AIBU to lose my sh*t at these cheeky f*ckers?

[StitchInLime]

So we decided to give some toys away for free to a woman who posted on local Facebook page saying she is struggling with money as a single mum of twins (boy and girl) and was worried about their upcoming 7th birthdays. She was delighted, said they’d make ideal presents and was super grateful. My only stipulation was she comes to collect them herself.

So last night she turned up… with another couple. Fine, they have a van so makes sense (quite bulky toys: Barbie dollhouse, Avengers plane etc). But then the other woman in the couple starts asking me if I’m giving any other toys away for free, or even kids clothes, as their kids could do with some stuff too. I was a bit 😒 but just sort of smiled and said no. But then (and honestly can’t even believe this happened as I type this) the (quite big) dude actually walks through into the play area we’ve set up in conservatory and starts going through the other toys. Toys we’re keeping! When I asked what he was doing, he said he was just seeing what other toys they could take, like I hadn’t just made it clear only the stuff in the hallway was to be taken.

So obviously lost my shit a bit and told him we weren’t Toy R Us and he was like ‘alright, calm down love’ while his wife / GF gave me a right look and I swear I heard her say ‘stupid bitch’ under her breath. The original woman we were helping did look super embarrassed, to be fair to her.

They stormed past me and start loading the toys up, giving me filthy looks as they did and I just wanted them out of the house as honestly felt a little threatened by then and hubby was at footie (kids were playing upstairs thankfully). But then they realised they can’t fit the mega dollhouse in so ask to come back the next day. I say not possible as I’m out, and the dude said ‘well that’s the only time we can do it’ and that was it, I was done with these CFs so I just said ‘dollhouse withdrawn from offer then’ and closed the door on them. They actually knocked a few times then eventually left.

But now I’m feeling all sorts of guilt. I did email the woman to explain how I felt about it all, but if she has other people who can help her get the dollhouse then she can still have it but she has left me on read. AIBU for withdrawing the dollhouse? She did get an Avengers plane and easel plus some other bits for free. I just couldn’t deal with the idea of those CF turning up again!

You did a really kind thing and they completely took advantage of your kindness. They sound really scary, I’m glad that you are okay.

I’m afraid I think they were scammers, and wouldn’t be surprised if your children’s toys are on eBay or some other site being sold for profit.

She clearly means Facebook messaging.

That's really shocking. Must have been pretty intimdating.

@starfishmummy

Either a gf or a mistake. a lot of people still don't realise you can change your vote just by clicking on the other option.

My work brings me into contact with people like this who have no shame.

Once had cause to enquire about their finances and it turned out their disposable income after bills childcare and housing was about 150% of my families.

Yet each Thursday they're down at the foodbank collecting a parcel of free food, complaining it isn't delivered by the 70odd year old lady that helps out, they get money from the housing association to help with their fuel bills and take up any offers of anything they can get. The housing even give them a free month rent (not really free but it's a month off) and a Christmas bonus of Asda Vouchers because They're "poor".

They're active on social media and I've seen them asking for people to "gift" them, food, toys, kitchen goods, use of holiday static caravans, car seats and even cars.

Woe betide anyone who suggests that theyre taking the Mick. There are so many gullible people who jump to defend these poor people persecuted by the government living in poverty without a anything to back it up.

If not your first lady certainly the van people were this sort.

This is why I advertise stuff on Facebook under a second profile and offer delivery at 50p per mile from a local landmark.

how can you tell if an email has been read or not?

Even though it sounds like it was indeed on FB, as a PP just pointed out, most email programs allow you to request a read receipt as a basic function.

Tl:dr all posts, so sorry if I missed something…but this stuff is definitely going to a car boot sale 💯

Unsurprisingly, you did miss something: scores of people saying the same thing as you just did. It is kind of insulting, whether intentioned or not, to just assume that all of the previous posts must be meaningless noise with nothing of any value to anybody in them, but that your own post (making quite an obvious point) will be THE post that clears it all up in a jiffy. It does have more than a whiff of "Stand back, dimwitted mumblers: The Oracle has arrived".

@TomRaider

Sadly, I think there are a lot of people who genuinely do believe that the world is there for them; and that all of the other people they meet have been put there for the sole purpose of making their own lives nicer.

