To think withdrawal is quite safe...

[LilyPotter44]

Whenever I see threads on here about natural family planning and the withdrawal method as means of contraception, people always act as if it's stupid and completely unreliable. Now don't get me wrong, it's not fool proof. But is it really as reckless as people make out?

Dh and I have recently had a baby (3 months ago) and are yet to sort contraception. I don't want to go back on the pill and he's thinking of getting a vasectomy but there's a wait. Having done my research it seems like withdrawal can work when done properly - i.e fully withdrawn a decent length of time before ejaculation not left right until the last second. Studies also seem to indicate that 'pre-ejaculate' for the most part doesn't contain sperm. So why are people so against it? Have you had any experience with it and did it work for you?

We just used johnnys while I was BF. It's not difficult...

Ah OP, I'm sat here cuddling my 'withdrawal method' baby. Totally delighted with him but totally not planned!

I think one issue is that it’s often the method suggested by men who refuse to wear a condom, and I wouldn’t want such a man to be responsible for whether or not I got pregnant.

If that’s not your situation, op, then I think you’re perfectly reasonable.

Its not a method of contraception though is itb
Sounds so bloody unsatisfying as well i couldnt do it

Withdawl method, isn't a method it also isn't the same as natural family planning. You are confusing 2 different things. Natural family planning is closely monitoring your cycle using temperature, cervical mucus or ovulation tests and avoiding your fertile window so around a week a month (or using contraception during this period), withdrawl is simply dicing and hoping for the best. You don't usually avoid the fertile window doing this so you are effectively hoping for the best. If he has had a wank fairly recently or sex there's also the change that there are active swimmers in pre-cum too. If you are happy to fall pregnant then fine but if you aren't wanting a baby soon it isn't the brightest idea.

I took one chance using this method. He didn't even get close to ending, he put it in, we both decided we were too tired, he took it out. That was the only time we had sex that month. DC is now mid 20's.

That was on Day 10 or 11 of my cycle.

It's playing with fire unless you don't mind getting pregnant. Also if you are still breastfeeding your hormones won't be predictable so you won't really know when you are close to ovulating.

It has worked for us for 14 years combined with tracking fertility. We got pregnant when we actually trying first time, both times. Now we've finished having babies, DH has finally accepted a vasectomy is on the cards.
So it can work, but this is only anecdotal evidence of course.

Brilliant, he put it in and we both decided we were too tired 🤣

It doesn't sound like much fun to me. Not much opportunity for getting carried away and enjoying the moment.

I did, and 40 years later he's sitting opposite me watching the telly.

And (not to brag in any way) I got pregnant the exact 2 times we "left it in".

So go figure.

It depends on your partner, it worked for me with a previous partner, never once got pregnant in 8 years - but not all men can do it

Condoms are over 90% effective if used correctly. So the argument saying that they are the same as withdrawal is ridiculous.

As is withdrawal when used correctly.

Going to say this one more time for all the people at the back saying "just use condoms"

Perfect use:
Condoms - approx 98% effective
Withdraw - approx 96% effective

Typical use:
Condoms - approx 82% effective
Withdraw - approx 78% effective

For those who want the evidence

• https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/how-effective-contraception/
• https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control

If you are happy with that method of 'contraception' and an unplanned pregnancy would not be a disaster for you then why worry about other people's opinions?

Personally an unwanted pregnancy has been the worst fear of my adult life (happily well past the menopause now ) so it was not a risk I would ever have taken. I can honestly say I have never had unprotected sex in my life apart from the few months when we (well, DH !) was hoping for a positive result.

I think I'd feel a complete failure as a lover if my husband were able to exercise that level of control. He may have been but we had far too much fun otherwise.

I spent my 20s ensuring I didn't get pregnant; my 30s getting pg.

what about disease?

Eggs aren’t fertilised every time you have sex.
Most people have to try several times before becoming pregnant.

Depending on your time in the cycle there are times when you are more or less fertile.

Using this method could work every time but chances are it’s going to catch you out one day.
Out of all the contraceptive methods, this has the lowest success rate for a reason.

If you want to carry on doing it then carry on, but be prepared that you may end up getting pregnant.

Even if it was 100% effective (which it obviously isn’t) I would personally hate this method.
I wouldn’t want to have to stop just before my partner climaxes (your hand is not going to feel the same) and the best part is trying to orgasm together or having that few minutes afterwards when you’re still physically together.

Withdrawal didnt work for me and I have twin eleven year old boys

Come on now. Be a big girl and use your brain you daft sod

I suppose it works until you get pregnant.

I agree with this.

I think that the main issue with it is that the woman entirely places her trust in the man that he’ll withdraw in time.

If you’re in a committed, trusting relationship, both aware of the risk of pregnancy and happy to take the risk, and you’re confident he’ll stick around if you do get pregnant (i.e. your situation) then I personally don’t see any problem with it.

If you aren’t, and he just doesn’t feel like wearing a condom, then placing your trust in a man like that is absolute lunacy.

Ben using withdrawal for the last 9 years, never got pregnant.

😂

Sorry - I meant to quote @Danni677

Natural family planning is pretty safe used properly, but withdrawal on its own deffo risky. And NFP quite tricky if you’re breastfeeding or your cycles haven’t settled post partum.

and the best part is trying to orgasm together or having that few minutes afterwards when you’re still physically together.

Totally! It might be enjoyable to some but I can't possibly understand how. You most want your partner inside you at that point in time. Not removed.

And why the withdrawal method is not liked, putting aside OP's situation, most men need to thrust deepest at the point of orgasm. Not withdraw. Biology has made it so that it is easier to get pregnant, long penis, going deepest to the cervix at the point of ejaculation of semen, to aid fertilisation. So the sperm doesn't have to travel so long. Men are biologically hardwired to thrust deepest at the very point of orgasm, for reproductive reasons. That's why withdrawal method goes against the entire drive a man has at that point. It's asking them to do the very opposite of the hardwired reproductive biological instinct. Which is why it is difficult for men to do.