Weight loss via surgery 'cheating' comment

[PuttaMyDream]

In idle office conversation with a colleague. The subject of weight loss came up; I've lost around 6 stone since I started here so I look very different now.

She mentioned another colleague, who is also looking different after having a gastric band fitted, but colleague said she'd not lost weight 'properly' like me (as in, diet/exercise choices) and having surgery was 'cheating'.

However I think there's no easy way to lose weight, and from what little I know, weight loss surgery is tough going. I applaud anyone trying to improve their health, in any way.

aibu to think surgery isn't cheating at all and colleague is a bit judgemental?! I didn't know what to say.

But obesity levels continue to rise rapidly suggesting perhaps that the availability of surgery as a "last resort" might deter some people from trying other methods.

I don’t think rising obesity levels suggest that at all. I haven’t seen any research suggesting a link between the existence of weight loss surgery and large numbers of people not trying other methods to lose weight. Everyone who is referred for weight loss surgery on the NHS has to have tried other methods to lose the weight.

I agree that there should be better psychological help (all kinds of help really) for people with disordered eating of all kinds. It’s appalling that this has been cut with so many more obese people after the pandemic.

Utterly ridiculous comment

a bit like saying riding an ebike is cheating to get from A to B or IVF is cheating to get a baby

it doesn’t matter how you do the journey it’s the end result that’s important

a bit like saying riding an ebike is cheating to get from A to B

But riding an ebike IS easier than riding a bike with no motor, using only your own steam!

I just don't think that 18 year olds having serious, life changing, avoidable surgery is something that should be supported.

I don't believe that by 18, people should be considering a "last resort" or can really claim they have "tried everything".

We need more, better, earlier intervention.
Obesity is increasing, bariatric surgery is increasing. It might help individuals but it's not going down a good route as a society/health care system

Good overview here
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7118002/

(And yes, I know the article is pro-surgery, I wanted to show how increasingly common it is now to refer adolescents for these procedures)

I just don't think that 18 year olds having serious, life changing, avoidable surgery is something that should be supported.

Have you actually read that article? It’s very much in favour of weight loss surgery. I’m really confused by what point you’re trying to make here.

I've seen a couple of obesity experts say that once you get to a certain weight there is a point of no return where if you lose the weight it would be pretty much impossible to keep it off long term as the body fights back and tries to put weight back on again. The experts were university professors rather than Facebook experts.

If a friend had this done I'd be pleased for them that they found a way to lose weight as I'd want the best for them. Thats normal isnt it? I wouldn't be scowling and resenting them and calling them a cheat. I'd be a frenemy if I did.

Matt lucas was saying a few years ago that a gastric band might be the next step for him. He's recently lost a lot of weight. If he's done it via a gastric band then good for him if it's got the result he wants

Yeah, a lot of experts and professors say a lot of stuff, @HibiscusIsland You can often find an expert proving one point and another expert proving the opposite.

There are plenty of people who have lost weight and kept it off, so I wonder what those expert university professors would say to them.

There are plenty of people who have lost weight and kept it off, so I wonder what those expert university professors would say to them.

Probably “congratulations”. The existence of these people doesn’t prove that weight loss surgery is unnecessary. It’s clear that there are a group of people unable to lose weight without resorting to this type of surgery.

Were they severely obese and kept it off long term? I'll listen to professors from top unis rather than an Internet random "expert" like yourself thank you 😀

If a friend had this done I'd be pleased for them. Thats normal isnt it? I wouldn't be scowling and resenting them and calling them a cheat.

Me too.
But quietly I'd be thinking they took the easy route.
That's the thing with anonymous online forums - you can share what you REALLY think!

Yes, many severely obese people have lost weight and kept it off long term.

It's by no means impossible. Most of us know someone who's 'Lost tonnes of weight'. It's not even rare. If you think you need to be a professor to know that, you probably want to look at getting out a bit more.

Thanks for the petty dig.

But quietly I'd be thinking they took the easy route.

Maybe when your friend tells you everything they’ve been through, you might see you judged their choice unfairly.

Yep, hide behind a screen and show how ignorant you really are 😂

@coffeecupsandfairylights I'm not sure how I could do anything other than 'hide behind a screen' on an internet forum! That's sort of how they work!

Well yes, but you seem proud of your "surgery is the easy route" comments even when people with personal experience have tried to point out that it's anything but easy.

If you're confident in your opinions, why not say them IRL?

I did post another post immediately afterwards to clarify my point.

Those are bariatric surgeons - in the USA, so they have a big vested interest in pushing bariatric surgery for younger and younger patients. I was trying (badly, I'm tired) to make the point that this surgery is being used more and more, on younger and younger patients, and that I believe this to be a bad thing on a society-wide level.

But quietly I'd be thinking they took the easy route.

I’ve no experience of surgery so can’t comment on whether this is accurate, but what does strike me is the presumption that there’s something wrong with taking the easy route.

Unless (as others have suggested) someone sees obesity as a moral failing to be atoned for through the mortification of the flesh, why would the easy route be a bad thing?

Sometimes people tell 'white lies' to their friends because they don't want to upset them. It's called 'tact'. People are generally more honest on anonymous internet forums.

If surgery was 'anything but the easy route', why recommend it? If it's more difficult than doing it another way, why on earth would you take all the risks?

A society that is increasingly obese, depressed ,medicalised, on more and more drugs, having ever more invasive surgery, doing more and more permanent damage to people's bodies at a younger and younger age could be seen as 'a bad thing'.

If surgery was 'anything but the easy route', why recommend it? If it's more difficult than doing it another way, why on earth would you take all the risks?

For certain patients, it is more likely to be successful and more likely to lead to better health in the long term.

I had gastric sleeve surgery 5 years ago . The further you get out the harder it becomes it really is life altering surgery . A big operation too

But if you're so convinced your opinion is okay, why would you be worried about offending people? You can give your opinion tactfully even if you disagree with other people.

And sometimes people go for surgery because they feel like they've tried all the other options and failed, and they're at the point where they either risk surgery, or risk dying or becoming bedridden from their obesity/food addiction.

As a society, we are not travelling in a positive direction.

Do you think it's really OK to perform this surgery on an 18-year-old (or even younger - in America they are referring pre-teens)?

Sure, I agree, but that wasn’t the person I quoted’s objection. Their objection was that it’s the “easy route”. I’m interested in what underlies that and why they would prefer someone to take a harder route. Genuinely think it’s tied up with moral notions of sin and atonement for some people.