To think withdrawal is quite safe...

[LilyPotter44]

Whenever I see threads on here about natural family planning and the withdrawal method as means of contraception, people always act as if it's stupid and completely unreliable. Now don't get me wrong, it's not fool proof. But is it really as reckless as people make out?

Dh and I have recently had a baby (3 months ago) and are yet to sort contraception. I don't want to go back on the pill and he's thinking of getting a vasectomy but there's a wait. Having done my research it seems like withdrawal can work when done properly - i.e fully withdrawn a decent length of time before ejaculation not left right until the last second. Studies also seem to indicate that 'pre-ejaculate' for the most part doesn't contain sperm. So why are people so against it? Have you had any experience with it and did it work for you?

This isn't an issue for us. His...er...'completion' is always achieved other ways. That doesn't mean sex isn't good for us by the way, it's just what we do.

The only real risk is the pre cum and whether or not dh is one of these elusive 'secreters'

I'm also not advocating this. I've just done my research and weighed up the risks of the method when well times and done correctly. Anecdotally it seems like a lot of people have fallen pregnant this way but I suspect it wasn't done properly in many of these cases. I'm absolutely certain we are doing it properly. The risk comes from the pre cum side of things.

Oh yes, the withdrawal method is mostly successful. After all, I only fell pregnant the once when we used it, as opposed to every single time. So, I'd say it was probably 95% successful.

If you're fertile, you will get pregnant.

OP you say you both know the risks. So you understand that it's not a totally reliable method of contraception, which is all anyone on here is trying to say.

Tbh it sounds as if you/your DH/both of you are perhaps either not on the same page about having another child or are both ambivalent. If the latter, that's fine, but if one or both of you actively don't want another child then it's a bit silly, or reckless, to use something that isn't as reliable as a barrier method.

Withdrawal method. No proper uninterrupted sex. No proper contraception.

Sounds fab. Whatever, you do you.

I'm guessing your husband doesn't like condoms?

I always think of the Billy Connolly sketch on these matters. This one from 1m 50s onwards.

Withdrawal is basically the reproductive version of 'Russian Roulette'.

I’m one of 6 dc. My parents were very careful,
None of us were planned.
Withdrawal method doesn’t work.

OP is your DH saying he doesn't want anymore and you do, and this is the way you're going to get what you want by still practising 'safe' sex? Has he done any research?

Anecdotally it seems like a lot of people have fallen pregnant this way but I suspect it wasn't done properly in many of these cases.

Which shows how hard it is to do properly.

DH and I have used the withdrawal method successfully for 12 years since my last child - despite being very fertile (8 pregnancies).

Basically I am pretty in tune with my body and by tracking ovulation and CM changes we could safely use no contraception for the last week of my cycle, and withdrawal for the week before that, post ov.

Never had a scare or anything.

OP there's a better method for while you wait for vasectomy and don't want the pill.
Condoms. They're great.
We've never had an "accident" even the time the condom split. 10/10 would recommend.
I have found anecdotally that men who won't use condoms correlates with men who "accidentally" come inside you and "forget" to pull out because "it happened so quickly I couldn't stop it."

Yeah, this Catholic uses condoms so less of that please.

'..But alongside natural family planning it's got similar odds to condoms.'

The Billings Method (ie natural family planning) is around 90% effective. Withdrawal is around 78%. Condoms 98%. So no, not really.

But that isn't the case for us.

It's not very effective so just use condoms or a cap or get a coil fitted.

It's not hard.

But another baby will be.

I'm sure many couples would say that. People wouldn't try it if they didn't think they were doing it properly.

No that's not the case at all. He has researched and is fully aware of the risks.

Can anyone really be this stupid. Sounds like the kind of thing a 12 year old would say about sex.

@LilyPotter44 Are you wilfully ignoring every post by all these women who are telling you this doesn’t work?

@ReneBumsWombats If you mean not pulling out in time I have addressed that several times. It's not an issue for us. The risk would be the pre cum secretion which he is aware of and so am I.

So really you both want another baby and neither of you want to just say that out loud?

Because I don't understand why you'd take the risk unless it's actually what you wanted, especially if you're already on the waiting list for a vasectomy. You'd just use condoms for a few months.

Plenty of kids running around to disprove your theory. It can work well. Until it doesn't.

It has it's place if you want to space babies and another pregnancy wouldn't be devastating.

But as you are awaiting a vasectomy, it seems your family is complete. In which case, preumably, another pregnancy is problematic. So why take the risk? Because it's risky. It carries a high failure rate in comparison with other methods of contraception.

Worked for me for 10yrs. However, my period is every 27days. Regular as clock work, so it was withdrawal coupled with abstinence over the fertile window!

But you've only been doing it for 3 months max, that's not proof of anything i.e. if your DH's pre cum does contain sperm or not, which is essentially what you are banking on.

Given some women do not resume ovulating until 3 months after giving birth, and you can resume periods before resuming ovulation, you literally could have been doing this for 3 months without ovulating and then fall pregnant next month because it turns out your DHs pre cum does contain sperm. You dont actually know yet

Go for it if you would be absolutely 100% fine with the possibility of another baby.

No but they seem to be wilfully ignoring every post I make about the timing issue not being relevant in my personal situation.

I haven't ignored the very relevant points about some people secreting sperm into pre cum.

If you read my posts I have quoted facts from the start and never tried to suggest or advocate that it's fool proof. I think I've been quite balanced and taken a lot on board. Unlike the people who have simply hopped on the thread to call me stupid while providing absolutely no counter discussion.