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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour telling me to slow down

137 replies

SurfBox · 17/06/2022 16:42

I live in an estate and today I was driving in to my driver and getting out of my car. My neighbour from about 6 houses up shouts at me ''can you drive slower?''

I had no idea I was driving fast as I go at the same speed everybody else does driving in. But I'd have no bother if somebody asked me politely and privately but she yelled it over 6 walls with other neighbours out about their business sitting watching.

AIBU to think she was rude and if you have a problem approach the neighbour face to face and not shout over a wall for all to see?

OP posts:
MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 17/06/2022 20:07

Hopefully OP will drive a bit slower now y

Babyroobs · 17/06/2022 20:10

I shout at people driving too fast down our street all the time. people shouldn't need to be told, when there are kids playing and cats around etc. the number of cats killed in our village just this week is horrendous.

Thinkingblonde · 17/06/2022 20:12

Topseyt123 · 17/06/2022 18:53

I highly doubt that she just made this up and shouted at you for the hell of it.

I live on a typical residential road which used to be a cul-de-sac until the land at the end was developed. The number of boy racer types that drive far too fast along it is shocking. There are children playing out here regularly. It is the sort of road where the limit is 30mph, but 30 would actually be far too fast along it for the type of road it is and the type of things that might be going on there - children, animals etc.

Slow down. You were probably going faster than you think. You may have normalised that.

The road I lived in as a child was closed off, then opened up. It became rat run for the boy racers so the highways agency had it closed off again after complaints.

GoldenSongbird · 17/06/2022 20:16

Speeding in a built-up area is one of the few times when people regularly shout out. It would have been more unusual if she'd approached you quietly about it. Shouting at you meant she had back-up from the other neighbours, if you denied going too fast.
Fwiw I don't think it makes any difference that you're female. Someone shouted at my DH when he was going about 10 in a 5. DH apologised. That's what you should have done.

Tilltheend99 · 17/06/2022 20:21

Just slow down. You are driving a dangerous vehicle and it’s unnecessary. Even if it was an emergency you wouldn’t need to be speeding as the ambulance driver would be doing it for you.

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee · 17/06/2022 20:28

SurfBox · 17/06/2022 16:52

I don;t know exactly my speed but it's a 800l fiat scent so it's not a BMW.

If you're in a small car then you will know when you are driving too fast, especially in a built up area, because you will be braking (harshly) a lot and small cars tend to feel like they are going faster than they are because they are closer to the floor.
If you have no concept of your speed then you really shouldn't be driving, how on earth would you be able to judge stopping distances if you don't know how fast you're going.

Staryflight445 · 17/06/2022 20:33

CavernousScream · 17/06/2022 17:22

Not knowing how fast you drive does suggest you’re a careless and irresponsible driver. You’re neighbour probably has a point.

Yep. Especially how OP is more annoyed at her neighbour rather than looking at her own behaviour and wondering why someone reacted like that.

op it’s concerning you didn’t even know what speed you were doing. You’re responsible for a huge mass of metal and really should take more care. It doesn’t matter who lives in your area, you should always be prepared for things to be different. No wonder why so many accidents happen so close to peoples homes.

WishILivedInThrushGreen · 17/06/2022 20:33

People don't generally want to approach neighbours about something that could be detrimental.

I'd take it on the chin and mind your speed.

The trouble with the roads before your home is that you can get lulled into a false sense of security.

As they say, familiarity breeds contempt.

TooBored1 · 17/06/2022 20:41

SurfBox · 17/06/2022 16:55

just slow down in the future especially as it’s a warm day and likely kids are playing out

Not where I am and no kids are around here, it's a cul de sac with all adults;very quiet.

Very quiet until you speed into the scene....

ArmyBoat · 17/06/2022 21:00

She was probably fed up of you speeding down the street, and today for some reason she couldn't contain her annoyance.
Maybe it is a little rude to shout down the street, but speeding down a cul de sac is also very rude, and the neighbours that were out and about probably all think the same thing, and are delighted someone finally said something.

Mylittlepea · 17/06/2022 21:08

Slow down. People like you piss me off thinking it’s okay to speed down a residential street then take offence when someone challenges it.

