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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to Glastonbury?

514 replies

greentreesgreengrass · 21/06/2022 14:37

DP and I got Glasto tickets for 2020, now of course moved to finally be this week! hooray!

We have a 12 week old DS who we'll be leaving with my parents. We're away tomorrow to Tuesday as having a couple of days away to recover from the festival after!

People have seemed a little judgy about this. do you think it's fine? we will of course be going anyway but interested to know what people think.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/06/2022 15:51

Why don't you take baby with you? I'm guessing because it's not convenient as you want to get off your face, hence the extra days off to 'recover.'

You're not exactly making your baby a priority here. Of course you need a break and a night out now and again but I don't think I'd do what you're doing. But you're doing it anyway so not sure why you posted to be honest.

MayMoveMayNot · 21/06/2022 15:52

Good for you, I'd go.

SuperSange · 21/06/2022 15:53

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/06/2022 15:49

I think it’s weird you’d want to since you asked. If you were my friend I’d worry you hadn’t formed a healthy attachment to your very young baby.

Plans change when you bring a child into the world. Part of being a good committed parent is putting your child’s needs above your wishes.

👏👏

oakleaffy · 21/06/2022 15:55

Jadedandlost · 21/06/2022 15:43

Eye roll from me too. It could be that he’s chilled because he doesn’t have colic rather than due to your parenting?

Our DS was an ''Easy'' baby, but definitely not because of our {Un~chilled} parenting! :)

Chilled can also mean ''Lazy'' as in not seeing to a young one's physical and emotional needs.

I've never hears of such a young baby being left by choice by the parents...Even if a child is hospitalised, the mum is allowed to stay alongside.

LovePoppy · 21/06/2022 15:56

Have been encouraged to take breaks away a few hours here and there, a night out with friends- lucky that DS is a very chilled baby (maybe because we're very chilled parents!)

You are unreasonable just for this. For someone who doesn't want to be judged, you're pretty judgey yourself

GrendelsGrandma · 21/06/2022 15:58

Well, on the one hand you have music and dancing in a field.

On the other you have a tiny creature who has never been more than a few metres from you in its short life and who relies on you for everything.

I'm sure your parents could take care of the immediate needs but I don't think it's fair to leave such a tiny baby for an extended period without a better reason than enjoying yourself. Which you might not, because you'll be worried about the baby.

It is judgy, I'm judging you for not putting a newborn baby first.

WeLoveYouMissHanigan · 21/06/2022 15:59

Honestly OP I think that’s appalling.

I left my baby at 5 months old to go to a wedding and that was only because my husband was best man.

Scottishgirl85 · 21/06/2022 16:00

It would be a very unusual thing to do, yes. Presume you're not breast-feeding/expressing which could be an issue. Have your parents practiced settling in the middle of the night? I would feel guilty and would worry your parents wouldn't get any sleep!

indoorplantqueen · 21/06/2022 16:01

I would go to the festival but if I had a 12 wk old I know I'd be staying the bare minimum and wouldn't go off for 2 days to recover. I'd want to go home, get my baby, put pj's on and get a takeaway!

Also your baby is unlikely to be as chilled with people who are not his parents.

heldinadream · 21/06/2022 16:03

Team judgypants here. It's all been said.

Please come back and tell us how chilled your baby is after you've basically destroyed his trust in the universe.
I know I'm probably exaggerating. I find this very triggering, as a person who was abandoned as a child.

Scottishgirl85 · 21/06/2022 16:03

Oh and both my girls have been super chilled, slept 10 hours from 10 weeks old etc. But I couldn't have left them for that long at that age.

orwellwasright · 21/06/2022 16:03

We mothers like to over estimate our own importance

Not sure that entirely holds up if your baby's EBF.

WilsonMilson · 21/06/2022 16:04

Wtf? You’re leaving a 12 week old baby for 6 days to go off to a festival? I’ve heard it all now.

galvanizethis · 21/06/2022 16:08

Your parents are amazing! Have a blast! I wouldn't have done it myself but I kind of respect the fact you can as I was just too scared to leave mine until they were 18 months old (so probably the other end of the spectrum)

goldfinchonthelawn · 21/06/2022 16:08

I would never have done this. I knew a woman who left her son for two weeks at that age (with grandparents) so she could go to a wedding abroad and then on holiday. I was so judgemental of her then.

Now, I think: why not? They'll survive. You'll be happy. You don't have to be a slave to your child for them to thrive. If they are well cared for by someone familiar to them, all is well.

Silverswirl · 21/06/2022 16:09

No I wouldn’t have left for that long and imo you shouldn’t be, no matter how willing grandparents are.

NKFell · 21/06/2022 16:10

I'd have done it! Have a lovely time!

SandyWedges · 21/06/2022 16:11

The first few weeks they are just getting used to trusting you and being in the world so it seems a bit harsh to leave them especially that long.

Harridan1981 · 21/06/2022 16:13

All the nopes. Babies that age are still a part of you. The odd night as a must maybe.

Fuwari · 21/06/2022 16:13

I find it a bit odd when people won’t leave their baby for 5 minutes. Although yes 6 days may be a stretch. But people nowadays seem so much more reluctant to be parted from their infants than when I had young children. My DSis still hasn’t been allowed her grandchild overnight and he’s 4!! (And no, there’s nothing about her that would make her an unsuitable carer).

Silverswirl · 21/06/2022 16:14

when you have a newborn (and 12 weeks is only just coming out of the 4th trimester) your priority is to that baby. Not to having a good time. A couple of hours here and there sure. Even a day. But 6 nights? Tbh I actually think it’s bordering on being destabilising for the baby. His attachment is to you (I am assuming you are the primary caregiver) not to grandparents. Wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s not quite the chilled baby he currently is when you get back and if it were me I would be worried about a personality change.

Haribosweets · 21/06/2022 16:14

Another thing to add is - what happens if he gets ill or admitted to hospital? Glastonbury is known for hardly any phone signal and if you did receive a call saying he was unwell would you over the limit alcohol wise so couldn't drive. That would be my concern but I'm a worrier and I wouldn't relax or enjoy myself. I've been invited to Glastonbury when my son was approx 7 or 8 years and I still didn't go as far too long to be away from him.

CavernousScream · 21/06/2022 16:15

I think it’s quite unusual to be enthusiastic about leaving a 12 week old for six nights. Of course you can, of course the grandparents will do a fine job. But by the sixth night will you actually be feeling relaxed or will you be desperately missing your baby?

thelittlestbird · 21/06/2022 16:15

We got Glastonbury tickets in 2020 but now have a seven month old who refuses bottles so we're not going. Even if she did have a bottle, we'd not feel able to leave her for more than two nights.

orwellwasright · 21/06/2022 16:15

For those that wouldn't be able to leave baby- is it because you'd miss them too much?

You're asking like that's a weird thing.

This is the point for you isn't it, OP. You're able to leave your baby because you won't miss him much. That's what you're saying whether you realise that or not.

Do you think you're taking this 'chilled' thing a bit too far? 'Baby? What baby? Oh that baby? Shit! What about glasto?!'

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