To think withdrawal is quite safe...

[LilyPotter44]

Whenever I see threads on here about natural family planning and the withdrawal method as means of contraception, people always act as if it's stupid and completely unreliable. Now don't get me wrong, it's not fool proof. But is it really as reckless as people make out?

Dh and I have recently had a baby (3 months ago) and are yet to sort contraception. I don't want to go back on the pill and he's thinking of getting a vasectomy but there's a wait. Having done my research it seems like withdrawal can work when done properly - i.e fully withdrawn a decent length of time before ejaculation not left right until the last second. Studies also seem to indicate that 'pre-ejaculate' for the most part doesn't contain sperm. So why are people so against it? Have you had any experience with it and did it work for you?

It worked for us for about 4 years.
We got pregnant the first month we ‘tried’ 3 times, so we’re both very fertile!

Again. Why not use condoms?

The withdrawal method would have been used for Millenia before actual (reliable) contraception was invented.

Presumably it’s lack of reliability drove the demand for reliable forms of contraception.

Sex should be enjoyable and a lot of people, men and women, don't find it enjoyable with condoms.

@Unanananana pre ejaculate may come into contact with sperm if it's 'left over' from previous ejaculation and can be picked up by the fluid on the way out to put it plainly. If ejaculation hasn't happened for days beforehand then it's unlikely.

I didn't call you an idiot, read the post properly. I said you act as if it's an idiotic idea but as pp said, done correctly it's similar to condoms in the reliability stakes.

I don't understand why people get so snippy about it. We are not planning another pregnancy but if it happened it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Not the most secure of methods, but perfectly fine for couples who are totally aligned on their abortion position.

It's worked perfectly for us for years.

couples vary, and what works for some people won't work for others you're looking at 22 out 100 women using this method getting pregnant within the year.

39 out of 100 would be pregnant by the end of the second year, 52 by the end of the third year.

So most women would be pregnant within 3 years using this method. I was taught this was 'a method of birth control' at catholic school, adult me, I think it's effective at increasing the spacing between babies for most women.

Depends how 'bad' it would be if you fell pregnant.

If you're in a stable relationship where an 'accident' didn't matter then I'd go for it.

The worse that could happen would be another
gorgeous baby.

Worked for us between babies and for 20-odd years afterwards.

I came off the pill just before conceiving baby number 1, and never went back on it either pre- or post-baby number 2.

It can work if you're careful, and he pulls out. TMI but I'd just wank him off, or he'd do himself.

HTH!

People are dicks, OP. I understand where you are coming from and we will probably use this method too after our daughter is born.

Before all the holier than thou comments come along I cannot use any form of hormonal contraception because it has a very negative effect on my mental health and however much people like to pretend the pill is safe it just isn't and I'm not prepared to take it. I cannot have a copper coil fitted due to prexisting health conditions. I have a reaction to condoms. We aren't sure whether we might one day want another child or not so vasectomies and sterilisation are out of the question.

So the withdrawal method it will be. People like to act like the most irresponsible thing ever but it really isn't. It is ideal to do it whilst tracking your cycle also. Look up Natural Family Planning.
www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2012/1115/p924.html

Right, so. As the body makes it, there is not sperm in pre-ejaculate. However, that does not mean that what actually comes out is free of sperm.

Healthline’s article on this states “A 2016 study found mobile sperm present in the pre-cum of nearly 17 percent of its male participants. Another study, published in 2011 found mobile sperm in 37 percent of pre-cum samples…”

So it’s just not possible to say that withdrawal-method pregnancies are happening to the people who aren’t doing it properly; they may have done but there is no guarantee that there won’t be active sperm in the pre-ejaculate.

Without going into the gory details....this is basically what we do! There is no last second pull out. I can see how that could go wrong easily.

Condoms have an almost identical success rate.

If you don't want to get pregnant than you need something far more reliable than withdrawal.

Apparently 1 in 5 women who use this method will get pregnant.

are they odds you fancy?

www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/pull-out-withdrawal#:~:text=Pulling%20out%20isn't%20a,when%20used%20correctly%20every%20time.

WebMD suggests that the withdrawal method is effective at preventing pregnancy in 78% of cases, @LilyPotter44, which is too low to be reliable, in my opinion. The article does suggest you can make this more effective by using a spermicidal jelly vaginally - this might make it safe enough to tide you over until you can sort out more effective contraception - but I wouldn’t rely on it for long, unless you are happy to have another pregnancy so soon.

You asked why people are against it and if it is reckless. And the reality is it is reckless, if you definitely don't want a baby, as many people get pregnant following this method and that's why some people are against it.

It would be inappropriate to say its safe when it isn't completely safe, because you could have been someone asking because getting pregnant again would cause you severe health issues, or would break you financially etc and you may not be comfortable with an abortion.

But if getting pregnant again wouldn't pose a massive issue then go for it and don't worry about it

The fact that your husband is thinking of a vasectomy enough to have made enquiries about timelines suggests he doesn't want another baby? What will happen if you potentially get pregnant? Are you on board with no more children too?

We've used it successfully for many MANY years. I've always suspected one of us may be infertile as it's never led to an accidental pregnancy. It's not one to try outside of a committed relationship though!

my sis in law tried this got pregnant 5 months after her first baby was born=arent you more fertile after a baby

I came on to say this!!

that is a very good point!

@LilyPotter44

"Without going into the gory details....this is basically what we do! There is no last second pull out. I can see how that could go wrong easily."

As I said it worked fine for us. Bear in mind, we didn't want (for good reason) another baby, but it wouldn't have been a disaster if I got pregnant. Committed, stable relationship of many years.

I wouldn't have had an abortion if I did get pregnant, but that never happened, despite getting pregnant immediately on both planned attempts.

Posters calling you names are ridiculous.

But the circumstances need to be right.

You are missing the highly relevant fact that when we are turned on, we don't always make logical, rational decisions.

Before starting sex, the intention might be to stop well before it becomes a risk factor.

During sex, that becomes - hmm maybe a bit more. Then - would it be that bad? Then - ah it'll probably be ok. If you are fully in control of that decision then frankly, the sex is really quite poor so why bother...

So the point is you might not be reckless now. But you will be when it gets to "a decent amount of time". All recks out the window at that point... you won't care about the consequences of carrying on!

I used it successfully for 9 years. DP preferred oral anyway, so there was never a huge amount of PIV and when there was it was rarely ‘to completion’ unless deemed a safe day for it. I was very aware of my cycle and clearly made a decent job of keeping track. For people who had some kind of sex at least 3 times a week, it worked for us.