Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to Glastonbury?

514 replies

greentreesgreengrass · 21/06/2022 14:37

DP and I got Glasto tickets for 2020, now of course moved to finally be this week! hooray!

We have a 12 week old DS who we'll be leaving with my parents. We're away tomorrow to Tuesday as having a couple of days away to recover from the festival after!

People have seemed a little judgy about this. do you think it's fine? we will of course be going anyway but interested to know what people think.

OP posts:
Astrabees · 21/06/2022 15:29

I think this is fine, provided your parents are 100% on board. What people on MN forget is that your parents and in laws brought up the lovely people that you and your DH have become and should be more than capable of looking after a baby. it is so hard as a first time parent not to become totally consumed by the child which is not entirely a good thing. Have a few days fun with your DH, you will return happy and refreshed.

ColourMeExhausted · 21/06/2022 15:30

Never mind leaving the baby (which I'd never do), I'd never have been ready for a full on festival like Glasto after giving birth 12 weeks ago so I'm impressed by that. But nope, could not have done that. Great you have a chilled baby for now but don't peddle that 'chilled parents' crap on here. You won't get a good reaction.

Tubs11 · 21/06/2022 15:30

Oh and baby is chilled because I'm chilled is utter bs!

SuperSange · 21/06/2022 15:30

Have you read about the 4th trimester OP? Not a chance in hell I'd leave mine at 12 weeks. They should still be a part of you then. I think it's really sad. Poor little one.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 21/06/2022 15:31

How hard are you going to need 2 days recovery? I used to get home 4am on the Monday after queuing to get out then be at work having showered by 8.30. I went Friday to early hours Monday leaving Dd with my parents. She was 16 months old though and I was technically working while there. Taking a full week for a 3 day festival when you have a 3 month old is not something I’d do but I’m not you.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 21/06/2022 15:31

greentreesgreengrass · 21/06/2022 14:51

I'm just interested in opinions and experiences really- not sure how abnormal we were. seems a few others would do the same but not all so definitely in the minority

Grandparents are more than happy to have him and encouraged us to take a couple of extra days!

I obviously love and completely adore DS, but more than happy to leave him with people I trust implicitly. Have been encouraged to take breaks away a few hours here and there, a night out with friends- lucky that DS is a very chilled baby (maybe because we're very chilled parents!)

For those that wouldn't be able to leave baby- is it because you'd miss them too much?

It’s because I don’t think it would be in there best interests to be away from their primary carer and main attachment at that age and certainly not for that long.

SomePosters · 21/06/2022 15:34

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2022 15:24

How do you think older babies develop that attachment? It's not like pass the parcel and the last person holding the baby at 7 months gets the attachment. Being present in the babies life consistently forms attachment. A younger baby will favour its mother and a week, 8% of this babies life, is significant.

OP is either on a wind-up or doesn't care though so whatever. There's no point taking about it.

Show quote history

Babies develop attachment by having people who love them and care for them

it’s does not need to be the mother or one person all the time as long as their caregivers are loving and responsive they will be perfectly fine

happystory · 21/06/2022 15:35

Cool, you crack on, love, with your super chilled life.....

Queenoftheashes · 21/06/2022 15:35

Sounds fine to me

Amid · 21/06/2022 15:37

Left mine at 6 weeks for 2 nights with grand parents while I was in hospital having a procedure done 200 miles away. A week ? Nope.

balalake · 21/06/2022 15:38

Your parents I hope are OK with this. Don't forget wellies!!!

SpidersAreShitheads · 21/06/2022 15:38

greentreesgreengrass · 21/06/2022 14:51

I'm just interested in opinions and experiences really- not sure how abnormal we were. seems a few others would do the same but not all so definitely in the minority

Grandparents are more than happy to have him and encouraged us to take a couple of extra days!

I obviously love and completely adore DS, but more than happy to leave him with people I trust implicitly. Have been encouraged to take breaks away a few hours here and there, a night out with friends- lucky that DS is a very chilled baby (maybe because we're very chilled parents!)

For those that wouldn't be able to leave baby- is it because you'd miss them too much?

Yep your baby is DEFINITELY chilled because you’re such amazing chilled parents. Any baby who isn’t chilled is absolutely because their parents are stress bunnies. Parenting is as simple as just chilling out 🙄🙄

Being away from your 12 week old baby for 4-5 days is highly unusual- but then to take an extra two days on top…..I’m not sure what to say really…... Mother Nature does a good job of making sure women nurture their babies by giving them a healthy dose of hormones - I’m surprised you don’t seem concerned about missing your baby. It’s almost as if you haven’t properly bonded? 12 weeks is a very tiny baby and there is a lot that can go wrong, even with the very best care. And they’ll change a lot in just one week away. You’ve already said you’re going anyway so have fun I guess! I think most people would hesitate at Glastonbury and would just take their baby with them - but even considering the extra 2 nights away to “recover”……no. Absolutely not. As you’re asking.

oakleaffy · 21/06/2022 15:38

obviously love and completely adore DS, but more than happy to leave him with people I trust implicitly. Have been encouraged to take breaks away a few hours here and there, a night out with friends- lucky that DS is a very chilled baby (maybe because we're very chilled parents!)

