To think withdrawal is quite safe...

[LilyPotter44]

Whenever I see threads on here about natural family planning and the withdrawal method as means of contraception, people always act as if it's stupid and completely unreliable. Now don't get me wrong, it's not fool proof. But is it really as reckless as people make out?

Dh and I have recently had a baby (3 months ago) and are yet to sort contraception. I don't want to go back on the pill and he's thinking of getting a vasectomy but there's a wait. Having done my research it seems like withdrawal can work when done properly - i.e fully withdrawn a decent length of time before ejaculation not left right until the last second. Studies also seem to indicate that 'pre-ejaculate' for the most part doesn't contain sperm. So why are people so against it? Have you had any experience with it and did it work for you?

I’m not sure why you’re getting such sassy replies, the conception board is literally full of posts talking about tracking ovulation dates and now unlikely to the point of impossibility it is to get pregnant apart from those times. This is just that in reverse.

Yes it worked for us for years. I like it cos no hormones for the woman or foreign bodies involved and you maintain the “natural” feeling without the mess.

That said, im always surprised at how daft the general public is so I assume it works for people who understand how it works but it’s generally looked down upon cos there will always be people who completely misinterpret how it works

We aren't planning another pregnancy but it wouldn't be the end of the world if it happened. We have a big enough house, are financially secure and very happy, but no it isn't on the cards. We both know the risks. But there are risks with everything.

It just baffles me why people get so irate about it. They make out you're an immature idiot for even considering it. But alongside natural family planning it's got similar odds to condoms. So why the attitude that has been so brilliantly demonstrated on this thread? Wilfully having unprotected sex when you definitely don't want a baby is one thing. But looking at odds, stats and then weighing it all up against your personal situation is another. And it's far from idiotic.

Men either do or don't secrete sperm in their pre-cum. You only find out whether your partner is a secretor or not when you get pregnant from the withdrawal method.

I have done lots of research on this. A significant minority of men produce viable sperm within their "pre-cum" (most men do not). Some men are more reliable than others about pulling out in time. If you have sex twice in a row he should urinate in between.

We used withdrawal in between babies when it wasn't very important. It worked perfectly well, so I'm fairly sure that my husband falls into the "no sperm in pre-cum" category (we were lucky enough to fall pregnant first try with 3 kids, so our baseline fertility is clearly quite high).

For us, withdrawal has worked fine for 10+ years, even though we get pregnant very easily. This may not be the same for you. No contraception is 100% (you might be especially terrified by the "real life" stats of condoms, which fall well below 90% when not used perfectly). The last time I checked, withdrawal had something like a 96% effectiveness, compared to the pill at about 98% (again, "real world" data, so allowing for people who miss pills etc)

I read that withdrawal is used as the method when the female doesn’t or can’t take the pill any more, or it’s after a baby and it’s really the man’s “turn” to sort contraception.

Men will often try and convince their partners that withdrawal is fine and it’s often because he doesn’t want to wear a condom because “it’s not as good”.

So really the reliability of withdrawal is down to the man entirely. Considering the number of men who can’t be trusted to sit the right way on a toilet with two hands and a map - I ask you, would you fall for that? Because I did, and you can come and say hello to my DD for proof.

We do it a lot. I've not got pregnant this way. I could do though and I'm fully aware of that risk.

"studies seem to indicate"
"for the most part"

I'd want a bit more reassurance than that for basing life changing decisions.

In fact I'm currently looking to buy a new sleeping bag and want to know whether it will be warm enough for camping and I want more reassurance than that!

To add to this when we have conceived it has been first time every time so super fertile! It's still a risk though

Since when? All the condom packs say they're 96% effective. The NHS states they're 98% effective.

@LilyPotter44

The circumstances suggest it will work for you.

As it did for me and @WalkerWalking

No planned pregnancy, but not a disaster if it happens.

If it works for you, that's great. For me, it'd massively take the enjoyment out of sex.

My brother was conceived using this method.

Greetings from Eerie, the withdrawal that didn't work that well.
Could have been the exception to the rule but I still exist, so good luck. It's a Russian lottery, only nobody dies, quite the other way round.

We tried this and ended up with two pregnancies, one from precum and one from randomly ovulating really early when I think I'd been consistent for years. The trouble is you don't know if you're susceptible to either of those until you find out the hard way.

Nice to see anti-Catholic sentiment alive and well on a Sunday!

It has worked fine for me and I wish it didn’t now I’m TTC and still unwillingly using this method.

We used withdrawal in combination with very careful use of the Persona fertility tracking monitor. The result is currently in the middle of his GCSEs.

I completely agree OP 🤫

It worked for us for 2 or 3 years before starting TTC (when it wouldn't have been a disaster of I had become pregnant), which then took only 3 months of trying.

However, now that we definitely don't want another baby I have the copper coil fitted.

A relative of mine had ten pregnancies that way.

'the conception board is literally full of posts talking about tracking ovulation dates and now unlikely to the point of impossibility it is to get pregnant apart from those times'

...And lo, then there is the perimenopause, and all you thought was predictable, logical, and unlikely about menstrual roulette will be fucked up beyond all recognition. I have found out in no uncertain terms that sometimes it can shake up some kind of super fertility, not genteel decline.

We used it for about a year until DD came along but we didn't mind getting pregnant and were planning on having a baby within the next couple of years. So far, 8 months down the line the abstinence method has been pretty reliable 😂😭 when we do have sex again, we're definitely not going to use the withdrawal method!!!

Oh crap yeah, now I think about it (I dont want to think too hard about my parents having sex) I am only here because this method sometimes fails...

My GP quoted me 78% for condoms in real-life usage (I don't know where he got that exact number from though)

It would make sense that the NHS quote the higher number (from lab trials) because they don't want people to "give up" on condoms because of the STI factor as well.

It is idiotic if you do not want a baby as it will eventually result in a baby for the majority in a year as studies show

No method is 100% effective which is why suggestions of double up eg pill and condom are always recommended if you’re certain you don’t want any more.

NHS has efficacy rates of all methods. Start there www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/how-effective-contraception/

In your situation I would be seriously considering taking the pill again until your partner has had the vasectomy AND follow shows it has worked.