. I also know that what we term 'masc/fem' is pretty fluid anyway. But I am strictly focusing on weight training here, and the idea that this is the optimal way for a woman to get fit and healthy.

If I look at some instagram accounts where people are into this, I would honestly say it's more of a fashion/vanity project that health related, for both men and women. Whilst some are concentrating on having exaggerated 'booty's', others are desperate to eliminate any softness or curve. As if it is wrong to have any soft flesh at all.

I agree that muscle is as much feminine as masculine, but we still live in a society where our culture teaches boys to look down on anything traditionally associated with girls (from colours ~ pink!, emotional expression, nurturing, softness, intuition, etc). IMHO we have had to imitate men to become acceptable as opposed to men gaining more respect for US.

And yes yes i know people will pile on and say weight training saved their life/the third world/their obesity, etc. But I do think it's bonkers when a perfectly healthy woman is told any softness is unhealthy.

those kind of bodies exist by and large on Instagram. IRL I see very few ripped women, and I’m pretty active in sports.

Who is calling it unhealthy? Are you literally just talking about some softness, not rolls of fat?

i have seen some fitness guy online referring to dadbod as shockingly unhealthy, but he's a fitness guy so... he's just going to say that sort of thing.

I look masculine, I weight train and I am nearly 60. I like the way I look and it's my choice.

You don’t automatically become Schwarzenegger when you lift weights. Most women won’t lift particularly heavy weights and just do it in addition to cardio to tone themselves up and keep fit. It’s a great thing to incorporate into your fitness routine, I do it 3 times a week and I’m not like a body builder or anything.

It doesn't bother me while others do it, none of my business if someone wants to keep feminine curves or not. I just don't do weights lifting, because it makes me feel bad. Really lowers my mood, don't know why. I love yoga, pilates and light cardio though. I've got 2x3kg dumbbells at home and that's it for me lifting weights 😂

I'm glad so many posters have educated you, OP. You could have done that yourself quite easily but, an ill-thought out post on Mumsnet is always so much better, isn't it?

You don't need to 'understand' if you choose not to but I find your opening post chock full of some quite pointed jibes about women who lift weights.

Hard to understand a woman posting like that really.

Oh FFS.

But basically eliminating natural female curves and softness to a large extent makes no sense to me. For those who are into body sculpting, that's great, but for the general population?

This is not a thing that is happening. Anywhere. Just about everything you've said is demonstrably wrong. And a very muscular body is still 'soft' unless muscles are tensed and the person has rigidly controlled their diet to maximise muscle and minimise body fat. It's just stronger, and fitter, and has better bone density, and all-around better health in numerous ways. But if you really don't want to get "abs", nobody is about to make you.

YABVU. I lift weights because the post breast cancer medication I'm on can weaken my bones. Weight bearing exercise helps to keep them strong. It can also bring a reduction in the risk of recurrence.

Lifting weights has a much longer term calorie burn than cardio. I'm perfectly feminine and do not have giant muscles. The sort of thing you're describing takes incredibly hard work and discipline alongside a very strict diet.

YABU
Weight training is very important for good health. I love it. Still have all my curves lol

You can make your shape more feminine and curvy through lifting weights. Plus it’s great for bone density and cardiovascular health as well. Obviously professional bodybuilding is different and I’m sure many are on steroids to get those muscles, but many lifting influencers have curves as well as muscle and look healthy and beautiful. They look strong not masculine. Basically I don’t think there are many downsides to lifting weights. Unless you follow a very strict diet and take steroids you’re not going to look manly.

Very unreasonable. Many women nowadays have significant muscle wasting as they don't have to do the heavy physical work that housekeeping previously required. Same applies to men of course as most don't work in physical jobs.

What this leads to is joint pain from 40 onwards.

Weight lifting prevents that - for both sexes. It's also the best way to boost metabolism, as muscle burns more calories than fat (there's a scientific way to explain that more accurately - can't be arsed - google it).

Even when I was thin, my muscles did not look 'unwomanly'. They just looked defined. You don't get to look like a bodybuilder unless you take all the steps they do prior to competitions.

Lifting weights is not 'unwomanly'. Lifting weights is being an empowered woman in the most physical sense of the word.

YANBU not to get it, but your OP is full of misinformation and inaccuracies so presumably you don't want to get it.

I lift pretty heavy, and I promise you I am soft and squishy. Lifting boots my mood and gives me confidence, and the effects include lower risk of things that typically affect women as we get older - so bone density/ lower risk of osteoporosis, lower diabetes risk, less loss of muscle mass etc. It's good for my physical and mental health. Why would you object to that, even if I did stop being squishy as a result?

It's almost like you're looking for a reason to sneer at other women without actually looking at the validity of your argument...

