To leave 4 year old alone in pool

[CatTurd]

With armbands on and me sitting at the side on a sun lounger.

Just curious because I noticed all the other parents getting in or
following their 4/5/6 yr olds around. Maybe I’m being too relaxed.

I'd definitely be in the pool. My DD who is nearly 4 is having swimming lessons in the baby pool of our local pool at the moment. She can easily stand up but she was doing back stroke - with the teacher holding her head - when he moved away as she got to the side of the pool, she hadn't fully stood up, went under and swallowed water and promptly panicked. If the water had been any deeper she'd have been in trouble. Things can go wrong quickly in water even for decent swimmers.

We have a paddling pool in our local park that's about 20cm deep, it's always heaving on a sunny day and adults tend to not go in.... it gives me the bloody willies and my DD is 6 and a good swimmer!

I was at a beach pool once. Double danger. Kid in pool. Dad fell asleep on sun lounger.. luckily kid got out and came to me to help me find his dad. Stay with the kids there's even worse than drowning sadly

I'm pleased you've taken the good advice on this thread on board OP.
Too many devastating stories of swimming accidents and children.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

How many fatal car accidents have you personally witnessed?
Presumably you accept that road fatalities are not uncommon and there’s a very good reason why seatbelts and car seats are mandatory?

Just because as a youngster, you don’t remember any children drowning, it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that there weren’t any near misses. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I almost drowned in the 1960’s as each of my parents thought the other parent was watching me. Luckily, my older brother spotted me in time and I was rescued.

I find it rather sad that you look back and actually suggest it was worth risking your children's lives just so you can feel smug that they grew up sporty. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Go have fun with your child in the water. At four they are still learning about the world. Talk to them about what they are doing, seeing, hearing experiencing. Not only will you be ensuring their safety but you will be building their self esteem (my mum likes spending time with me) memories, knowledge, understanding skills and vocabulary.

Lifeguards are not supposed to be in the water, they watch from the side as it means they have a better view and can get to swimmers in trouble faster. If you are watching from the side it is safe, if you are not really watching then it doesn't matter if you are in the pool or not!

It only takes minutes to drowned. 120 - 180 seconds. I wouldn't risk the most precious person in my world for a lay down and a sunbathe.

Best to stay within arms reach until they can swim, drowning can happen so quickly and quietly (its a big fear of mine so I don't let my confident swimmer swim in the lake without me even though all her peers have been doing that for at least a couple of years already)

Someone I know, took their happy healthy child next door to play.Adults sit in the garden with a cuppa. chatting, while the small children played. Then they realised her DD (3) was face down by the pond in a few inches of water. But during the time her brain had no oxygen, a lifetimes damage was done.

The rest of her DD's life is incommunicado, helpless in a wheelchair needing 24 hour care. Her needs will continue beyond her parents lifetime.

I suppose I thought it was okay because my parents never got in, or even watched us. Thinking back though, I did nearly drown on 3 separate holidays.

I know armbands don’t prevent drowning now. Not really sure how they fail but I’ll take peoples word for it.

By the not watching like a hawk comment, I mean I was watching 99% of the time but I most likely will have looked away at times.

I never swim. I can’t despite many lessons. I don’t like water going on my face. It’s purely a holiday thing.

I'm normally fairly relaxed but I very nearly drowned as an almost-four year old because I had quietly taken my armbands off. Thankfully my brother spotted me in the water, in the shallow end no less.

*Adults take a while to drown. They thrash about, yell, struggle. Almost all adult swimmers who drown are out of their depth.

It takes them longer than it takes chikldren.*

THIS... is not true. This is SO so dangerous.

Adults can drown VERY quickly, their only advantage over children is larger lung capacity, but they can still drown in around 40seconds.

Adults do not splash, shout or struggle, just like kids, they slip under the water quietly and gone...

As for 'life guards are on the side' - yes, but they're usually sat up high looking down on the pool (and if they aren't, they should be). Giving them a much better view of the pool as a whole.

If you're supervising ONE person rather than a whole pool, you need to be IN the pool with that person.

A kid can drown in 20 seconds. Can you honestly swear that you can spot NOT 'your kid yelling and splashing' because they're ALL doing that.. but your kid NOT there NOT splashing NOT yelling.

Because that is what you're looking for.. not activity and noise, you're looking for the LACK of activity and noise. You're looking for something NOT there.

In a busy noisey pool it is VERY difficult to spot something missing.

Perhaps not surprising if you nearly drowned 3 times!
Are you on holiday with other adults?

Dunno really. I had my 4 year old next to me in the toddler pool with her armbands on, only then somehow she wandered off to the big pool without me noticing. Found her there sitting by the side of the water playing with someone else's barbie some time later. Must admit I found it all a bit stressful, mainly because I thought had been watching the whole time and couldn't believe how easy it was not to notice.

Not read all the thread but no chance would I leave a 4 year old in the pool by themselves.
When mine were that age I was in with them and never took my eyes off them, it only takes seconds of you being distracted or looking away for something to happen .

As a swimming teacher this is extremely concerning a parent would have such little regard to her young child's safety around water.

I suppose I thought it was okay because my parents never got in, or even watched us. Thinking back though, I did nearly drown on 3 separate holidays.

Sorry, but how did you think it would be OK if you yourself nearly drowned on 3 separate holidays?;
Surely that'd tell you the complete opposite, that NO, it's not Ok and it's really dangerous?!

I saw a child of about that age nearly drown yesterday in a pool because the parent thought they could just check their phone and he'd be OK. Fortunately the lifeguards spotted him and saved him. I dread to think what could have happened at a pool with less/no lifeguards.

You sound like a great parent. Keep up the good work

I’m with my boyfriend who’s a good swimmer but doesn’t want to supervise. The 4 year old is staying in the shallow end so I’d be able to get her anyway.

I thought nearly drowning was just one of those childhood experiences we all have tbh. I believed I was doing a good job to just be actually watching. I didn’t think I was wrong until I saw all the other hovering parents. I’m not good at judging what’s dangerous I suppose.

When you say you can't swim, what skill level are you talking about? If you wouldn't be able to save dc if s/he got into difficulty then you don't count as an adult swimmer who can supervise. You really shouldn't allow dc into the water at all if you're not able to swim to rescue him/her.

You're not serious!

Why have kids if you cannot fulfil your responsibilities as a parent?