No way we would have left our baby to go to a festival...He'd have come with us! {and did}

He may be ''Chilled'' but being left at such a very young age will likely unsettle him, so he becomes decidedly ''Unchilled''.

If you won't miss him, he may miss you.

Why the need for days to ''Recover''? Unless one intends to take masses of substances, there isn't the need, surely.

Glastonbury these days is not like it used to be

Massively commercialised and so hugely overcrowded.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2022 15:41

Babies develop attachment by having people who love them and care for them
it’s does not need to be the mother or one person all the time as long as their caregivers are loving and responsive they will be perfectly fine

Attachment develops to primary caregivers. Not 'people'. A week is a very long time to a 12 week old. It's 3-4 years-worth (proportionally) at my age. I think I'd notice if someone buggered off for 8% of my life.

AmericanStickInsect · 21/06/2022 15:41

He's chilled because you are? Good thing it doesn't work like that otherwise he'd be a smug pisstaker.

Chilled he may be but 12 weeks he still is. His nature doesn't make up for the fact that he's tiny and dependent and his parents won't be there. They live in the moment so won't be able to rationalise it however 'cool' you think he is. It doesn't work like that. It's an excessively long time to be away.

jamoncrumpets · 21/06/2022 15:41

I had two pretty chill babies. Would have hurt my soul to leave them for even a night at 12 weeks.

Weefreetiffany · 21/06/2022 15:42

please Don’t leave your 12 week old alone, he won’t understand where you’ve gone or why or if you’re coming back. Why would you put him through that stress if you didn’t have to? Go for a roll in the mud, get an over priced take away and watch it on the telly. Same experience, with a better nights sleep. Then go next year when your baby will get that you’re coming back and won’t need that closeness

Jedsnewstar · 21/06/2022 15:42

God enjoy the time away, your baby will be fine. It’s a few days, people on here need to chill out.

Jadedandlost · 21/06/2022 15:43

Eye roll from me too. It could be that he’s chilled because he doesn’t have colic rather than due to your parenting?

jamoncrumpets · 21/06/2022 15:44

Jedsnewstar · 21/06/2022 15:42

God enjoy the time away, your baby will be fine. It’s a few days, people on here need to chill out.

Someone hasn't read any of the research into attachment, have they

NicLondon1 · 21/06/2022 15:44

Nope, could never leave such a tiny helpless baby in the care of others at that age, for so long. Not about me missing them.
It is about the baby needing it's parent, it needs to hear your heartbeat and feel close to you. It gets comfort from your voice and the feel of your skin. Please read up about the 4th trimester.
(But also, I'd be worrying, are they waking up to tend to its needs in the night, in the same way I would? Are they leaving it to cry? Can they tell if it is too hot or too cold, or hungry or thirsty? )
One or two nights, maybe, but this feels way too long for something so frivolous and unnecessary.

If you can do this, I would honestly worry whether the child is going to be properly cared for, and apols if that sounds judgy, that is my honest opinion and you asked.... I am no angel parent myself but this sounds extreme.

AngeloMysterioso · 21/06/2022 15:46

I’m going to Glastonbury and leaving my 2.5 y/o and 6 m.o DC with DH/my PILs, but I’m going tomorrow evening and getting the 2am coach home on Monday to keep the time I’m away from them to a minimum. I LOVE Glastonbury but I’m not sure I could leave a 12 week old behind to go and I may or may not have timed our TTC efforts for that very reason.

whynotwhatknot · 21/06/2022 15:48

what if theyre not chilled after day two because they realise theyre mother isnt there

my dsis went to prague for 3 nights when my nephew was 5 month i thought she was bonkers she did miss him though

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/06/2022 15:49

I think it’s weird you’d want to since you asked. If you were my friend I’d worry you hadn’t formed a healthy attachment to your very young baby.

Plans change when you bring a child into the world. Part of being a good committed parent is putting your child’s needs above your wishes.

Siepie · 21/06/2022 15:51

I think I'd have been fine leaving DS with GP for a weekend at that age, if it had been an option.

However, I wouldn't add on the extra days. I would also want to be able to get to him straight away if there were any problems, so I wouldn't be getting drunk or doing anything that could require 2 days recovery.