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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to Glastonbury?

514 replies

greentreesgreengrass · 21/06/2022 14:37

DP and I got Glasto tickets for 2020, now of course moved to finally be this week! hooray!

We have a 12 week old DS who we'll be leaving with my parents. We're away tomorrow to Tuesday as having a couple of days away to recover from the festival after!

People have seemed a little judgy about this. do you think it's fine? we will of course be going anyway but interested to know what people think.

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 21/06/2022 15:07

RedTravellingSocks · 21/06/2022 14:58

Yeah, don't go down this route, OP. It won't win you any friends.

Show quote history

Yep. OP, I was rooting for you until this.

KnitOnePearlOneDropOne · 21/06/2022 15:07

lucky that DS is a very chilled baby (maybe because we're very chilled parents!)

You know that's not how it works, right 🙄

No I wouldn't do it at that age for that length of time. I certainly wouldn't be adding on 'recovery days'.

What would happen if there is an emergency. How would you get back?

Also the phone signal isn't the best there.

orwellwasright · 21/06/2022 15:07

I'm not qualified to comment on whether a small baby might suffer from this separation but I know I would have.

I'd have really missed my son. Like physically aching for him, worrying about how he is. Perhaps I'm not chilled enough 🤔

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2022 15:08

lucky that DS is a very chilled baby (maybe because we're very chilled parents!)

Smug McSmuggerson there.

Babies tend to develop a clear attachment to their mother (or primary caregiver) at a few months old. And that's typically mirrored by their mother (or primary caregiver) not wanting to be away from their babies for extended periods. If you're happy to, you're happy to. But don't be surprised if you do it a lot and your baby develops insecure attachment.

emmetgirl · 21/06/2022 15:09

GO! And have a great time.

Yodaisawally · 21/06/2022 15:10

And 'chilled babies' are usually fuckwit toddlers.

ClarissaD · 21/06/2022 15:10

No, I wouldn't have done that. My parents, OTOH, left me with my Granny for TWO WEEKS at a similar age while they went on holiday with my brother, and my Granny was properly batshit-crazy.

In your shoes, I'd take the baby along. 12 weeks is a very portable age.

Hillary17 · 21/06/2022 15:11

Yes I’d go and enjoy some alone time together, have fun etc. I’d probably not stay longer than needed mind you. So go Thursday and back Sunday after the main act or something.

ShadowoftheFall · 21/06/2022 15:11

I wouldn’t go to Glastonbury if you paid me in diamonds, and I wouldn’t want to dump my babies so soon, but I’m not you, so completely irrelevant.

Biscuitsandpizza · 21/06/2022 15:13

I'm guessing you're not breastfeeding? If you are, I imagine you'll be in a lot of pain within a day or so, even with pumping!

Not something I could've done, but each to their own.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 21/06/2022 15:14

I don't think you'll get the answers you're looking for here.

SomePosters · 21/06/2022 15:14

We mothers like to over estimate our own importance.

At that age as long as their care giver is calm and loving toward them they will be just fine

mum, dad, grand parents, nanny… doesn’t matter as long as they are with a responsive caregiver they will be perfectly fine.

a slightly older child would struggle more especially if it had never happened before.

Have fun and don’t worry that some people judge. That’s their problem.

You and your baby are lucky to have grandparents who want this bond and are happy to step up!

Ahgoonyegirlye · 21/06/2022 15:16

Courses for horse, but no way I would leave a baby that age for so long. Be more likely to send my DP ahead to set up camp etc and then do Friday -sun/Mon if at all.

HarryStottel · 21/06/2022 15:18

greentreesgreengrass · 21/06/2022 14:51

I'm just interested in opinions and experiences really- not sure how abnormal we were. seems a few others would do the same but not all so definitely in the minority

Grandparents are more than happy to have him and encouraged us to take a couple of extra days!

I obviously love and completely adore DS, but more than happy to leave him with people I trust implicitly. Have been encouraged to take breaks away a few hours here and there, a night out with friends- lucky that DS is a very chilled baby (maybe because we're very chilled parents!)

For those that wouldn't be able to leave baby- is it because you'd miss them too much?

