To think withdrawal is quite safe...

[LilyPotter44]

Whenever I see threads on here about natural family planning and the withdrawal method as means of contraception, people always act as if it's stupid and completely unreliable. Now don't get me wrong, it's not fool proof. But is it really as reckless as people make out?

Dh and I have recently had a baby (3 months ago) and are yet to sort contraception. I don't want to go back on the pill and he's thinking of getting a vasectomy but there's a wait. Having done my research it seems like withdrawal can work when done properly - i.e fully withdrawn a decent length of time before ejaculation not left right until the last second. Studies also seem to indicate that 'pre-ejaculate' for the most part doesn't contain sperm. So why are people so against it? Have you had any experience with it and did it work for you?

We used it for years before DS1, and again between DS1 and DS2.

Picked right up with it after DS2, the only reason in on the coil now is due to horrendous ovulation pains, otherwise we'd still be using it.

Might work 99 times out of 100 but what if DP forgets to withdraw? Miscalculates how close he is? Just use johnnies. So much more reliable.

Well I have 2 out of 2 kids conceived by this excellent method. The problem is do you really know when you ovulate? I ovulate at the end of my period.

What is johnnies?

Condoms

Oh! Ok, thanks. :)

I would never use this method, it would ruin our sex life. Sounds horrible.

Any form of contraception has a risk of failing.
thats the bottom line
Its like the coil for example - its 99.9% effective but some women still become pregnant whilst they have it. I find it odd myself, how something can work so well, then not work at all one day 🤔
I think if you are careful enough and have your timings right then withdrawal will be successful - however, like all contraception, not guaranteed.

I’ll probably get flamed for this but 2 DCs - one 11 and one 3. Used withdrawal the entire time since birth of 11 year old, got pregnant within a month of trying with 3 year old and been doing the same ever since with no issues.

It I does work but it's not very reliable and I had 3 children in 8 years using this not very reliable method.

I now have the coil and sex is so much better.

How do you know youwerevery fertile? Surely the only clear way to know, is becoming pregnant?

Not very fun though is it

Because there are too many variables; you might ovulate earlier than normal, sperm lives for a varying period of time, it is not 100% certain that pre-ejaculate doesn't contain sperm, your partner may forget to withdraw in the moment. That is why it is reckless if you definitely do not want to become pregnant again.

Such an odd thread.

The OP starts the discussion - invites opinions, acknowledges that withdrawal carries risks, and they’re only using it because another baby wouldn’t be the end of the world….

… and then gets snippy and defensive with everyone who also points this out, and so flounces and hides the thread.

Is sex education really lacking in schools these days? Are people swayed by the anti-contraception stance of many religions?

I mean how can we be in 2022 with people genuinely saying whipping it out is a 'method of contraception'?

It really, really isn't. I've known this since I first learnt about sex about a million years ago. It's roulette and should only be used by people who don't mind if they get pregnant.

Condoms are 98% effective.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/male-condoms/

We have been using that method for years but I am 42 so I might not even be able to get pregnant.

I used the withdrawal method for 3 years without becoming pregnant. Although I wasn't actively trying for a child, it would not have been the end of the world if I did become pregnant and as we both knew we wanted children in the not to near future, we accepted the risk it may happen earlier than planned. (got pregnant a few months after we stopped the withdrawal method so wasn't a case that we couldn't have children). I think if you are 100% dead set against having another child it is risky but, if like us, would be ok with having another if it happened then go for it.

I think I’d only use it if you’re OK with having another baby TBH.

Typical use is 76% effective. Condoms are only 79% effective typical use so maybe people could stop being so snooty!!!

Does that include the best part of two weeks you have to avoid sex every month if you're using the withdrawal 'method' though, considering you avoid having sex in your fertile window and your period?

It's not really a logical comparison to say 2 weeks of withdrawal method is 76% and a month of condoms are 79% so they're almost the same.

We have used it for 10 years. We have had 3 planned children and no accidental pregnancies in this time. It works for us. I track my cycles and we sometimes use condoms at the most fertile times but not always.

It worked for me but I was well aware of the risks and I knew that getting pregnant wouldn’t have been the end of the world for us at the time.

I absolutely would not use this method if I was adamant that I didn’t want any more children etc

YANBU

It's not for me, because my DH doesn't feel confident in his ability to withdraw in time so it ruins it for him, and my ovulation is quite variable. We used hormonal methods before children but are now happily and diligently 'just' using condoms now. I can see condoms alone might not be ideal for the drunk, young and very susceptible to pressure or persuasion. But for two people having regular sex who trust each other and have a shared interest in not getting pregnant they're good. We're also happy with our family as it is, but could cope with a third if we messed up somehow.

I have a relative who did get pregnant using this method, but she was very young and with an older, irresponsible boyfriend so her situation was very different.

If you're confident in the withdrawal method working for you and your partner, then is there a way to have his pre ejaculate tested for viable sperm? If not, then I can recommend condoms - so much better for me than the pill/coil/injection whilst DH doesn't feel ready for a vasectomy.

You weren’t doing the method properly. He’s supposed to pull out before he ejaculates regardless of whether you’re ovulating or not. Sperm can last for 7 days inside you.

Ovulation has nothing to do with whether he ‘whips it out’ or not. Hes supposed to pull out Everytime.