Denied boarding due to excess alcohol. What happens next when abroad?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I will try to keep the details vague and I know this isn't an aibu but I am posting for traffic

I flew home from holiday recently. At check in there was a woman in a wheelchair who looked unwell travelling with her dp and 2 young children. She was at our gate lying on the floor and her partner said she was drunk and had been the whole week they were away. He said he had had enough. The gate staff asked cabin crew who denied the woman boarding. At this stage her dp was openly crying and people were being really kind helping him to source spare nappies for his youngest and giving water etc. One woman in particular was being incredibly kind and helpful.

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So her dp and children boarded and she was left behind. Her dp said she had money but I don't know how much. I am certain insurance won't pay out for a hotel etc but she was obviously very vulnerable and it has been playing on my mind. I don't know whether the airline would have had a duty of care but the last I saw of her was her slumped sideways in the wheelchair at the gate. Violent or not she must have been very frightened and I don't know whether the airline would have looked after her. Does anyone know whether they would have ensured she was safe?

I agree. My mother was like this too claiming she was abused when she was the violent one.

That is awful op. I think as the toddler was hitting the dad it’s most likely he has seen the mother do this. But no one knows for sure (on mn at least) and it can’t be a nice environment for the kids

I had an Aunt who was an abusive and nasty drunk. She carried out a number of assaults on her husband and I am afraid on her children. I am sad to say that her husband for many years was just told to put up with it. Eventually he left with the kids which created a whole lot of extra drama. My Aunt eventually died from her addiction. Even now reading this thread I can see why a lot of people judged him and felt he needed to put up with the physical abuse he received.

Why didn't he leave her at the resort or hotel?

Firstly she wouldn't have had a room the hotel or resort would just have kicked her out and potentially called the police. She would actually be safer at the airport.

Secondly she would just be classed as "missing her flight" rather than "denied boarding" and it used to be the case that an airline would offer you an alternative flight when one became available at a reduced rate when you'd sobered up
However if you've missed it then tough shit you're on your own.

So really she was better off being taken to the airport.

Except ‘more likely’ ≠ ‘always’.

Agreed on the nappies/water.

Unfortunately it’s terrifyingly easy to lead a drunk woman away from safety. I’m not saying he should have stayed, but she wasn’t safe.

No it serioisly isn't 'always'

*seriously

Unfortunately it’s terrifyingly easy to lead a drunk woman away from safety. I’m not saying he should have stayed, but she wasn’t safe.

And that is on her on this occasion for choosing to get this drunk and being aggressive and violent. If my children weren't safe, I'd choose them to remove from this situation rather than staying to look after an adult who'd got themselves into that situation.

What a horrible story
this would stick with me too OP

I was a bit confused why she was in a wheelchair though. If she has a disability rather than just being drunk that would change my opinion (particularly if the disability means she might not be able to easily take care of herself or if something like a diabetic episode caused the behavior)

Me too. I thought she had a health condition and might not actually be drunk.

Maybe the toddler is used to seeing dad being slapped and thinks that’s what you do to get your way with dad- you slap him.

I have come back to say that ground crew can’t always tell the difference between ill, disabled, anxious and intoxicated people. There are many stories of people with disabilities being denied boarding because ground crew are concerned about the safety risks if they let someone on board who is weaving and slurring their speech. They’re also terrified of being sued if they make the wrong call either way. I would have made the call to deny this woman boarding myself when I was flying due to the risk of violence and/or vomit. Part of me wonders if she may have been sick while she was away and her DH assumed that being drunk wasn’t as bad. (COVID, etc..) I have seen some really weird shit happen on aircraft and in airports. You just don’t know what’s going on in another relationship or family situation. All you can do is pass it over to the relevant authorities and hope for the best.

Your situation was completely different as your ex was on his feet, fully conscious and actively threatening you. There were also no children involved that you needed to protect.

In the OPs situation the abusive drunk was semi-comatose and slumped in a wheel chair or passed out on the floor.

Are you saying you wouldn’t have tried to make a break for it if you’d been in that situation? Where your abuser is incapacitated, not a threat and you have DC depending on you?

I think the toddler slapping the dad is probably more about not liking to see him cry. As in hitting the tears away?

My son was a hitter when he was very small and he was raised in a loving environment with no violence at all modelled. He may have ‘learned’ it from other children at nursery or perhaps it’s natural expression when vocabulary is limited. He’s also got the most placid even temperament as a teen.

so I just think toddler and hitting isn’t always an indicator of something sinister.

All I can think is “those poor kids”.

I’d have been concerned too, OP. Other than alerting the police on landing and asking them to do a welfare check on the Dad and DC, I’m not sure what more you could have done. The whole thing sounds really sad.

I never understand people who drink to excess before flights. Just why??

Hopefully this will be the wake-up call he need to LTB

To report to the police? When tbe only crime is being drunk & disorderly?

Like most scenarios you only get a little glimpse of what happened through someone else's eyes and make up the rest of the story as fits.

Perhaps he simply ran out because he thought he had enough. Those last few he thought were in the bag weren't there. Perhaps he's an incompetent clown who allowed them to run out, after all anyone who runs out of stuff is obviously incompetent right?. Who knows, it happens.

Poor kids, I can’t imagine what their home life is like. Regardless of whether the mum was vulnerable or not or whether the dad is abusive it looks like a shit show for the little ones.

It's unfortunate but in my experience crew have a pretty good radar for this sort of situation, and they aren't daft.

In case of the incident described by the OP if somebody rocks up at the aircraft door in a wheelchair in need of assistance then they are going to be asked directly what help they need (especially if that wheelchair hasn't been pre-booked).

That means the passenger who needs assistance is certainly going to come into close contact with the crew....if the passenger is intoxicated to any significant degree the crew will know quickly, they certainly won't need any help in diagnosis from the DP..

The point of law that then comes into play is clear cut (certainly as it applies to most countries/most airlines) - denied boarding, and there are no get outs, e.g. for having kids in tow or being part of a group.

As other have mentioned already what usually then happens is that person gets handed back to the gate staff and they take the passenger back airside. If there are concerns about fitness/duty of care then the police might well get involved and may well take over.

TBH I'll be honest and say I can't imagine crewmembers rushing off to contact SS having arrived at destination simply on the basis of a denied boarding..If they find out more I guess that might be a different story.

My grandson hits me in the face all the time.

Withdrawn and resigned is not the same as reluctant.

Of course. A drunk incapable woman is typically much more vulnerable than a man in the same condition, so clearly any one with any intelligence would know it is objectively more concerning. Whether one is concerned about the risk to drunk strangers or not is down to the individual, but I don't see the point of trying to shoe horn another tiresome double standards message in, when it's quite obvious one risk is greater than the other.

Poor woman. Alcoholism is a dreadful illness. Poor kids and family. What a horrible situation for them

I hope this is a turning point for her and she is able to receive some help

THIS ⬆️

The dad and kids need help and need to be rid of this behaviour. I hope they get it.

If really doesn’t sound like the dad deliberately got her drunk.

On a side note: What is it with British people drinking so much on holiday? Obviously with All Inclusive, the temptation is there. Honestly, what a crap way to spend a holiday!