Weight loss via surgery 'cheating' comment

[PuttaMyDream]

In idle office conversation with a colleague. The subject of weight loss came up; I've lost around 6 stone since I started here so I look very different now.

She mentioned another colleague, who is also looking different after having a gastric band fitted, but colleague said she'd not lost weight 'properly' like me (as in, diet/exercise choices) and having surgery was 'cheating'.

However I think there's no easy way to lose weight, and from what little I know, weight loss surgery is tough going. I applaud anyone trying to improve their health, in any way.

aibu to think surgery isn't cheating at all and colleague is a bit judgemental?! I didn't know what to say.

In what way? Who or what is being cheated? Cheating usually means that someone has taken the easy route; I don't think that's the case with bariatric surgery.

Yes but the penalty for doing it with surgery is you have to live like this for the rest of your life, which I really don't think is easier

That's a really good point. My quality of life would be genuinely damaged if I didn't have the opportunity to have an 'off' day now and then - fortunately I've maintained at size 8/10 and have accepted I'll always have to be conscious of my diet (like cutting back for a day or two after indulging at a BBQ!) But if that choice was taken away, I don't think I could mentally handle it. It would take away so much.

Bet she doesn't think having a C-section is a proper birth, either!

There will always be idiots, OP. Pay them no mind.

It's only cheating or the easy way out if you think that being obese is a moral failing which you should make amends for by doing something difficult and hard work to resolve. Only the hard of thinking see it that way.

Most reasonable people realise that obesity is a complex chronic health condition which we are only barely starting to understand. Bariatric surgery is life saving treatment and is just as valid an option as any other life saving medical treatments are.

I wouldn't take any notice of the opinion of someone so petty and small-minded.

And I wouldn't judge anyone who is struggling so much with their weight that they make the (I would imagine very serious and scary) decision to undergo surgery to drastically minimise the size of their stomach - and deal with all the side effects that causes.

Silly woman!

Sounds like the same type of people who say a caesarean is the 'easy option' op.

Dickheads!

@Applesandroses
Buying clothes is cheating, its not like sewing your own and doing it properly
Buying socks is cheating, its not like knitting your own and doing it properly
Buying a cake is cheating, its not like baking your own and doing it properly
Buying veg is cheating, its not like growing your own and doing it properly
Driving a car is cheating, its not like walking on your own feet and doing it properly

But thats just the point - 'cheating' is the wrong word, but I'd be SO much more impressed with anyone going to the effort of knitting, growing their own, baking, and walking instead of driving - rather than taking the easy option.

But thats just the point - 'cheating' is the wrong word, but I'd be SO much more impressed with anyone going to the effort of knitting, growing their own, baking, and walking instead of driving - rather than taking the easy option.

In what way is weight loss surgery an easy option? Have you missed the posts from people who have been through it describing how hard it is? It’s just a different kind of hard.

If there is an “easy option”, it’s not taking any action at all and staying morbidly obese although that comes with it’s own issues.

It's not cheating-cheating doesn't come in to it. Clearly it's mega surgery with life long implications.

Anecdotally I often see threads on MN where someone posts wanting to lose significant weight and very quickly there's posters asking if the OP has considered surgery. That always puzzles me a bit, and so I do think that sometimes it is viewed (wrongly) as the 'easy' option.

I agree that unless you've had struggles with weight you don't know what it's like, because I myself find it incredibly hard to understand the choices people make around food. For example, I can't understand why it's difficult to just not buy stuff that you're not supposed to be eating or you know you're going to binge on....but that's the point, I don't understand because I haven't been in that position and I think unless you have it's just not possible to appreciate how fucking hard it must be.

@PurpleDaisies

*In what way is weight loss surgery an easy option? Have you missed the posts from people who have been through it describing how hard it is? It’s just a different kind of hard.

If there is an “easy option”, it’s not taking any action at all and staying morbidly obese although that comes with it’s own issues.*

If surgery wasn't the easier option, it wouldn't exist in the first place.

