Weight loss via surgery 'cheating' comment

[PuttaMyDream]

In idle office conversation with a colleague. The subject of weight loss came up; I've lost around 6 stone since I started here so I look very different now.

She mentioned another colleague, who is also looking different after having a gastric band fitted, but colleague said she'd not lost weight 'properly' like me (as in, diet/exercise choices) and having surgery was 'cheating'.

However I think there's no easy way to lose weight, and from what little I know, weight loss surgery is tough going. I applaud anyone trying to improve their health, in any way.

aibu to think surgery isn't cheating at all and colleague is a bit judgemental?! I didn't know what to say.

I know two people who have undergone the surgery and it’s gruelling.

I’m on the pathway but very reluctant as the changes to your body are extreme.

YADNBU

And well done on your amazing loss 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

It’s not cheating at all. Does the colleague know the hoops you have to jump through to get gastric banding surgery?! All sorts of diets, and dietetics appointments. They don’t just whip you into surgery at the drop of a hat!

Of course it's cheating

I can only imagine how hard it is to go through surgery and having huge changes and adaptation to deal with, it must be harder in a lot of ways. And mentally I don't know how I'd cope.

Best of luck on your path, I hope everything works out really positively for you.

This is a matter of opinion and none of it really matters. There are people who say a C-section means you're not a real mother. You see, anyone can say anything no matter how absurd.

"cheating"? cheating what? I'd start by asking the person who said it exactly what they meant if I wanted to get into it. A simple 'what do you mean it's cheating?' and just letting them waffle until they impress themselves with their own stupidity.

This can be a fun work-place hobby.

I've lost 13.5 stone after a gastric bypass 2 years ago and I do class it as cheating a little bit - I don't actually care if others think it's cheating or not.

I went on holiday a few weeks ago and seat comfortably in the airplane seat, wore a bikini despite my bits of saggy skin and managed to not stuff myself at the buffet. It was an amazing experience for me and the first of many I hope as previously I would be so uncomfortable and self conscious I wouldn't enjoy it much at all.

Does it matter? It was a throw away comment.

You don't think it's cheating. She does think it's cheating ... <shrug>

I'm sure the person who actually had the surgery and has lost a load of weight is too busy being pleased with their new self to worry about what their work colleagues do or do not call it.

Well it ain’t a competition with rules so it can’t be cheating. It’s a bit like saying nicotine patches to give up smoking is cheating. Addiction and being obese are both illnesses with different pathways of treatment.

Well done to both of you and your colleague and @nellytheelephantscircus .

You can't cheat unless there are rules.

What does cheating mean in this context? Who would it possibly be unfair to? Are there rules around weight loss like it’s some sort of contest? That’s just silly.

Of course it isn’t cheating. That’s the duet of ignorant comment only made by people who don’t understand what that sort of surgery involves before, during and after the operation itself.

I don't think it's cheating and I think that it may prove a little more difficult to work with, in some ways. We know that overeating and gaining enough weight to qualify for a gastric band is mainly a psychological issue and while the gastric band may help with some triggers, it can't really eliminate whatever led the person to that point in the first place.

Every way is hard for its own reasons.

Congratulations on your success, OP. Hope you enjoy many healthy and happy years on it.

The whole notion of cheating in this context reflects how many people see excess weight as a moral failing rather than a health concern.

Saying that it's cheating implies that it's some sort of competition, which it isn't.

It's totally cheating!
There's losing weight through hard graft, over the course of many months and years - and then there's the surgery option.

Weight loss isn't a competitive sport with rules. The cheating comment is nasty and ridiculous. She doesn't know what the other person has gone through, how horrible some people are.

Is getting tutoring cheating? Is any kind of help cheating? Absurd.

The decision to undergo bariatric surgery is not one that anyone takes lightly. I am overweight due to a medical condition and medication. I eat generally healthily and I do a reasonable amount of exercise.

Like a pp, I have been referred to go onto the pathway. I've investigated it a lot and it isn't for the faint hearted. I'm still unsure whether or not I would actually be able to face going through with it. It is very major surgery and a massive change. It terrifies me and I am only now considering the possibility as all else seems to fail with me. So it may be necessary - if I can face it.

I wouldn't think of it as cheating as the actual weight reduction has the same cause: consumption of less food. The difference is the restriction on lower consumption - willpower or surgery.

I've heard the surgery is not pleasant or without risk so it's hardly an easy/ cheating option.

How is it cheating when weight loss isn't a competition?

It's cheating if you pay for weight loss surgery because you literally can't over eat but if you want it and can afford then it's your choice ! 🤷‍♀️

This makes no logical sense at all.

Cheating at what? If weight loss surgery is in the best interests of the individual then what's the problem? Strange attitude.

Weight loss surgery doesn't just make you thin. It's a tool. It's not guaranteed.

The side effects can be brutal and much worse than just being fat.

Do they know that they don't cut off the weight? Like you actually have to go lose it afterwards. And you have to eat blended food for a few weeks and then puréed etc.