They come from the whole spectrum of economic backgrounds - whether living in social housing, multiple palaces or anywhere in between.

Thats why its advisable to sell something for a little money rather than for free unless you're giving it to friends. Some people just take the piss. Such a shame as you were trying to do a good thing. Don't fee guilty. You still did a good. You shouldn't feel threatened in your own home.

Are you seriously asking AIBU? I'd have told them to eff off as soon as they walked through the house without permission.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll It's so irritating when everyone says the same bloody thing & hasn't RTFT. OP's make it clear what's happening (in this case that the woman DID have twins & wasn't conning OP) but STILL everyone says the same damn thing..

I usually get asked can I deliver. I always tell them no I don't drive myself and it's not Amazon free next day delivery. 😂😂😂

Have you thought about donating them through something like your local health visiting team? Youth centre or social care? Or food bank? They will be able to see the genuine people and help them. I think places like Facebook market are the sort of place where literally anyone could contact you and just take the puss and sell on. You are absolutely definitely not being unreasonable! They were so rude and cheeky and just so bloody entitled. There are too many people who feel entitled in this world! Makes me so cross!

Poor woman, for feeling obliged to accept a favour from such cheeky sods!

Shit I clicked YABU - totally meant to do YANBU!
Cheeky shits! I don't know what I would have done but I certainly wouldn't have kept my cool! Well done x

I remember when I sold a bunch of PJ mask toys

woman gave me a sob story and a half and she came round and bought the lot

Saw them readvertised in fb not long later for double what she paid.

I kept seeing it for weeks. No one was interested. I think she ended up selling them for less than what she paid for.

karma

Nobody gets help from the housing association towards fuel bills! This is totally false! Whoever told you this is lying through their teeth

I stopped giving things away for free, way too much hassle.
e.g - 3 year old fridge freezer, full working order. Offered for free collection only. Person turns up, sees a small scratch on the side and wanted ME to pay their full money for a wasted trip, still took the fridge though.

I have a load of stories like that, and sadly, not once did I think it went to a good home, and 9/10 new it was going to be sold on.

Bloody hell. Takes entitlement to a whole new level. Seems like they were only helping the woman out as they thought there would fe something in it for them. CFs indeed.

@SlatsandFlaps My housing association gave me fuel vouchers last week.

Nobody gets help from the housing association towards fuel bills!

Depends where they're posting from - it seems they do in Scotland at least:

www.sfha.co.uk/news/news-category/sfha-news/news-article/housing-associations-support-tenants-struggling-with-energy-costs

Some people just don’t know how to behave. Most of us understand, without even having to be told, that you don’t walk into somebody’s house and start going through their stuff. And we understand that when somebody does something kind/nice/charitable, etc, you repay them with thanks and gratitude - not demand more and then act like YOU’VE been cheated and misled!! But some people can’t grasp even the basics of civilised behaviour.

In a nutshell, those people are why I’m sceptical about socialism and all idealistic left-wing rhetoric. How can you ‘build community’ and ‘share’ and ‘work for the common good’, and so on, when you’re living in a society with cretins like that?

The problem is that many people who genuinely can’t buy toys/cots/pushchairs etc because they don’t have the money also tend to not have cars/vehicles and tend to rely on public transport. So I have delivered stuff in my car in the past to such people.

Sounds like this woman had to ask someone random at the school gates/dodgy neighbour to help out to go collect the stuff and she made a bad choice in the people she asked. She is probably mortified.

That toys R us comment is gold.

We had similar, when we moved a few years ago we put a sofa up on market place that we weren't taking with us, it was part of my living room suite with two matching chairs and a large footstool, for use in a smaller nook room in the new house.

I put it on for free, collection only and only photographed the sofa, my ad was something like '3 seater sofa followed by the name of the sofa and material type.

I had loads of messages from people wanting it delivered. The woman who turned up for it came with a two men and a van. After watching them load ths sofa up I went upstairs, I head the front door open again, so went back down, they'd got hold of a chair each, I asked what they were doing and was told by the woman 'there's no point me not having the chairs as well since there here'. I saw red, as you can imagine, and it ended with them unloading the sofa from the van.

In the end the sofa was picked up by the husband of someone in our local hospice who took it for in the bereavement room. A year or two later I donated the chairs and footstools.