Ah, you're one of those parents!

I haven't heard of any parents doing anything as selfish as this when the baby is a few months old, It wouldn't cross my mind at such an early stage.

Will this be your attitude throughout parenting do you think? putting yourself first and dumping the baby/child so you can go off and have a good time by yourselves?

Yes, I am judging you..I think it's an astonishing thing to do.

SallyWD · 21/06/2022 15:20

I couldn't have done it at 12 weeks. They're like a part of you at that age. Your voice and smell are very comforting to them. My brother and sister-in-law left my 12 week old niece for 5 days with my parents. I was really surprised to be honest. My mum told them it was completely fine but I know she found it very stressful.

vitahelp · 21/06/2022 15:20

I wouldn't have been able to do that as I was exclusively breastfeeding. I'm not sure I'd have been keen though anyway, and it's hard to imagine as we wouldn't have known anyone willing to have DD at that age.

SnowWhitesSM · 21/06/2022 15:22

I would have 100% done this. Go and enjoy yourself and feel like you again. Then recover and get back to being a happy mum. Don't feel one ounce of guilt.

ThankYouStavros · 21/06/2022 15:24

I think it’s excessive. Baby is 12 weeks and will no doubt have separation anxiety. Has he stayed out for long periods before? I done a weekend in Barcelona when my son was 12 months. Just two nights. It was nice but in my head I was just worried about my son. In terms of phone signal etc at Glastonbury, it’s not the best, also charging points etc. You can trust your parents implicitly but what if there’s an emergency and you can’t be contacted? I think the week is excessive but it’s your call.

CallOnMe · 21/06/2022 15:24

I think going to the festival is absolutely fine - but I wouldn’t leave such a young baby with my parents for too long as no matter how well behaved they are babies are hard.
Even if they slept the entire time it’s still a constant worry.

I raised my DD alone since I was a teen and did it pretty well. I recently babysat a baby which I was really looking forward to but I was exhausted after just a couple of hours sbd I forgot how mentally draining it is and I’m only 31.
I assume your parents are much older than me and so they could find it quite difficult.

Go to the festival and have a great time but I’d leave the couple of days after for a different time (I think you’ll appreciate it more too).

RedTravellingSocks · 21/06/2022 15:24

We mothers like to over estimate our own importance

Not sure we do, not at 12 weeks.

But the OP is going anyway, so all our opinions and experiences are irrelevant really.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2022 15:24

SomePosters · 21/06/2022 15:14

We mothers like to over estimate our own importance.

At that age as long as their care giver is calm and loving toward them they will be just fine

mum, dad, grand parents, nanny… doesn’t matter as long as they are with a responsive caregiver they will be perfectly fine.

a slightly older child would struggle more especially if it had never happened before.

Have fun and don’t worry that some people judge. That’s their problem.

You and your baby are lucky to have grandparents who want this bond and are happy to step up!

How do you think older babies develop that attachment? It's not like pass the parcel and the last person holding the baby at 7 months gets the attachment. Being present in the babies life consistently forms attachment. A younger baby will favour its mother and a week, 8% of this babies life, is significant.

OP is either on a wind-up or doesn't care though so whatever. There's no point taking about it.

Stevienickssnickers · 21/06/2022 15:26

It's fine to go if that's what you're happy doing. You don't need permission.

Probably not fine to be a smuggo about your chilled parenting persona though. You're three months in, it gets worse.

lurker69 · 21/06/2022 15:27

The kids 12 weeks old, all they do is eat, poop and sleep i would hold off on your assumptions of him being super chill until he actually starts doing stuff. I wouldn't be off leaving a baby at that age though no and yes it would be because i would miss them too much, also what weird question, it sounds like you think its abnormal to miss your baby?

Tubs11 · 21/06/2022 15:27

I'd have had to take baby with as ebf. Even if bottle fed I'd have taken with as it's super family friendly and great way to bond with your kid
I'm a pretty chilled parent but even I think the additional two days would be too muchnstead I'd come back, get my snuggles and have back to the rentals when I felt like a nap

resuwen · 21/06/2022 15:28

I think in your particular situation I would have done it, but would have picked up baby as soon as I got home.

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