To think withdrawal is quite safe...

[LilyPotter44]

Whenever I see threads on here about natural family planning and the withdrawal method as means of contraception, people always act as if it's stupid and completely unreliable. Now don't get me wrong, it's not fool proof. But is it really as reckless as people make out?

Dh and I have recently had a baby (3 months ago) and are yet to sort contraception. I don't want to go back on the pill and he's thinking of getting a vasectomy but there's a wait. Having done my research it seems like withdrawal can work when done properly - i.e fully withdrawn a decent length of time before ejaculation not left right until the last second. Studies also seem to indicate that 'pre-ejaculate' for the most part doesn't contain sperm. So why are people so against it? Have you had any experience with it and did it work for you?

if you’re happy having the sort of sex where you don’t get so absorbed into the pleasure of it that you can absolutely 100% stop to pull out, I guess it might work for you. Sounds joyless and mechanical to me but if you’re happy with it 🤷🏾‍♀️

Just buy a box of condoms 🙄

We call it "pull and pray" lol

If you have sex on non fertile days it will work. However you have to KNOW when you are likely to ovulate...

If you ovulate late or early... you can get pregnant.

Use a condom

I think part of tge problem is the name, it suggests pulling out at the last minute.

P.s I should also add that DH and I were not against having kids, so it was always - well if it happened it wouldn't be the end of the world - just not the best timing wise (more to do with careers etc) from the ages of 25-35yrs.

If I was in a place of I absolutely do not want to get pregnant, we would have used contraception.

Worked for me for the past 7 years

His...er...'completion' is always achieved other ways.

Then what's the point to even having sex then if he is just going to be wanked off (or sucked off) then? May as well not even have sex, and him finishing inside is really the whole entire point of sex. What you do sounds like an absolute misery, and not enjoyable at all. So why even bother having sex?

You're conflating two entirely different things. Natural family planning is highly effective if charting is done properly and the couple don't risk sex on any days when the chart may not be clear. The reason it's less effective in real life than condoms or the pill is because it's more prone to human error. But if it's done as a proper method, not a vague 'I'm probably not ovulating yet', then it's very effective.

Withdrawing before ejaculation is not a reliable way of avoiding pregnancy. It might work for you, in which case crack on, but it's so open to misunderstanding and mistiming that it can't really be seen as an actual method of contraception.

I haven't read the full thread but the second poster @LividLaVidaLoca did make me smile. Reminded me of MNet of yore.

OP I hope it works. It sounds less romantic than a condom.

Come back when you're pregnant and tell us about your revised opinion!

I've read all your posts, including the ones where you said pre cum doesn't contain sperm.I'm not going to insult you or anything. You asked us what we think. I think it's a famously unreliable method and everyone who uses it thinks they're doing it properly, or else they wouldn't do it. Personally, I also don't like the idea of having to keep thinking about it and not being able to just go wild, so to speak, but that's me. It's your decision.

YANBU. I used this method for years and years and years, never Failed. (No issues getting preg when I wanted to).

Oh god. Thanks for that. I think I'll steel my resolve again on my inner dream of tubal litigation.

If you're charting properly at the same time I cannot see why it would be that much of an issue.

Ha ha I cannot wait to read the post in about 2 months time 'how did no-one tell me it's not safe?!?' 😂

I can definitely see a line!

...Oh, am I a bit early?

In seriousness, friend has 2 under 2. Guess why. 1st took 7 years and IVF.

This.

Totally agree with this! I don't know why other commenters are being so nasty.

It's worked for the best part of 10 years for me and OH, we got together when I was 21 and we're both very fertile. Was on the pill for 2 years in that time which was horrible. Withdrawal and FAM worked amazingly well for us, both to avoid pregnancy and we've had two planned pregnancies and none unplanned. I think if you're in touch with your body and on the same page about unplanned pregnancies, go for it! But that would be the same for any method of contraception.

It works if it’s done properly ie penis pulled out and ejaculated elsewhere.
for those where it failed, it’s because the man ejaculated unintentionally inside their vagina.
There is no possible way for a women to become pregnant without ejaculation inside the vagina and yes pre cum does not contain sperm.
so ladies who claim they got pregnant this way it’s because your man wasn’t careful enough.

I have used this method for 5 years and never got pregnant, except for when I wanted to (and first month trying so it wasn't that we weren't very fertile). My DH pulls out at the last minute, but he has perfect control of this. Other men may not know when they're about to ejaculate as well as he does.

NHS quotes 82% "typical use" effectiveness for condoms.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/how-effective-contraception/. They're really not gold standard contraception, though I assume that number is a lot higher for mature couples who aren't having a drunken quickie with a new partner.

Withdrawal method is similar odds: it's a hell of a lot better than nothing taking your odds over a year from 4/5 to 1/5 but you definitely wouldn't want to rely on it if pregnancy would be a disaster.

And the answer to "why wouldn't you just use condoms?" is that I'd literally rather not have PIV sex at all than have it with a condom. We're all different.

Hahaha 😆 I read that on a sexual health poster in an FE college I used to work at and I’ve never forgotten it.

@ReneBumsWombats well for the most part it doesn't. The studies indicate that less than half of those tested had sperm in their pre ejaculate and even less had sperm that was motile. But I can appreciate that 'for the most part' isn't exactly fail safe.

The comments about joyless pointless sex are bitchy and spiteful, different things work for different people. I wasn't asking for comments on my bedroom habits.

Appreciate the intelligent, balanced replies and it's given me a lot to think about but in typical MN style it's getting a bit school playground like now so I'll be hiding the thread, thanks again to those who are intelligent enough to provide a proper discussion rather than insults and mocking.

The argument about this method having a similar success rate as condoms is silly. Used properly the success rate of condoms is over 90%.

Is everyone saying that most people use condoms recklessly?

IME women who really don't want to get pregnant use the belt and braces approach of hormonal contraception (if they can) and condoms.

Pretty sure that the only people advocating these sorts of contraceptions and trying to convince women they're effective are pro-lifers.