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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to Glastonbury?

514 replies

greentreesgreengrass · 21/06/2022 14:37

DP and I got Glasto tickets for 2020, now of course moved to finally be this week! hooray!

We have a 12 week old DS who we'll be leaving with my parents. We're away tomorrow to Tuesday as having a couple of days away to recover from the festival after!

People have seemed a little judgy about this. do you think it's fine? we will of course be going anyway but interested to know what people think.

OP posts:
Topgub · 21/06/2022 20:57

@MrsTerryPratchett

Do you have any evidence that leaving with caring gp for 6 days will cause harm?

Or that 'chopping and changing' between consistent loving care givers does? Most people I know leave kids with gp on a regular basis. They are extended care givers. Secure attachments can be formed to multiple consistent care givers.

I can guarantee that a one off 'buggering off' at 12 weeks won't make a shred of difference to the baby.

It is absolutely sexist because there's no way people would judge men like this.

Sparklingbrook · 21/06/2022 21:00

It is absolutely sexist because there's no way people would judge men like this

I am seeing this for what it is. Both parents going to Glastonbury and leaving their 12 week old for 6 days. That's it. That's what was stated in the OP requesting to be judged.

MsTSwift · 21/06/2022 21:01

Sorry I just don’t believe any of this 😁. Leaving babies for a week to go partying /festivals at 39 weeks!/going to Glastonbury with twin babies - not buying any of it!

Topgub · 21/06/2022 21:03

@Sparklingbrook

Yet the 99.9% of the comments are judging the woman alone.

The oh has barely been mentioned

SummerPuddings · 21/06/2022 21:03

Just remembering that I went out for an evening meal with some friends when DS was that age. I think it was my first night out. Left him with my folks. When I got home my mum said he'd cried for a long time. I asked her why she hadn't called me, and she said "because you needed a night out."

I felt so sad that I had made him sad.

So 6 days at Glastonbury? Nope. Not me.

SummerPuddings · 21/06/2022 21:05

And I'm not judging you or your partner OP. I'm just telling you my honest experience. Also really not an uptight parent here.

Sparklingbrook · 21/06/2022 21:06

Topgub · 21/06/2022 21:03

@Sparklingbrook

Yet the 99.9% of the comments are judging the woman alone.

The oh has barely been mentioned

Not sure what that's got to do with me. The OP clearly states 'DP and I'. I can't speak for anyone else.

Topgub · 21/06/2022 21:10

@Sparklingbrook

I was just replying to your comment about it being both

Its clearly not both being judged even if you personally do.

Bunchymcbunchface · 21/06/2022 21:11

I certainly would have if the opportunity came up.
I spent masses of time with my grandparents my whole childhood and had a fantastic relationship with them.

mirrorballer · 21/06/2022 21:13

MsTSwift · 21/06/2022 21:01

Sorry I just don’t believe any of this 😁. Leaving babies for a week to go partying /festivals at 39 weeks!/going to Glastonbury with twin babies - not buying any of it!

Lots of people go to Glastonbury with their babies and there are often births there. Just because it's not for you it doesn't mean it doesn't happen or is any less valid an experience.

Apart from the size, it's actually a really kid friendly festival.

Sparklingbrook · 21/06/2022 21:15

Topgub · 21/06/2022 21:10

@Sparklingbrook

I was just replying to your comment about it being both

Its clearly not both being judged even if you personally do.

Well as it's the OP that's asking to be judged and not her OH then I guess it's natural that comments will be addressed to her.

They are going anyway so all this is a bit pointless in any case.

Sparklingbrook · 21/06/2022 21:16

Lots of people go to Glastonbury with their babies and there are often births there

Giving birth at Glastonbury on purpose seems like a really bad idea.

Frazzlefrazle · 21/06/2022 21:18

I would do it. Baby will be happy and safe and you'll have a wonderful time

Bunnycat101 · 21/06/2022 21:23

I couldn’t have done it and I’m not particularly the earth mother type. More practically though, I had lochia for 12 weeks with my first and was still pretty tender at that point with all my stitches. Just making me think I might have been unlucky for it to last that long if others could contemplate a week in a field at that point. Leaving aside the baby, the thought of lochia, tenderness and long drop toilets gives me the chills.

CupcakesK · 21/06/2022 21:24

Honestly, you both sound like you’re in denial about being parents now. I’ve seen it with a few of my friends - tried to carry on living their pre-baby life. They all realised eventually that their life was about more than them now. I’m all for continuing to have your own life post-baby, but that extends to either taking the baby with you to these things, or being away for one night max at such a young age.

Onlinemum22 · 21/06/2022 22:08

I wouldn't do it. Take the baby with you. We're taking ds this week... its his 3rd time at Glastonbury and he's 7.

DuggeeHugPlease · 21/06/2022 22:19

I couldn't have left mine so early but everyone is different. I remember my husband suggesting I leave my 6 week old baby at home while going to do nursery pick up and I really struggled with being away from her. I just felt something was missing. She's now 1 and while I'm fine leaving her during the day at nursery/with dad or grandparents, I still struggle with overnights. I've had to do a few for work and really hate being away from her at such a young age.

I think it's a personal thing and you should do what's best for you.

MsTSwift · 21/06/2022 23:23

I haven’t been to Glastonbury but a few other festivals and have never felt they were appropriate places for young children. Dh and I were at one lots of drunk/drugged up twenty somethings roaring about in the dark and there was this couple there with a baby and toddler! They had a trolley type thing. Couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Looked very wrong to me.

SusieSimpleman · 21/06/2022 23:40

None of ours were left with anyone else for more than a couple of hours at that age. Either DH or I (or both) were with them for the vast majority of the time.

I'm comfortable that that was the best decision for the health and wellbeing of our tiny baby.

If you were comfortable with your decision, you wouldn't be asking the question.

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 21/06/2022 23:59

If one of my adult DCs tried this on with me, I'd feel they were taking the piss. A couple of nights babysitting, no problem, but a whole week, with time away afterwards to recover 🙄will the grandparents be getting a few days in a hotel to recover??

Goodskin46 · 22/06/2022 06:14

mirrorballer · 21/06/2022 21:13

Lots of people go to Glastonbury with their babies and there are often births there. Just because it's not for you it doesn't mean it doesn't happen or is any less valid an experience.

Apart from the size, it's actually a really kid friendly festival.

Show quote history

OMG I never thought I was uptight, but this is surely a good way to have a perinatal mortality rate equivilent to the 1880's.
My brain just can't imagine why you would do this.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 22/06/2022 06:28

I’m leaving my 1 year old behind with my mum while we go to
glastonbury . I’m going Thursday and back early on Monday (she’ll be at nursery all day Monday so I can sleep 🙈🙈 I can’t bloody wait now ! I don’t think I could be away from her much longer than the duration of the festival though - I know il miss her so much.

you are lucky to have someone your trust so much to have your child tbh - enjoy yourself

if you said you were taking the baby with you people would get just as judgemental - you can’t win

Sparklingbrook · 22/06/2022 06:32

I don’t think you can compare leaving a 1 year old and a 12 week old TBH. If the OP said a 1 year old then it wouldn’t have made an AIBU.

LoudSnoringDog · 22/06/2022 06:40

I would absolutely have done it.

enjoy OP!

MsTSwift · 22/06/2022 06:46

Agree. Leaving a baby over 1 who goes to nursery anyway for a weekend- fine. Leaving a 12 week old for a week tips into is a different league…whatever - your baby do what you want within the law but you did ask!

Wait a few years and then go when they’ll appreciate it - god my young teens would explode with joy if we took them to Glastonbury!