To ask what makes someone seem ‘classy’?

[Classynotme]

Not rich but the calm, serene and classy vibe that some people just give off?

To me it’s about being slow, polite and considered if that makes sense, never rushed. Plus looking well put together.

I’m always rushing and speaking too fast and seem harassed but I’d LOVE classier!

Kate M is considered ‘intellectually curious’?

Not the first phrase that comes to mind, but anyway…

Definitely. I saw Sue Nichols in the supermarket yesterday, and she was taking the time to chat to someone. She was very gracious and pleasant. She goes there a lot and is always like that. In contrast, a lot of the younger ones are not pleasant, and are giving off the don’t bother me vibes whilst at the same time drawing maximum attention to themselves.

She got a 2:1 from St Andrews so she’s educated which is the other half of the phrase I used

I've had the pleasure of getting completely blootered with Sue (we were both on a chat show and made good use of the post-broadcast hospitality). She was absolutely wonderful and nothing at all like the ridiculous notions of 'classy' mentioned on this thread. Quietly enjoying her champagne in moderation and resisting the urge to overshare she was not. And she was all the better for it!

One of the shittiest, most pathetic, laughable, and utterly fucking offensive threads I have read on here for a LONG time. Ticks so many boxes for being rude, offensive, pathetic, and nasty that I'm running out of ink!

Classy is ultimately about how you behave, not about what you wear or how many tattoos you have. It's about having principles and abiding by them, and rising above the behaviour of others who might try to drag you down to their level.

Agree it's an awful thread @ purple. Some of the answers...

This thread is so weird. Shoving ready meals in the oven is classy?

But like I said to the OP way back they fell at the first hurdle by using the word classy!

Gosh, children out of wedlock. 😱

I imagine all the self-professed classy ladies on this thread are secretly horrified.

her kids have nice names
Do your children not have nice names?

Classy...

Lol @Ticksallboxes

Was that all I said? Did you just read the sunglasses bit?
So sorry my mother brought me up to feel threatened by all other women! Don’t worry yourself I’m getting therapy.

She had a wedding ring on too…

my child has a lovely name, hers were just very posh sounding!

Ffs read the whole thing I read… she was just well put together overall and the sunglasses added to it! I was grateful as don’t have many mum friends. Some of you on here are just arseholes aren’t you!

The sunglasses bit stood out to me too, it just seems so…. sad 🤷‍♀️

The other bit that stood out to me was the “nice names”. It left me wondering about your own children’s names. Names are free, you can choose any you like. Surely you think your own children’s names are nice too?

@Whodoiwanttobe

I'm so sorry as I also thought it was sad you felt that way. I don't know you but you won't be inferior to her in the slightest as I'm sure you know really.

Can you just give her a break now?

Such bitchiness.

I’m beginning to see what you mean.

It can be interesting but some of the comments are very revealing about the posters.

A well adjusted ‘classy’ person doesn’t need to call people sad, tear them down, fat shame etc. That’s for lames.

Not bitchy at all, very genuine concern.

Very strange comment of yours. What is it about challenging classism that makes you feel so threatened?

Oh please.

The poster in question has said due to childhood issues she sometimes feels inferior. Your comment on it being ‘sad’ that she noticed her sunglasses and questioning her children’s names certainly didn’t come from a place of ‘concern’ and had nothing to do with classism.

You can now try to pretend it was concern but anyone can see through your comment.

Your question to me at the end is very strange indeed.

Ive contributed to this post and find it interesting so your condescending assumption is wrong on feeling ‘threatened’.

Nice try though.

Someone who isn’t judgemental or bitchy (this rules out most people on Mumsnet even if they think they’re classy for being rich). They have to be approachable and have clothes that fit them properly and no garish brand names on them. They can have tattoos but it depends on what they are.

This in spades. It’s about how you act, your baseline values and integrity. Not gossiping, not talking down to others, being generous in your assumptions, not reactive.

Nobody has suggested the poster is 'sad'.

People have commented that it is sad that she feels inferior to another woman on the basis of superficial things like a ring and sunglasses. And that it's society's ridiculous expectations as to how women should act (and think, and dress) - perpetuated by ridiculous threads like this - which are at fault.

According to this thread, if you're not slim/quiet/possessed of straight hair/unopinionated/entitled/wealthy/immaculate at all times you can't be 'classy'. And 'classy' is a desirable thing to be, apparently.

The poster isn't sad - the attitudes which led her to be in awe of a woman no better in any way than she is herself are sad. And do no favours to women whatsoever.