To think withdrawal is quite safe...

[LilyPotter44]

Whenever I see threads on here about natural family planning and the withdrawal method as means of contraception, people always act as if it's stupid and completely unreliable. Now don't get me wrong, it's not fool proof. But is it really as reckless as people make out?

Dh and I have recently had a baby (3 months ago) and are yet to sort contraception. I don't want to go back on the pill and he's thinking of getting a vasectomy but there's a wait. Having done my research it seems like withdrawal can work when done properly - i.e fully withdrawn a decent length of time before ejaculation not left right until the last second. Studies also seem to indicate that 'pre-ejaculate' for the most part doesn't contain sperm. So why are people so against it? Have you had any experience with it and did it work for you?

You have quoted myths, not facts, e.g. the one about there being no sperm in pre-ejaculate fluid and the other one about the withdrawal method being as effective as condoms. Neither of these are true.

I'm not against it if that's what people want to do, each time their own but it's not something I would ever risk. I have 2 kids, I categorically do not any more babies. It's not something I know much about but it wouldn't be for me.

also, I'm not man but I feel that having to think about withdrawing is crap and my partner would probably feel the same. Want to enjoy the moment.

I want my partner to have the snip too, but in the meantime I have the Mirena which suits me well. Only contraception that's agreed with me.

the pill, coils, implants etc etc are all free and readily available in this country. I get that some woman don't get on with hormonal contraception but condoms are an option too.

if he wants the snip it's clear babies are not on the agenda for him, so why risk it now?

Pre-ejaculate doesn't contain sperm in itself, you're right, but it's entirely possible for sperm to leak into it way before the guy actually ejaculates.

If you want another baby, crack on, otherwise sort some reliable contraception out.

Most contraception failures are due to imperfect use rather than a faulty product.

This particular method is a bugger (ho ho) for user error.

A bit brutal but pretty fair! [I do get you said "aligned" not "both in favour of".]

Just WOW - I have nothing to add other than that this thread is dumb, and you could have used Google to get sensible answers

Why not use condoms? My bf's sister is the happy result of this method although it did mean two babies in under 13 months.

You do need to have absolute trust in your partner and he needs to have good control. This can definitely work well and has done for us for many years with no accidents.
I am surprised by those saying why bother having sex as it can't be good or romantic that way. There are so many different ways to be have sex. It seems outdated to suggest it can only be fulfilling if the man can ejaculate inside the woman.

TBF most "condom failure" is because they're not being used at all, let alone perfectly. They don't work particularly well when left on the bedside table.

"Typical use" includes people who when asked "what contraception are you using?" tick the box marked Condoms, but who in the heat of the moment don't actually put them on.

I have 2 friends that got pregnant using this method. I wouldn't risk it for us as DP and I have got pregnant in the 1st month of trying for our planned babies and we now know for practical/financial reasons we can't have any more.

I have grown up children and we did it for years, worked completely for us

TBF most "condom failure" is because they're not being used at all, let alone perfectly. They don't work particularly well when left on the bedside table.

😂

Worked for me too

Condom failure can be when using condoms too

And you can't get pregnant on your first time, if you do it standing up, breastfeeding, etc

Come back in a couple of months and we can line eyes your (positive) pregnancy test

Condoms are over 90% effective if used correctly. So the argument saying that they are the same as withdrawal is ridiculous. Are you saying that all condom users are reckless?

Having to withdraw every time can't be much fun for your partner @LilyPotter44

What is his opinion on the matter? And why are you so against other forms of contraception? Is it for religious reasons?

Been with my partner from 1, we're now 34 and I'm pregnant after trying for one cycle. For roughly the last 8 years, we've done a mix of withdrawal method and watching the calendar, using condoms when I'm around ovulation time.

@WhenAllIsLost

oh my days you are rude!

Just use a Johnny. FGS!

But pre-ejaculate fluid does contain sperm.

That's why women/girls who enjoy "heavy petting" (ie no penetration, no loss of virginity) end up pregnant and bewildered.

"It works if it’s done properly ie penis pulled out and ejaculated elsewhere.
for those where it failed, it’s because the man ejaculated unintentionally inside their vagina.
There is no possible way for a women to become pregnant without ejaculation inside the vagina and yes pre cum does not contain sperm."

Sorry but this is not true.
I got pregnant (unfortunately ended in a MC) when I was 20. We never had full sex, penis was in vagina for a couple of minutes, absolutely no ejaculation inside or anywhere near vagina.
Resulted in a pregnancy.

So I can categorically say that precum either DOES contain sperm or it somehow makes it's way into the pre-cum on its way out.

Billy Connelly does a joke about "wild horses not being able to drag his arse in the OTHER direction" when talking about the withdrawal method.

I think it’s one of those things that works on paper but real life is different. Women ovulate when they think they aren’t, men cum sooner than they think, or forget whether they’ve had a wee after a wank etc etc Like everything it’s a matter of personal choice. Too me the risk of pregnancy outweighs the tiny inconvenience of condoms but for many women it doesn’t 🤷‍♀️

Withdrawal method is also over 90% effective when used correctly. They both have a big failure rate in typical use because they're both methods which require couples/men to make sensible choices in the heat of the moment.

We used it for years without difficulty. Using again now.
No problem getting pregnant the times when we wanted that to happen.
The man has to be pretty disciplined and not leave it to the last split second.

And who cares if it's 'not much fun for your partner', neither is an unwanted baby