To leave 4 year old alone in pool

[CatTurd]

With armbands on and me sitting at the side on a sun lounger.

Just curious because I noticed all the other parents getting in or
following their 4/5/6 yr olds around. Maybe I’m being too relaxed.

Idiotic. Your child can't even swim, even an older child who can swim you'd be in the water with them. Can't believe you are even asking this. Lazy, lax parenting and an accident waiting to happen.

Not sure why people still reply insulting OP when they have already said they've taken on board people's comments and will be getting in the pool from now on.

Can people please stop saying "kids pool is fine" no it is not, a child can drown in an inch of water, kids pool unsupervised is not fine. Takes seconds for a child to slip under the water, yes even in the kids pool and you tapping away on your phone not watching for a minute, so so dangerous.

Absolutely need to be in the pool with them. Ds is 7 and a great swimmer (still does weekly lessons) but either DH or I were in with him the whole time on holiday. The most we allowed when he made a friend was for one of us to be sitting on the edge with feet dangling in whilst he and the friend played in a shallow area.

There were loads of life guards on duty and kids with armbands or rubber rings weren't allowed in the deep pool. The life guards were straight over and telling the parents to get them out or get in the pool with them!

I think that’s because most of us are horrified that someone would even need to ask this.

You need to be in the water.

On holiday with relatives last year. DC in armbands - slow puncture and DC steadily got lower and lower in water not realising. Luckily parents were with them in water,had they not been it would have been a catastrophe.

Remember, drowning is usually silent, a child can drown rapidly with no one seeing or hearing.

Awaits the abuse?
Why is it funny?

It takes seconds for a young child to be out of sight and under the water.
It's completely preventable.

As a parent it's 100% your job to be fully present and watching your child like a hawk in a pool. They are only small for such a short time, Water is never the place to be be complacent about taking your eye off the ball.

The alternative doesn't bear thinking about.

4 is just too young to be unsupervised in a pool. I was left alone from about 6 or 7, but I was extremely tall for my age, extremely mature for my age, and a very strong swimmer, having done lessons since I was a baby and then some competitive swimming.

I don't think any 4 year old is old enough.

Not sure why people still reply insulting OP when they have already said they've taken on board people's comments and will be getting in the pool from now on.

Well no. Sitting on the edge with feet in isnt the same thing. I dont understand why you wouldn't just get in. To me sitting on the edge implies there's a reason you dont want to get in, in my mind that reason likely is something that might also take your attention away from the child (reading a book, being on a phone).

With a 4 year old in the water you watch them. Constantly.

YABU. My 5 year old can swim, but I'm always near him in a pool. Would never have left him in one alone when he needed arm bands.

If you read my message, I was fully present and watching her like a hawk. There is an absolute difference between reading a book or not paying attention, to being sat next to the pool while your child potters about with her toys. If she had gone under water I’d have been able to fish her out in the same way I would if I was in the water. I think people are envisioning parents relaxing on their phones ignoring their children in the while sunbathing. The reality is different, at least my reality is!

I have when my youngest started lessons as they were in the shallow end, I stood at the edge the whole time, their older siblings (one of whom was in a swim club were in the pool too). I had horrendous period issues (now resolved) so couldn’t get in 2 classes a month.

while he could swim it was armbands only outside the baby pool and he was happy to do do - instructor used to put back on arm bands after the lesson.

One of my grandmother's siblings drowned in a pot of tomato juice. Their mother had been skinning tomatoes and putting them in a pot on the table to make a sauce for dinner. Someone knocked on the door, she went to answer it, was chatting for about a minute, came back and the kid was dead...had climbed up onto the table, fallen head first into the pot and drowned. Completely silently.

I was in the pool with my 2 year old and 5 year old (who could swim well) with two other adults sat facing the children at the side (no-one else in the small pool). The 5 year old slipped under while my back was turned for a moment (the pool had a sudden drop and they 'forgot' how to swim it seems). When I turned back he was gone. The other adults hadn't even clocked he had gone under. I managed to pull him out and all ok.

It is called silent drowning for a reason.

I sat on the side of the pool with my 8 and 4 year old in the water last week on holiday, but they can both swim without armbands and I could of jumped in if necessary.

I was standing next to my 3 year old at the edge of a rock pool. He fell and didn't even struggle. He just lay face down in the water. Thank God we were next to him and pulled him straight out. There was no thrashing, no struggle... it still haunts me 10 years on!

God, life can be terrifyingly random at times

This is so true. Op if you don’t know what is and isn’t safe, I’d really read up on safety and the indications that your dc in trouble and drowning.

As others have said, arm bands are rubbish and dangerous. If you’re not next to your ds, you aren’t supervising well so you should buy a decent swimming vest.

At 4, no way. By the time my dd was 5 she could swim. On holiday I sat at the side whilst she swam first thing in the morning at a pool on holiday. She was often the only child in there. The lifeguard was on duty. I never would have done this in a busy pool and once more people arrived, dh went in with her.

Oh to add to my post, this was in a shallow pool.

I did it and look back and think I must have been mad. Too big a risk

This is a joke isn't it ?

as long as you have eyes on them all the time and are in a couple of arms lengths then out or in the pool is ok imo

I slipped and went under in a paddling pool in a park when I was 7. I must have got my feet back on the ground and pinged up within a few seconds, but it felt like I was drowning at the time. It must have given my granddad a huge shock.

I still stay close to my 9yo much of the time. He's working on his 25m and deep water swimming in lessons, but his treading water technique is not refined and it's hard to judge if he's struggling, and I wouldn't leave that to a lifeguard to notice if he was. If he's well within his depth I'll give him more range of space.

He had an incident at a public pool recently and hit his head while getting off a waterslide. We were well within pool guidelines, the 11 yo was at the bottom already, DH at the top, I was seperate and in an adjacent pool and heard crying a couple of metres away from me as DS approached the lifeguard and it seemed to take an eon to get myself through the pool to an accessible point to get to him (he was already accompanied by DS 11 and DH). I'm strong at moving through water too- can swim a mile in cold open water. It's not something you want to be doing in an urgent situation.

DS1 was a more refined swimmer at 9 having not lost lesson time due to Covid restrictions and that was the start of me using another part of the (lifeguarded, quiet pool). He told me to go and do some lengths and it only really occured to me then that he was sensible and skilled enough to leave within his depth and that there wasn't a rational argument not to.

Pools have strict policies on children, usually u8s and often even tighter on u5s for good reason. It's not just swimming ability, it's having enough maturity to have a bit of survival skill if there is an issue.

I'm not saying this as a pile on, but there are people reading this thread who think that lax and distant supervision of young, non-swimming children is acceptable and tbh, most people who would rather sit poolside than be in with their children are not experienced, aware swimmers and are not making a well-informed choice.

Wow. Do you look SO lush that you can't get wet? What? Relaxed? Is that what it's called? Words fail me. GET FUCKING WET AND SAVE YOUR CHILD!!!!!!! Nuff said.

Relaxing on a lounger, while your child is drowning? Of course! Silly me!