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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be mad with a nanny

136 replies

teomama · 21/06/2022 22:21

Our lovely nanny had to take a day off and I called an agency for a replacement service for my 5 month old twins. Their dad is away for business and I struggle to do the 24/7 twin shifts alone. The nanny they sent had a nice resume and good references and I was happy to welcome her home. First red light: upon arrival, she complimented our home and in a couple of minutes proceeded to ask if we owned the place, what we do for a living and how much we'd paid for it. That made me feel really uncomfortable, as I was not happy to discuss the family's financials with a stranger.
Midway through the sit, she said she needed to go to the pharmacy to get a COVID test, as she'd started to feel unwell. I was absolutely shocked, offer her a lateral flow and suggested she's free to go home. However, the test was negative and she finished the sit, despite my reassurance that it's ok if she wants to rest.
She did the core work around the children well, was otherwise polite and pleasant. However, this very intrusive question plus the COVID scare left me quite upset with her work. I didn't give any negative feedback but in perspective, I think I should have. I worry about my babies getting COVID from her, as the lateral flow tests are not always reliable, and I am angry at myself for letting a stranger ask about my family's income and living arrangements. I am not sure if it's worth picking up with the agency as I am surely not rebooking her. AIBU to be upset about this?

OP posts:
Snoopsnoggysnog · 22/06/2022 11:15

MissMaple82 · 22/06/2022 09:27

So you hired a nanny for this one week?? And she was lovely but was off for 1 day?? Well you didn't say this, and regardless, I'm sure you could still manage that 1 day

Why are you the judge of what the OP can and can’t manage? Surely that’s up to her and you have no idea of her situation, her babies and no doubt have not had twins yourself. It can be relentless.

Franca123 · 22/06/2022 11:34

Definitely a red flag. Who asks those sorts of questions? And the covid thing is a bit weird. I might not give feedback to the agency unless pushed as it's not concrete enough. And ignore the weirdos who think looking after twins is a walk in the park.

JellyBellyNelly · 22/06/2022 11:34

mokololo · 22/06/2022 08:05

What you paid for your house is a matter of public record. They can just google it, so asking you is just making conversation.

Nope. It’s being rude. And if a person would go as far as googling it doesn’t say anything good about them.

teomama · 22/06/2022 11:37

Thanks a lot @AlopeciaStrong, much appreciated! We struggle with their schedule and still get some pretty bad days and nights, though it’s getting more manageable! My mother has dementia and is unfortunately not able to help. Between this, managing the babies and my husband being away, hiring professional help seems to be the only way to manage sometimes.

OP posts:
JellyBellyNelly · 22/06/2022 11:41

MissMaple82 · 22/06/2022 09:20

Neither, we just talk sense. Wtf can't cope on theor own for 1 day! Even if I were a billionaire, I wouldn't have a nanny to help look after my new babies. These babies probably ly have more if a bond will the I'll nanny than their mother

Perhaps someone who isn’t feeling very well.

Perhaps someone who just wanted an extra pair of hands around.

Perhaps someone who is working from home even if the children are only 5 months old. For Eg where I live women only get 40 days maternity leave.

Plus a whole lot more other reasons that are none of your business.

JellyBellyNelly · 22/06/2022 11:42

MissMaple82 · 22/06/2022 09:20

Neither, we just talk sense. Wtf can't cope on theor own for 1 day! Even if I were a billionaire, I wouldn't have a nanny to help look after my new babies. These babies probably ly have more if a bond will the I'll nanny than their mother

I think that all your post has done is highlight that you don’t know what you’re talking about and that you have no idea as to what having a nanny entails.

Franca123 · 22/06/2022 14:34

I love the idea that someone who could afford help with two babies would choose not to have any help just ........ because....... Cracks me up. Like anyone would actually take that choice. Good luck is what I say.

Basilbrushgotfat · 22/06/2022 15:33

MissMaple82 · 22/06/2022 09:20

Neither, we just talk sense. Wtf can't cope on theor own for 1 day! Even if I were a billionaire, I wouldn't have a nanny to help look after my new babies. These babies probably ly have more if a bond will the I'll nanny than their mother

Well bully for you @MissMaple82

Frankly, unless you have twins or triplets your opinion is irrelevant

Hoppinggreen · 22/06/2022 15:35

MolliciousIntent · 21/06/2022 23:16

I'm more 😮that you couldn't manage your own kids for one day.

It’s twins though

girlmom21 · 22/06/2022 15:36

Frankly, unless you have twins or triplets your opinion is irrelevant

Even if she has twins or triplets her opinion is irrelevant, to be fair.

Basilbrushgotfat · 22/06/2022 15:37

Good point @girlmom21

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