And also, it's not a woman's job to look vulnerable and weak just so some arse wipe of a man can feel manly and strong

I do yoga, cardio, bootcamps and lift weights and am still extremely curvy, I do it for my health. Not everyone who lifts weights gets super buff.

AIBU to think it is all bollox? That it's gone from a healthy fitness thing towards a fear of the feminine? I know many women dont have curves and are still obviously feminine. I also know that what we term 'masc/fem' is pretty fluid anyway. But I am strictly focusing on weight training here, and the idea that this is the optimal way for a woman to get fit and healthy.

Youre the one talking bollocks - it’s clear you know very little about the science of physical fitness and mobility.

I am stronger than most women (and a few weedy men). I can deadlift almost 100kg and drag or push over 300kilos.

I am strong and pretty lean, but I still have a female-shaped body. I have fat over the back of my hips, I have breasts, I have a bit of fat over my lower abdomen, I have fat on my inner thighs - all the places it is typical for a woman to carry fat, and my skeleton is female.

Mo amount of weight-lifting will change my biology, and it’s direction of the shape of my skeleton, and the way my body makes muscle and deposits fat.

It is now pretty well-proven by actual physiologists (research scientists) that some sort of resistance training, such as weight-lifting, is needed for women as they age, to maintain body muscle and maintain strong bones - to try to counter osteoporosis.

I train with a bloke. But the effect of our similar training on our different bodies is clear. There’s no way I’m trying to become more “masculine.” I’m doing things which are good for my fitness, health, and mobility.

And one might ask you @bellaiceberg why you think weightlifting is for men, or masculine? I’m claiming it for women.

You’re the one with the stereotypes in your head.

And as @LordEmsworth says, it’s good for my mood. I love, love, love being as strong as fuck. In a dress.

If you don't get it don't do it. No problem.

I love it, I hope I'm still lifting when I'm 100.

A woman policing what other women should do with their bodies and how they should look. Great, thanks OP.

I have recently started lifting because I am in my 40's and want to lose a little weight and build my strength and bone density now rather than WISHING I had when I'm 65, and naturally I look at the other women at my gym.

Because of the demographic of my town, there are a lot of younger women and not one of them is "growing more and more towards the masculine whilst pushing the naturally feminine away somewhat." Almost everyone lifts more than me, because I'm a beginner, but they all have better defined waists and rounded bottoms than I do - there's a big emphasis on work that encourages curvy thighs and bums. A couple of the older women have more defined muscles, possibly because older women are leaner and "show" muscle more? Or have more time/interest in working out a lot/different motivations?

I honestly think you are basing this off a scroll of a couple of hashtags on Instagram or TikTok, because it can't be from real life.

There's no way you're basing this off women you have seen out and about (most women in this country are overweight - see data below) or in the gym (see above).

digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/statistics-on-obesity-physical-activity-and-diet/england-2020

Also, my daughters (tween and young teen) often look over my shoulder when I scroll TikTok and I'm getting a handful of women who lift and (female) personal trainers on my feed looking absolutely incredible and I make a point of admiring how strong and fit they are to my girls and celebrating their achievement.

Starting weight lifting is the best thing I have ever done for my physical and mental health. I lift heavy and I look nothing like a man!

I suggest you do some research YABVU.

I've been lifting heavy weights regularly for 2 years. I have plenty of curves, OP. You wouldn't know unless we somehow got into a convo about it. I climbed for years, did jiu jitsu for a while. Hypermobile, but weight lifting has helped massively with it. Weight lifting increases bone mass and counteracts osteoporosis. All women should be lifting weight as standard. Also, any women who exercise should supplement iron. Creatine is also excellent. Other supplements.... meh. Those two have proven benefits though. I know nothing about the "craze" you're talking about. I wish more women knew how important it is to strength train. I wish PTs were all as good as mine (believe me, there are some clowns out there, as well as people who just genuinely don't have the knowledge, qualifications aren't worth a great deal unless you know how to seek out additional professional dev) and I wish good PTs were available to everyone. But most of all, I wish people stopped a) spreading nonsense about what weights do to women's bodies visually (hint: it just makes you look better) and b) that people would get a grip and let people be muscly if they want. They don't exist for you to look at.

Also, "toned" is a made up thing. It doesn't exist.

Who the hell are you to decide what's within the acceptable realms of 'feminine'?

Are women who are naturally flat-chested and straight-hipped also unfeminine to you because they don't have 'soft curves'? What about women with facial hair? Or women with short hair?

How about men who are fat and chubby? Are they somehow not masculine because they're not angular and muscley?

Do what you like with your body and let other women do what they want with theirs. A female body-builder is no less a woman than an hourglass pin-up girl. Women can look however they damn well want and reducing femininity to 'inner strength' and 'soft curves' is a pile of fucking bullshit.

So don’t lift weights.

Meanwhile, I’ll continue towards my goal of achieving thighs that could crush a watermelon 🙂