To be mad with a nanny

[teomama]

Our lovely nanny had to take a day off and I called an agency for a replacement service for my 5 month old twins. Their dad is away for business and I struggle to do the 24/7 twin shifts alone. The nanny they sent had a nice resume and good references and I was happy to welcome her home. First red light: upon arrival, she complimented our home and in a couple of minutes proceeded to ask if we owned the place, what we do for a living and how much we'd paid for it. That made me feel really uncomfortable, as I was not happy to discuss the family's financials with a stranger.
Midway through the sit, she said she needed to go to the pharmacy to get a COVID test, as she'd started to feel unwell. I was absolutely shocked, offer her a lateral flow and suggested she's free to go home. However, the test was negative and she finished the sit, despite my reassurance that it's ok if she wants to rest.
She did the core work around the children well, was otherwise polite and pleasant. However, this very intrusive question plus the COVID scare left me quite upset with her work. I didn't give any negative feedback but in perspective, I think I should have. I worry about my babies getting COVID from her, as the lateral flow tests are not always reliable, and I am angry at myself for letting a stranger ask about my family's income and living arrangements. I am not sure if it's worth picking up with the agency as I am surely not rebooking her. AIBU to be upset about this?

Yes YABU.

The random testing and personal questions aren't great but I do think you're taking it a bit too seriously.

If she felt unwell, taking a covid test was the responsible thing to do.

If you wanted her to leave if she felt slightly unwell (which is what you're suggesting, she wouldn't have got a PCR test back during the shift), you should have said so.

The questioning thing doesn't sound great, but also not the end of the world.

YABU

Twins though. Lovely 😊

Her questions were a bit personal but she was just making small talk (and complimented your house)

As for the covid test, she did exactly the right thing. The minute she felt unwell she alerted you and took a test. The alternative was not telling you and potentially having covid around your children, which you literally just said was a fear.

I can’t see she did anything wrong at all.

🤣 if that's all you have to worry about..........🧐😳😱

I wouldn’t rebook her and I would give feedback. The intrusive questions are odd at best.

Covid test.. not so much.. I am vaccinated and caught covid a few weeks ago. I woke up feeling a little grotty but put it down to a busy weekend.. as the day went on, I started to feel worse and called a client to let them know, I tested and then choose to cancel the rest of my plans for the day even though isolation is not currently required. ..

The questions were a bit intrusive but maybe it's a cultural difference and she didn't realise it would be rude. I doubt it was intentional.

As for the Covid test it sounds like she started to feel rough half way through,she couldn't really have helped that.

Overall, I feel like you might be making a mountain out of a molehill.

We have had nannies lie, ignore and be uncaring towards children etc so in context this doesn't seem like a big deal.

Yabu. She asked a few questions. Yes annoying and she should have more cop on than that but you could have said I dont want to answer that. They were just questions .

The covid thing, weird of her to mention it like that but your regular nanny could easily pass covid along unknowingly.

I would forget about it now if it were me.

😭

“proceeded to ask if we owned the place, what we do for a living and how much we'd paid for it.”

I’m British. I don’t find any of those questions intrusive, actually quite normal.
House prices (perhaps due to zoopla and Rightmove?) are one of the areas that I find people will openly talk money.
She didn’t ask you how you’d funded the house purchase or what you salary was, that would have been instrusive. I think you’re being ridiculously over sensitive about polite and normal small talk.

I personally don’t think anything she has done was rude in any way .

All the best and awwwwww, as for the information I can understand your perspectives, but to some x intelligence is small talk, to others it's the whole above top secret files, etc

I'm more 😮that you couldn't manage your own kids for one day.

You couldn’t handle your children for one day?

yikes.

Ok.

First red light: upon arrival, she complimented our home and in a couple of minutes proceeded to ask if we owned the place, what we do for a living and how much we'd paid for it

Erm that is not a ‘red light’ that’s called making conversation, or maybe she’s interested in buying a property in the area? Also I don’t understand what she did wrong with saying she felt unwell and the Covid test. YABU.

Ah twins, such a Mumsnet tradition.

My thoughts too...

YABU. Covid test when feeling unwell is responsible, would you rather she kept quiet and stayed around your babies all day thinking she had covid?

Jesus. Sounds like polite conversation to me.

Say what?

I have twins - please ignore others judging you for struggling - they have no idea of your circumstances. My mum had 5 children under the age of 7 by the time she was 28 - when she looked after my twins as babies she would say she had found it easier to look after 5 kids of different ages even if they were all under 7 than look after my twins by herself. The posters attacking you for getting help is appalling - for all they know your twins could have special needs or have been prem or sick or just not good sleepers or eaters or you could have post natal depression or whatever. You do you and if you need help ignore people who judge you.
The nanny was being over familiar - its highly inappropriate for anyone to ask your income or house price let alone someone you have hired. For me this would have been a red flag for whether she had poor boundaries and she would not have been invited back.