Ignore her, her comments are ridiculous.

Gastric surgery is not a quick fix it takes hard-work, commitment with months of adjustments emotionally mentally and physically.

Not easy in the slightest.

Congratulations on the achievement you worked hard towards. 👏

If surgery wasn't the easier option, it wouldn't exist in the first place.
Tbf it is the last option when all else fails not necessarily easy.

I watched my friend going through it, awful.

But surgery isn't the easy option, it's just the quicker option.

Yes, if you survive the surgery and follow the diet, you lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time, but your life is never going to be the same again. No more free choices about how you eat, no going out for luxury three-course meals, no big Christmas dinners, no snacks in the evening, no lazy afternoon BBQ's with food, desserts and beer...that's all gone, forever.

And even WITH surgery, lots of people fail. It's not this easy solution that some people seem to be making it out to be.

So cancer treatment is the easy option? What on earth is your point?

Yes. It's not "cheating" because it's not a game or a competition.

But if it didn't make it easier, it wouldn't exist.

People who lose weight without surgery are doing it the hard way. Which is admirable in my opinion. (And has less impact on the NHS etc - even if the initial surgery is done abroad or privately, complications are common)

I wouldn't judge anyone for having surgery but I wouldn't admire them for it either.

What a weird comment.

It exists because without it, people will literally eat themselves to death.

There isn't an option with cancer treatment to do it yourself with hard work and willpower.

If surgery wasn't the easier option, it wouldn't exist in the first place.

”Easier” is totally the wrong word for it. For people who have tried everything else, it a an extreme option that might be successful for them where other things have failed. That does not make it an easy option.

Its a weight loss tool. So for every 2lb you lose, it helps you lose an extra 1lb.
I wouldn't call it cheating but if someone is so big, like 20+ stone it can be life changing.
You can easily gain all that weight back though if you haven't changed your mindset.

People who have the gastric sleeve etc should speak to a counsellor and a dietitian.

People who lose weight without surgery are doing it the hard way. Which is admirable in my opinion. (And has less impact on the NHS etc - even if the initial surgery is done abroad or privately, complications are common)

Successful weight loss surgery saves the NHS money because people develop fewer long term health problems than if they’d remained obese.

It would be brilliant if everyone were able to fix their weight problems without surgery through sheer willpower alone but for some people that’s just not possible. It’s a shame there isn’t more sympathy and understanding for those who struggle.

I don't think surgery is the EASIER option.

It just takes away your ability to fail.

I would have relapsed to to binging a hundred times if I wasn't sleeved.

I simply cannot, physically, do it.

I still wnat to psychologically.

I still have all the cravings, the longing, the sadness, the emotion.

And on top of that I now how physical restrictions and issues (TMI I know but to show you the reality.... I soiled myself yesterday :( which was awful)

So it's not easier it just FORCES you to stick to your diet or you become seriously ill

Before my op I was pre diabetic, had sleep apnea, knee issues and had an underactive thyroid they were pushing me to start meds for.

All those issues are now rectified.

I still have MH problems.

I think seeing comparisons being made between being fat and having cancer demonstrate how barmy we are as a nation when it comes to this subject - and just look at the state we're in as a result...

But obesity levels continue to rise rapidly suggesting perhaps that the availability of surgery as a "last resort" might deter some people from trying other methods.

There are people in their teens and 20s getting this surgery.

They should be investing the money in decent therapy for all eating disorders, not spending millions on interventions like surgery which come much too late.

I've been bulimic and anorexic for over 25 years and the "help" on the NHS is essentially non existent until you're at death's door.

Binge eating is a psychological disorder and should be treated as such.

People who think weight loss surgery is cheating or a quick fix are incredibly ignorant. I've had a gastric band for 10 years and it was made clear right from the beginning that it's a tool, not some miracle cure (not that I expected it to be) 10 years later, I'm still struggling with my weight going up and down, it's bloody hard work.