I’ve lived in my cul de sac for 20 years and there’s loads of parked cars so you have to take it easy when driving down it. Last week a woman in a small car like yours nearly took me out as I was leaving to go to work. Took my breathe away so as she drove past I asked her to wind down her window. I was polite but told her that her driving was dangerous and she’d freaked me out. She said “I’ve lived down here for years and always drive like this”. FFS

Mylittlepea · 17/06/2022 21:10

Mylittlepea · 17/06/2022 21:08

Slow down. People like you piss me off thinking it’s okay to speed down a residential street then take offence when someone challenges it.

I’ve lived in my cul de sac for 20 years and there’s loads of parked cars so you have to take it easy when driving down it. Last week a woman in a small car like yours nearly took me out as I was leaving to go to work. Took my breathe away so as she drove past I asked her to wind down her window. I was polite but told her that her driving was dangerous and she’d freaked me out. She said “I’ve lived down here for years and always drive like this”. FFS

Actually just had a thought! Maybe that was you🙄

Pegasushaswings · 17/06/2022 21:11

My neighbour drives like an absolute idiot in and out of his drive and into our turning, he drives far too fast even though we are near a school so I have a sticker on my bin saying ‘kill your speed , not a child’ facing his house. 🤣 no one likes being called out but truthfully are you driving a bit too fast?

Octomore · 17/06/2022 21:13

SurfBox · 17/06/2022 16:55

just slow down in the future especially as it’s a warm day and likely kids are playing out

Not where I am and no kids are around here, it's a cul de sac with all adults;very quiet.

A cul de sac is not an appropriate place to be doing any kind of real speed.

I think you were probably driving too fast, so she was right to say something

AutieAdult · 17/06/2022 21:22

I can’t drive but if someone shouted at me “look where you’re going” my first instinct would be to look around.

Assuming the road was clear or you were not turning etc did you not immediately check your speed when she shouted?

Maybe other car drivers could say if they would have checked?

hammsalllad · 17/06/2022 21:25

How many of you were actually there to know the OP must have been driving too fast?

She might have been.
But in turn the neighbour might just be a twat.

girlmom21 · 17/06/2022 21:32

hammsalllad · 17/06/2022 21:25

How many of you were actually there to know the OP must have been driving too fast?

She might have been.
But in turn the neighbour might just be a twat.

OP doesn't even know if she was driving fast

Sallypally0 · 17/06/2022 21:39

Try looking at your speedo. Hardly difficult.

carefullycourageous · 17/06/2022 22:21

Unless you can tell me what speed you were doing, I'm thinking you were going a bit fast.

Just make sure you are going at a reasonable speed and drive carefully, then things will be fine. Don't shit on your own doorstep.

SeemsSoUnfair · 17/06/2022 22:36

SurfBox · 17/06/2022 16:51

My question though was how she confronted me wrong and abrasive.

It was a dick thing to do to drive too fast in a built up area, so essentially that cancels your indignation at being called out for it 🤷🏻‍♀️

2bazookas · 18/06/2022 00:06

Are you sure the neighbour wasnt mocking how slowly you drove in?

jcyclops · 18/06/2022 00:28

If you drive 80 metres up your cul-de-sac at 30mph it takes about 5 seconds, the stopping distance is 23 metres and there is a 20% chance hitting a pedestrian would kill them. If you drive at 20mph it takes about 8 seconds, the stopping distance is 12 metres and there is a 2.5% chance hitting a pedestrian would kill them.

Is it worth it to save 3 seconds of your day?

AnnieSnap · 18/06/2022 21:11

I see the OP hasn’t been back. Presumably because most replies agree with her neighbour. 🙄

carefullycourageous · 18/06/2022 23:34

jcyclops · 18/06/2022 00:28

If you drive 80 metres up your cul-de-sac at 30mph it takes about 5 seconds, the stopping distance is 23 metres and there is a 20% chance hitting a pedestrian would kill them. If you drive at 20mph it takes about 8 seconds, the stopping distance is 12 metres and there is a 2.5% chance hitting a pedestrian would kill them.

Is it worth it to save 3 seconds of your day?

Thanks for posting this, very interesting! I think the comparative death stats are key, cutting speed is so beneficial.

Original poster
SurfBox · 23/06/2022 15:17

I see the OP hasn’t been back. Presumably because most replies agree with her neighbour

no because most replies totally missed the point,I was asking that if you have a problem could you not come over and say it privately and diplomatically?

Rather than that I got roasted for my apparent fast driving that um nobody has seeing.

OP posts: